Nothing has really changed in my life. Still no man (I've pretty much given up on that to tell you the truth...), still have an awesome job, and have not yet had a decent night's sleep.
I really honestly thought that blogging about it would help since writing out what's wrong has usually worked in the past but nope. I still feel the bullet, I still feel the car crushing me, and I still wake up shaking, crying, and sweating. I even told my boss about it and he tried his damndest to convince me that it's just a dream. by tried to convince me I mean tried to get it into my subconscious mind because I couldn't get past me feeling it. If I didn't feel it, I would be able to cope a little better. If I didn't have a constant migraine in the exact spot that the bullet hits my head all the time I might be able to convince myself that this is just a dream.
I have to admit, I am almost down to calling Dr. Patel and asking him for a referral to a psychologist... I don't know though... This sounds like one of those dreams that gets you locked up for 72 hours on a psyche watch and or a thorazine drip. The LAST thing I need right now is for medical professionals to think I'm crazy.
Had a bit of a scare yesterday. My neighbor calls and I missed it so I texted her and said I was at work what was up and she responded with CMP which is call me please so I knew it had to be important. My next door neighbor got robbed... again. This is the 3rd time in like three years. On one hand I am so sorry it happened to her, but on another hand that I am keeping behind my back, I am so glad it wasn't me. The first time I got robbed, Randy wanted me to move. The second time I got robbed Randy pretty much demanded I move. I'm pretty sure if I am unlucky again, he will do what he's been threatening to do and tell the courts that I insist on living in a place that is unsafe for his children. You scoff. Yes, he picks and chooses when to act like the concerned dad but the fucker picks and chooses his moments very well.
Sigh... Oh well... It's time to try and get some sleep. I wonder how long I will be able to manage to keep my eyes closed this time. Last night I got about six hours but I got it in 45 minute spurts.
Seriously, I would trade the images in my head for one boring silence anytime...
That's my attempt at being funny.
Goodnight bloggers!!
