Really that's all I am going to do.
Because if I blog about the poison that's actually in my head right now, it WILL bite me in the ass and right now that's not what I want biting my ass right now.
It was an okay at day at work today. Correction. Until maybe five this afternoon, it was an awesome day. Between five and seven it was a decent day and after seven, aside from the fact that I got to leave early, the day probably couldn't have gone any worse. As a matter of fact, I am pretty certain that there will be some talking done about me that I may have to take a minor ass biting lecture about.
Correction. Another ass biting lecture.
I love my job. There is rarely a but that follows that short sentence but there is ever more and increasing presence of said word nowadays.
I really do love my job. But it's getting harder and harder to work around one person. On good days, around that person, I'm fine. I fool myself into thinking that one day we might reach a level of normalcy that befits, you know actual sane humans. Then on bad days the person makes me alternately want to burst into tears or have to mentally check myself before I wreck myself. Most recently, I've started to realize that the normalcy I want so badly has arrived but in the form of that person being free to say whatever they want to me in the tone that suggests I take a long walk off a short pier, but all I can do is nod and say "okay".
And yes, that is all I can do because if the word vomit that keeps pressing against my lips ever makes it out of my mouth I will be in big trouble. No, let me give that the weight it deserves... BIG TROUBLE.
The holidays are coming up. I need my job. Maybe after the new year, if things aren't any better I will finally give up working with people I have come to love like family and seek employment elsewhere.
But first, I will start paper blogging the word vomit. Like I said, if the word vomit sees daylight, it's going to bite me in the ass.
Odd thought... Maybe I am starting menopause. Maybe that's an explanation for the swirling mass of stupid emotions I have become. WOuld taking hormones and all the stuff a person in menopause has to take help me go back to being on even keel with the world?
Hmmm....
For now, I'm going to keep my mouth shut. And I mean that literally. I am going to keep my mouth shut and not say a word to the person making my life a living hell. Not one word, ever. And I will snap a rubber band on my wrist every time the word vomit presses against my lips.
Now watch that get me in trouble....
FML...FML very much right now. I am so fucked.
good night bloggers. Stay frosty.
