You know I really thought that I had gotten this off my mind when I put it as my status a couple of weeks ago... But no matter what I do, I can't shake the thought that until she knows what she did to me, the offending person and her act of unfriendship will continue to affect me...
So a couple of weeks ago, My mom calls me and says, Did you know that Andrea is pregnant? I responded no but then I had taken her off my Facebook last October. Whether she knew or cared that I had was beyond me. I remember posting that my mom had just told me my best friend of twenty plus years was sixteen weeks pregnant on my Facebook and I truly thought that I would be able to forget it.
But I can't.
Okay, fine, you either don't know or don't care that I deleted you from my Facebook. You never thought of me after I moved, and after you called me out on Facebook for deleting a post that you had commented on thinking that I deleted it because you disagreed with me, when in reality I deleted it because I was foul mouthed in the original comment and retrospect caused me to realize that it was uncalled for. And You didn't seem to care when I began to delete the "friends" you introduced me to that never ever talked to me or even said hello.
But we were friends for 22 years and you didn't even bother to text me and tell me that you were pregnant?!? Seriously?? That's like walking up to me under pretense of hugging me and then planting a knife right into my heart. I could forgive and even try to forget that you blocked me from seeing pictures that I was in on your Facebook and that for a month I was stuck looking at your info page because you had blocked me from seeing any of your posts, but disregarding a 22 year friendship and not even telling me that you were expecting. Low blow.
Regardless of the status of our online friendship, I would have never done that to you. It was wrong, it was crass, and above all, now I know that we aren't even friends anymore.
Very well, I can take a very unsubtle hint when it's thrust in my face. You chose your brand new non colored friends over our childhood friendship and relegated me to that dusty corner of your basement that never gets looked at. Your actions just told me that what I thought was our friendship is officially over.
Whew! Got that out of my system. The question is, since I KNOW she doesn't read my blog, should I email this to her (A cleaner less acerbic version of course) or should I let this be the end of it. And never think of her again and let her keep thinking that I'm still the ever patient Claudette sitting there waiting for her to notice me?
Sigh...
The sad thing is, IF my senior class ever has a 20 year reunion, I would want to go and she might be there as well. I tend to hold onto things like this and stick them in my hair so that the ire never goes away. What would I do if she came up to me and hugged me? Would I hug her back and smile in her face or would I knock her away and treat her as badly as she's treated me? I guess time will tell really.
Hopefully now that I've blogged about it, I can forget it and move on.
I really hope I can forget her the way she has me... But dammit 22 yrs of friendship meant something to me. Obviously more than it did to her so it hurts so bad it's almost a physical hurt...
Sigh...
