I did three things. Well technically four.
The first I re-arranged my entire living room. NO kidding I did. I know it's really not that exciting an action especially for those people who know I am apt to re-arrange a room simply because I can't find the remote but still it was something I was proud of and I wanted to tell everyone... Now I'm all sad and moody... forget it!! I don't wanna tell anymore...
Sniff...
Okay I'm over it. It looks pretty, so I'm happy.
My second feat today was that I caught a mouse!! A real live mouse. A baby and obscenely easy to catch because the poor little guy was so confused because Mommy is obviously not around to feed him but, still I caught him. For a moment, I was tempted to release him out into the great outdoors particularly around the house of the woman up the street because he was so little but then I remembered the mouse that the boy so kindly let go months ago and how the fucker came back and grew and obviously had babies and I flushed his adorable little tail down the toilet.
The third is that I have now gone basically two whole days without texting to the person I talked about in my other blog. If you didn't read it, don't worry about it, it's not important. The fact that I have not actually picked up the phone to say hello is awesome to me. I means I have will power.
Now the fourth is a little tricky. IDK if anyone remembers it but a few weeks ago I had a little issue with my ex husbands girlfriends mother wanting to be called grandmother. I had it posted on facebook and even before that I had a blog about it. The blog was forgettable because it was just an irk then the Facebook status was deleted because I was potty mouthed for no good reason... (it was NOT deleted because I didn't like what people had commented on it. I don't actually give a rats turd what people think of this particular situation because it's a very personal one that isn't going to be and cant be changed by peoples opinions of it.) But, it's whatever.
The situation is as thus: The ex's girlfriend's mother wants my children to call her G'ma. Short for grandmother or whatever. Most people don't have a problem with something like that but you see most people didn't go through what I did. The girlfriend wrote letters to a married man. She slept with a legally married man, and lived with him when he was still legally married. An adulterer is an adulterer is an adulterer. You can dress them up however you want but the shit still stinks. Part of our divorce agreement was that the ex not have her anywhere around my children. I don't trust her character and don't want her set up as any kind of example to my kids good or bad. The ex ignored my wishes and had her living with him in VA when he had my kids and I reminded him of that agreement then. His response was to tell the kids to not talk about what goes on in Daddy's house. Then he moved down to NC to live with her. And despite every hard hearted part in my body I let the kids visit because the alternative was making him come down here each and every time to see his kids which if you ever met him, you would know that it would eventually turn bad for my kids.
The first time my kids came home and called the girlfriends sister their new aunt I corrected them gently and told them that her family is not their family save the child that she and their father had together. The next time they came home they sat in front of my mother and told them all about their new grandmother. If you had seen the hurt in my mother face when they said that, you would have wept. It was bad and reminded them that their father's girlfriend's family was not their family. And I suggested that they call her Mrs. J. It was respectful as well as slightly personal. I also asked the ex to relay the message that I didn't want her to have my children call her grandma because she wasn't. He said he would but he also said it in that dismissive tone that he gets when he just wants me to shut up.
There were no more occurrences of mentioning that family again until the other day when I open my mailbox and find that each of the children have gotten a letter from the girlfriend's mother. This was actually fine with me until I noticed that she signed each and every one of them "Love G'ma"
I got past the fact that she spoke in her letter to my children like they were he blood grandchildren and to be honest that kinda of touched me a little. But the fact that she still wants to be called Gma after I expressly asked she not ground my gears all the way down to the bone. I mean ground them, broke them, and scattered the dust.
So I called the ex. On one phone, no answer. On the other cell phone I left a message. I even waited a day for him to get the message. I have heard nothing. So I did what probably should have done in the first place. I sat down and I wrote the mother a letter.
It took a little while and more than a few drafts to work out my anger on paper from the written steel toed kick in the face it started out to be to the explanative missive it ended up as, but I'm more than sure it's going to cause a Shitstorm of a monstrous proportion. I'm sure that she's going to tell the girlfriend who is going to in turn call the ex, who is going to in turn call me. I am going to hold to my guns, however. I tried to do this the coochy coochy way. I really tried. Bloggers I even hel my tounge when the girlfriend called me a year ago and told me that no matter how we met, we all have children by my ex and we need to be one big family that gets along. I made a comment about a certain religion back then that I based on a television show that I was fond of but I offended someone who set me straight. I will not make that mistake again. But regardless, we are not a big family. OUr kids belong to an ever growing family of people who think that no matter if you stood before god or judge to pledge your life to someone it's okay to go out and procreate with someone without the need of getting rid of the person you swore to be with.
What?? You think that it was just me that my ex did this to? No his grandfather did it to his grandmother, his father did it to his mother and he did it to me. I can't speak for the son he has with the girlfriend but I can assure you my son will not step into his fathers shoes and continue the tradition.
So I know that some people out there will tell me to chill out or calm down and or ask what is the big deal. The big deal is that I have different character standards than that of other families and in my upbringing you don't mix shit with sugar. This meaning, if she had slept with him, lived with him, and had a baby with him AFTER we were divorced instead of being one of the major reasons we got divorced I would have no problem with her or her family wanting to be apart of my kids life. I still wouldn't like the whole G'ma thing but it wouldn't grind my gears so badly. But the fact remains that she was a major player in my divorce and the events that led up to it. She did sleep with my husband before he was my ex husband, and she did have a baby by him when he was still legally married. Three of us caused the home my children knew and the life they lived to be uprooted. I admit that. I also know that even though the split and divorce would have most likely happened had she not entered the picture it wouldn't have been so nasty. HE and I had our differences and they were bound to end the marriage that actually never should have been but her presence in the whole debacle made it so much worse that a part of me will never ever forgive either one of them.
Like I said. my feelings can't be and won't be changed by what others say or think. This is very personal to me and as you are entitled to your opinions, I am not bound to change mine because of yours. Apologies if that sounds harsh but oh well.
So that's my day. The thoughts are off and running in the blog yard. Have a good night!!
More scattered thoughts from a highly unorganized mind another time!!
