I guess...

I was meant to be bored with life after all... The guy i met either isnt used to talking to women and therefore is as uncommunicative as I am or has already lost interest. Whatever. I find the giggly feeling has mysteriously slipped away so all I feel is indifference. I'm not an expert but I'm pretty sure thats not good for any relationship if after less than twenty four hours of no communication the only feeling I can work up is indifference...

I still have hopes though. Hes a nice looking guy and maybe something might come of it. He says he doesnt mind that i have kids and he doesnt seem to want any of his own if he doesnt already have some but I wonder if his bubble (if there is indeed one) will be burst when he finds out that I couldnt have anymore kids without a medical miracle. Few men wants a woman like that now adays and I've come to the conclusion that when I had myself, for lack of a better word, fixed, i fixed myself for a life of singlehood. If I could go back about nine years ago and tell myself that my marriage wasnt going to last and there would be very little sex after Olivia so no chance of getting pregnant again so there was no reason to have such a drstic thing done.

No sense trying to change the past with wishes though.

I need something to do. At this point I'd almost be willing to do the blind date thing.

Well back to the grind. Or rather non grind. Theres nothing to doo here at all...

Single and blogging is terminally that indeed...

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