So follow up...

Nothing really, just honestly felt like letting the little thoughts out for one last romp before I tuck them into bed. I haven't decided whether I'm going to sing them to sleep with a sleeping pill or with alcohol. Either one will render me incapable of waking up in thye night screaming my fool head off.

What kind of person does this?? There are pictures of my kids all over. Right above the tv are big canvas pics of them. They did this knowing that they were doing this to three kids. What kind of person lives with themselves after that???

And why me? Why only the wii? Why not the remotes? What have I done to make them think this was anywhere near okay? If I had come home instead of staying out would this have happened?

The CSI lady was really nice. She talked and talked and it was like talking to an old friend. She even complimented my jewelry and when I told her she could have any piece she wanted she was over the moon. She even came back like five minutes later and paid me for the bracelet saying it was way too good craftmanship to just give away.

That was nearly my second undoing.

After I boarded up the window, I went into the closet and had a good laugh which in turn led to a good cry and thankfully another good laugh. Don't ask me what I was laughing at, I think it was one of those brain disconnected laughs.

Bloggers I don't know if I can do this anymore. My sanity has always been fragile, I admit that. I've had a few times when the glass tipped over and a few time when the glass just cracked. I am a great patcher. I can fill in the cracks enough to keep trucking. My divorce is a crack I can fill. Everytime I fill what I see, it just gets that much longer. Its like a windsheild crack. Every now and then it just spiders along, growing.

I'm honestly running low on filler at the moment and desperately need to fnd some more. I need more before my glass gives into the cracks and shatters.

Who would pick up the pieces and even try to put them back together?

This is stuff that runs through my head. This is why I blog.

Le sigh.

My time is coming. Everyone keeps telling me so. I am getting tired of waiting, but I'm hanging on.

Terminally Single and Blogging has decided to just go with the sleeping pill. Who needs a depressant right now?

Le sigh...

Why...

As I sit here and watch the police officer drive away without so much as a word to me, I can't help but wonder why me?

Bloggers I got broken into again. I left my house with all doors locked and all windows bolted and came home to find that someone had smashed in my window and come into my house again.

I may or may not have blogged then but it was the day after my birthday and they came in a window that I had mistakenly left unlocked and took my flatscreen tv out of my room. They left a brand new computer on the dining room table as well as a wii upstairs. Cops never figured out who did it. I stopped inquiring after a month.

I came home from Pattys house this afternoon about two fifty and found my bedroom window smashed this time.

What gets me is the person doing this seems to be fucking with me. The last time they robbed me they left a computer. This time they left TWO computers both with flatscreen monitors and went right into my living room and stole the wii. They left the remotes and the nunchucks and the wii fit board. They took the wii, the sensor bar, and the cords. They left through the back door which they had to physically unlock and the alarm on my door went off as soon as it was opened.

I have a bubble of hope however. When they came in my window they dropped something which most definately has a print on it. I won't say what here but its a good clue.

So now I have an open hole in my house that my realty company may charge me to fix and may not but probably won't be able to come out and fix tonight most likely.

You know what bothers me the absolute most, bloggers. The wii was two years old and honestly needed to be replaced but inside the wii was the game wii resorts. My kids pooled their christmas money together to buy that. For the first time in recorded history, they worked together as a unit. It was just that special.

They asked to play wii last night and I told them this weekend they could. Now I feel like worlds biggest douche beccause if I had let them, then they would have had one more night with it.

I don't have the money to replace anything nor do I have the money to fix anything.

I feel like... you know what? For the first time in a long time, bloggers, I feel like a failure. I can't protect my kids or their stuff. I can't move because I have no money and no place to go. And it goes way back. I can't hold/get a man. I can't hold a good job. I just can't.

And right now if randy decided to take my kids I wouldn't even win because I have nothing to offer them but myself and I am a collossal failure at everything I do.

Terminally Single and Blogging is going to go attempt to glue her pieces back together and see if they resemble a human being.