Tonight, apparently, that's what I have done.
So a Yeshiva group wanted to build a college for the furthering of Jewish studies in my old hometown and they were denied. I knew nothing about it until it became a huge issue and the posts that I saw on it were boarder line propaganda for bigotry and hatred. At least three articles interviewed people that called the group "Those people." and constantly said that they didn't want "those people" in their town. They wouldn't be able to send their children to the parks because "those people" would always be there. Property values would plummet because of "those people"
Ocean sin't known for being very open minded. To anything.
Growing up black there was hell. Teachers assumed that I wasn't worth taking the time on. A lady that was once my period 5a teacher and who I believe is now actually the principal of my old high school, once called me a liar when doing the family tree project. We were to study our backgrounds and build some stupid cube of who our ancestors were. Parts of family come from France and some Indian tribes. She threw out my research and made me put Africa on my cube. She assumed that because I was black I was naturally descended from slaves and therefore the only country on my family tree should be Africa. Did I tell my friends? No. I cried in the bathroom and then went home and told my mother who fought against her for me. My first day in OTIS a white male student looked me in the eye then turned to his friend and said "Great, they let another nigger in." I went to the bathroom and cried. I went home and told my mom I was not going back. She informed me that I was going back. Hell my own guidance counselor sat me in her office and told me that I I didn't have much going for me and that pretty much the only thing I had going for me was that I was thankfully well spoken. That Ocean had tried to give me all the breaks they could give to someone like me.
That was when I stopped letting my mother fight my battles. I can't for the life of me remember the womans name because I blocked out a lot of my high school years but I remember walking out of the meeting and ignoring all summons' back to her office for a year. I spent most of senior year hanging out in the band room.
Mrs. Olsen, the choir teacher was one of the most bigoted people in OTHS. Her audition to get in chorus was to sing happy birthday, which I did in soprano. I was placed in Soprano section. But anytime I tried out for a soprano solo, I was told I wasn't good enough. Yet I go to college and I'm told that I have a beautiful voice and whoever tried to tear me down by telling me I didn't obviously wasn't looking out for anyone except themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I made friends there. Some of them I still call my friends. Some of them I talk to regularly while others I simply get to watch their lives now through their pictures. It happens. It's life.
I don't go back there much. When I happen to be in NJ, which hasn't happened in almost three years, I don't go into Ocean. I meet my friends at the mall in Eatontown. Not sure if any of my friends really ever noticed that I don't go to Ocean. It took me being an adult and seeing racism outside of Ocean to realize that I grew up with an extreme dose of it. In some way, however, it's made me who I am today and that's both good and bad.
To date of any of my friends that I met when I left Ocean, I am the most unoffendable person I know. You seriously have to go to extreme lengths before I get offended and that in itself is a good and bad thing.
I don't talk about Ocean very much. I don't think the place deserves much of my thoughts and even fewer of my words. It's Ocean. It's a place where not much changes ever and the people go to great lengths to keep it that way, regardless of who they hurt.
I will probably lose friends over this and the article I shared on Facebook. That's fine because the people that know me; actually know me will understand where I am coming from with my opinion. The ones that think I am speaking out of my ass never really knew me in the first place.
