Simming...

So I have gone back to major simming and this time I think I am sticking closer to the truth of my family history than I ever have. Part of me wants to skew reality (more than I actually already am) and keep my parents happily married. As sims its so nice (yes horrible nausiating) to see them kissy and huggy and much to my love of keeping dinner down, they want to woohoo <b>all the damn time</b> (for you non simming people, woohoo his the sim version of sex. Thank god you actually have to <i>try</i> to have a baby, cause OMG I would have me plus like ninety siblings by now, my mom would not have made it out of college.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, they are so happy and a part of me want to play it out and not have their relationship degenerate to the point where they need lawyers to simply decide who takes me school shopping where and when. (This didn't really happen. In actual reality my dad became the king of deadbeat dads at one time choosing his step children over me and lying saying that he realized when he left my mother he was killing all chances of a relationship with me. <b>aside: I was freaking six, all I knew was that my daddy wasn't living at home with me anymore. I went to therapy because I thought I was the only kid in the world whose daddy didn't love her. I think he could have saved that one. I <i>lived</i> for our few outings. He didn't sacrifice <i>anything</i>, he <i>threw</i> it away.</b>

Sorry, don't you love those little tangents of mine?

The last time I did this, I let them split up and the result was sim me was waaaay more screwed up than actual me is. The second time I split them up sim me was was awesome. The first time I kept them together, my sim achieved nothing and was so screwed up that even when my sim husband carried on a long term affair with the woman down the block including having multiple children with her, adult sim me was furious with him but effing in love with him literally <b>ALL</b> her wants were pleasing him and all of her fears were him dying marriage breaking up and death of her dad. The second time I let them stay together, I was an awesome person who not only dominated my marriage but made the choice to oust the ex. I <i>liked</i> her. So you see it could go either way.

Why is life so much more awesome in the sims? I mean its not the fact that I can control them or make myself super thin with long luxurious locks and grey eyes. Its just easier period. I build a house one that I love and we move in and everyone is happy and its all good. Or bad. But still very easy.

As usual my dreams will probably be in sim form tonight. I think tomorrow I will let them woohoo to their hearts content that I come into play. I think its time.

Well blogs and kisses, readers. I am going to bed. Whatever this is I'm catching has caught me and I just want to curl up and sleep.

Terminally Single and Blogging is signing off for the night!

<b>muhwah!</b>

Weddings and marriage

So I consulted a palm reading website via my phone and I discovered that according to my palm, I am due to marry again. Not only that, (snicker) I am due two more children. (Guffaw)

I kept telling myself that it was hokey nonsense but there was one truth I could ignore. It pegged my first marriage and children perfectly. My first marriage line isn't long but it has three lines going through it representing my children and the first line barely passes through it. The website said that this means that the first child was concieved before marriage and was barely into the marriage to be frank the site that this child is barely legal. J was born five months into my first marriage. If I hadn't pressured randy to get married J would have been technically illigitamte as I'm sure that given time to actually consider it, one or both of us would have seen that this marriage was going to be bad and would have backed out completely.

Anyway...

The site explained a few other lines in that section of my hand as well. There's a line between my marriage line. This apparently means a child will enter my family between my marriages. I don't understand that one. There's also a line at the top of my second marriage. I'm supposed to have another baby.

So where the hell is he? I've passed the stage where I randomly look and give up and get depressed. Romantic me has been gunned down too many times. I've been through the stage where I swear I can feel him. Pretty sure that was indigestion.

What am I doing wrong? I had a hook on one guy but I saw right off the back that to him I was just a booty call. My body screamed that this was fine. This was more than fine but my heart put its prevebial foot down and said no and my brain reluctantly agreed.

I am lonely. I'm sick of planning my wedding with no groom. I know nearly every detail about it down to the man who I want to ask to walk me down the aisle as it will not be my actual dad, it will be the guy that has been more of a dad than any guy I've ever known. I just want to see face of the guy that's going to promise before god to love me. The guy that's not going to stand up in church and lie his ass off.

Oh damn tears are coming. Well, beofre they get here, I'm going to stuff romantic me back in the closet to have here bullet wounds attended to.

Terminally single and blogging is going back to the sims where romance is easy...

Fed up with Facebook! (And people)

I admit it, I'm about to go into bitch mode and not for any 'real' reason. As a matter of fact this is probably going to come across to some of you as a whine. Here's a truth I may not have shared before: I don't really care if that annoys you. Ooops! Sorry my inner bitch is fighting to get out but if you look at the top of this page, (the blog page not my facebook page) it does say that this is MY blog and if you don't want to be bothered then move on.

Anyway, now that I've scared the men out of the room by waving my box of tampons like a flag (no I'm not ragging not that any of u need to know when that is happening, ever; it was a metaphor) let me continue.

One would think that with the movie the social network coming out, facebook would he one of the hippest places on the web and that people would use it as the social network it is, and maybe they are but none of my friends. To be very clear and fair, I have three people that post on my wall in response to ANYTHING I say. No I take that back, four. Four people.

Awhile ago I was outraged about the Brittish professor basically re writing Huck afinn because of the over use of the word Nigger. Uh oh go get the pc police I said the dreaded n word. Anyway, I posted an actual question about why people get so touchy about that word. For example its okay for blacks to fix the letters at the end and say nigga and use it as an endearment. We walk around all damn day saying what's up my nigga. But god forbid a white person say it in any form, we're ready to beat the hell outta him. Does the same hold true for whites? They want to beat the hell outta blacks for calling them crackers (something I have personally done once in my life and it sounded bso fucking absurd I couldn't do it with a straight face) but do they take off the er, replace it with an a and walk around saying, "what's up my cracka??" Personally I would stop in my tracks and laugh so hard I'd probably hurt myself. Anyway, I posted a serious question like that and one person responded. God Bless Sarah. She stepped up where everyone else was too chicken. When I posted about the professor only Robert responded.

There's the stupid shit I post. Jason responds to that. Love him so much for that.

There are the times that I let my romantic side out so that she can get shotdown in a love driveby meaning I suddenly remember that not one damn person on this earth wants me in anyway but a fucking friend and she starts crying. Bambi my love responds and reminds me that true love does exsist. She tries hard to reassure me that someone out there loves or will love me as much as her husband loves her.

Then there's the people that see something on my facebook and who text me. I love you to but if its not a direct question like "Where do I send bail money?" Then blow up my facebook. If it needs to stay private I will let you know. Nine times out of ten if I put it on facebook, its not private.

I rarely do private. Private is for people that like having something to themselves. I've don't the by myself thingbfor too long...

Let's not go into the people who would rather not use the world biggest social network outside of texting to talk. I am not a phone person. There's a remarkable large quantity of my friends who are still trying to change me into a phone person. If Blind Tom over in the corner can see that I would rather post on FACEBOOK that I'm so sad I could eat a whole cheesecake (again metaphor). What makes the people who actually know me think I want to use the phone shaped button on my phone which it still just as shiny as a new penny and talk???

I like my facebook. I like my texting. I like that faceless but still intimate connection. People that I actually talk to on facebook and text are special people.

But lately, my facebook has become a farmville notification machine. I can open my facebook for droid app and see thirteen notifications and get so bloody happy... until I see that they are from farmville.

Every now and then I wish I had never started playing that game.

Okay, bitch me is spent and sentimental me is coming to the surface. This may be a blogging night... we'll see...

Trying a new blog client....

I basically want to see if this works better than blogger-droid. So far I am impressed as this one capitalizes my I's which is something the other one didn't do. Apparently it also does my contractions... let's see if it makes do a captcha...

Happy New Year, Bloggers!

Well, another year bites the dust and Im still single. Ah well, used to it now. Don't see it changing no matter bwhat my friends say. I wasn't slated for real happiness.

So tonight, I'm going to go out and drink myself way stupider than I normally pretend to be. This of course means that I am going to drink until I am the epitome of every blonde joke anyone ever came up with. I'm sorry thats not nice. I know some very intellegent blondes. Hell, I know some really smart bleach blondes too.

I just want to get kissed at midnight tonight. I will promise here and now that if I get a kiss at midnight tonight, Ib won't whine (outloud) about my single state for.... Three whole weeks. I will fill the time with something else...

Yeah right. If you buy that, I know a bridge you should purchase...

Happy New Year, Bloggers!

Single and Blogging is going to prettyfy herself for tonight...

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Sometimes you just have to....

...reach Deep inside and pull lut your inner bitch...

I have been down here in Charlotte for now, five months and all that time I have been wondering. Why are there people on my facebook that i dont even like??

And its not so much that i dont like them, I dont really know them. There are the friends I met in Andis group... Some of them are going because we NEVER talk. Hell a couple of them I made it a point to go say hello or happy birthday on their birthdays and they never said a word.

Then there are the people for applications I dont play anymore. Takiing up space. Sorry but they are.

Those are the people I simply have no reason to still have on my facebook, the ones im going to be a bitch about...

Well these are the high and mighty so and shits who couldnt be bothered to say one freaking word to me in high school but tbe second we are all adults, they want to claim me as a friend. The people that even though ive moved out of New Jersey, they still invite me to shit like Cardio Strip Class. I even go to some peoples page personally and tell them, I dont live there anymore...

I mean damn, if you wanted me to help you out and attend your stuff now, maybe you should have lowered yourself long ago to say hello.

Thats like seeing your hated hkigh school enemy after ten years and thy run to you and hug you. All you can think is "dude, wtf?" You really have no idea how many times i have had that happen... Someone that was way beyond truely horrible to me in school comes up to me years later and is just so happy to see me.

So anyway, if in the next few hours i offend anyone by doing sometime small like taking you off my facebook and its a huge deal to you then two things. One, get a freaking life, its Facebook and im not famous. Two, remember that sometimes its better to use a social network to be uhm... Whats the word... SOCIAL.

Toodles!

Single and Blogging is stearing towards the iceburg...

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Okay so I have been remiss in blogging...

But this time Ik have a good reason. First I was busy trying to keep my bkids from dying with the flu, now Ive got it. Did I mention that i hate being sick? Pretty sure u have stumbled upon my temper tantrum about it already.

Seriously, almost every part of me that can hurt, does hurt. I wake up with it and i sleep with it and its not that kind of hurt that you get when someone has spend the night pretending your body is a pretzel. I would welcome that hurt...

So I will try to come back but at this point idk.

Wanna know how bad I feel, you guys...?

I can only play the sims for short bursts. Even they tired me out...

Oi!!

Thats bad....

Single and blogging is sick and tired... And tired and sick, tired of being sick and sick of being tired...

*groan*

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Asking God...

So a very good friend of mine found himself standing on the very fine line between life and death/ sanity and utter loss and had serious trouble trying to find a reason not to take that final step over...

I swear until my dying day that whoever called the police to his house has my undying love and respect. Whoever you are you saved his life and had I seen the post before you and actually knew his address, i would have done the exact same.

Its funny how you never really know how deep your feelings run for someone until you almost lose them. If he had died i dont know when or if I would have been able to stop crying. He's too special to go.

This sunday at church, I was given the right hand of fellowship. For all that don't know, this means my son, my mother and I were welcomed into the church as full members. As I sat there in my pew later, i felt a sort of... I dont know... Fullness and when they did alter call I went up. Never in all my life have I gone to alter call, bloggers. I think it was because this time, I had a reason to go and a favor to ask.

I asked God to take my friends pound of sorrow that he's been carrying around for sometime now and put it on me. I will take his pain as my own and bear it as my own. Anything to help him out.

I dont know if I beleive that God will listen and answer me, I only know that I asked.

On the flip side, I also had a funky dream last night. I dreamt that another friend of mine started talking to me again. That one I doubt was anything other than a dream and it was closely followed by another episode in days of my dream life with the guy with no actual face...

Wow...

Okay so The sims are re installed and I am playing again. See ya!

Single and Blogging is going simming!

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I guess....

I should take this ungodly hour of the morning and blog since I have nothing else to do.

Hehe, I made a funny...

So Olivia passed through the snotting, coughing, body ache part of the flu and arrived tonight at cant keep shit in stomach... Yay me! We got home about eight something, I put them to bed at eleven because tonight was one of those nights where they NEEDED to shower. It's one thirty now and at this point, Olivia has thrown up twice. Shes getting no sleep and I'm kinda wondering if even the basest part of me can justify sending her to school in the AM.

On top of that, Jovaughn has kicked it up a notch on his asthma. Olivia tried really hard to share her cold, and I guess thats partly my fault because I could have had her stay in utter seclusion but instead I let her play with everyone. Only problem is when Jovaughn gets sick, he has to add his asthma to it. Can't breathe, can't run, can't really do anything but lay there and cough.

We had a bit of a fight tonight because once again, I had to tell him to take an albuterol treatment. He's old enough to know that if the treatments help you breathe and one needs good breathing to stay alive, one would take the treatment when one is having trouble breathing. No, he would rather build his city than fix his breathing. I got on him about thinking for himself because I am not always going to be awake, or there for that matter. I dont want a call from the police/ college/ girlfriend/ wife one day saying he's dead because he had an asthma attack. His dont come on suddenly. They never do. They creep up and give plenty of warning that they are about to smack him stupid. He has plenty of time to do something. Last year he ended up in the hospital because he couldnt breathe and was afraid to wake me because not being able to breathe wasnt on my list of reasons to wake me. See, we really need to work on that thinking thing. Breathing problems is right up there with massive amounts of blood loss and limb loss. Didn't think I had to actually clarify that but there you go.

So I think I am may keep Jovaughn and Olivia home tomorrow because she needs real rest, and he needs round the clock breathing treatments. Kayla will have to be a big girl and go to school on her own.

Times like this, I'm kinda glad I dont have a job because it would be hell having two sick kids and trying to juggle a well one and work with them. If Debbie was any indication, I doubt that new boss would be okay with me standing in her face telling them that whether they like it or not, my kids and my mom come before EVERYTHING and if they think minimum wage is enough to make me leave my sick kids to their own devices, they can kiss my ass as I walk out.

Your face is probably showing surprise and your mouth is probably agreeing with me but keep in mind that i actually did tell Dionza (the assistant mng from hell) this. Debbie replied that I needn't have phrased it that way but one, she understood, two, she partially agreed because no one should put a aside a job for their kids (I so cannot go into depth about that here so dont ask) and three, yay for standing up to the great red headed bitch.

So its two am now. Theres clothed in the dryer, I have listened to Lady Antebellum's "I Need You Now." For what has got to be the eight hundreth time, and I'm actually looking at tired.

So we will see with seven AM brings. Probably me home with two sick kids. Maybe three if Kayla objects too much at having to do a two day week on her own. Being Thanksgiving week, I could really care less if school happens.

God, I love this song...

Okay, maybe now that I have turned on the air so that Kayla will stop tossibg and turning, olivia can sleep Lcold puts her to sleep like heat puts me out) and Jovaughn can breathe. I am going to go play eskimo with my covers and cath a few z's by the tail.

Single and Blogging is so very amazed that I haven't gotten the flu yet... Hmmm... This shit's gonna whammy me for Christmas...

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Ugh!!

You know, bloggers, I hate to complain, but this the week that I am allowing the sunny to disapear behind the clouds, but I really hate being female sometimes. If I could travel back to Adam and Eve, I would pelt that damn woman with every apple on the tree before she put one in her mouth. I would tell her what being a woman is like because of her and scare the fig leaf off her supposedly narrow little body.

Enough said.

So I had a text a thon with Carrie last night. We actually covered real subjects and very little stupid stuff. Her text could went from the seven twenty she was sharing with John to over thirteen hundred last night aand then I sent another two fifty while she slept so that her text count can go up. She/ we are in a competition with her daughter for bragging rights. As of this mornin Carrie was a mere four hundred some shy of doubling her daughters 5,730. She was at 10,997 I believe. I think its safe to say shes not going to catch up. Then again... She is a teenager.

It was fun. Carrie and I used to do shit like that all the time. Her text count would be low and we'd have a nightlong jam session. And in the morning her daughter would plotz. Did I mention I would LOVE to be a fly on the way when she sees the tally this morning?

Okay good mood returning.

Besides texting Carrie, I stayed up last night making them on the sims. I have managed to keep the same game for once long enough so that I have a chance of really playing me. Its cool. I might actually get to play my kids! I just need to finish making my friends so that i have people to talk and hang out with.

Grrr. Sorry had to yell at kids. Y do kids insist on wearing dirty socks over clean ones?? Everytime?!?!?!?! I don't get it. They would rather walk around with yesterdays crud on their feet than go upstairs and get more... Ugh!

Okay, back to happy.

It is now seven thirty four and they will be leaving in about ten minutes and i can go back to sleep.

I was stupid and stayed up till two playing sims and texting. Now I am paying for it.

No worries, another three hours of sleep will do me fine. Then lunch and outting with Mommy and return her car, amd instant sleep time tomorrow.

Okay, time to go do hair...

Love and kisses this early am!

Single and Blogging is doing the Sleepy Mommy Shuffle!

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