I'm so sick of the lies...
So okay I'm just venting... there's no need for anyone to comment or actually read this...
I have reached my limit. I'm done. At this point, I just want to throw my hands in the air and say screw it all.
I no longer believe that I am going to find any happiness. I don't. I can't.
You know everyone tells you the same bullshit lie that if you just get out there, you'll meet someone. I know that lie very well, I've heard it about ninety MILLION times now and you know what it ranks right up there with my ex husbands line, "I care about you." with my all time most hated sayings.
It's bullshit. All of it. You have to go out somewhere to meet people. You have to have the means to go somewhere to meet people. But you can't go anywhere to meet anyone if you can't get to where the people are. I have two and a half weeks left before my kids come home and what the hell have I done this summer but become the crazy cat lady who has deep meaningful conversations with her cat and played Gourmet Ranch so much that my day actually revolves to some point around when my dishes/crops are ready. I've managed to knock out six seasons of Nip/Tuck in what? Four days? I have learned that there are medical procedures out there that I didn't know existed. A couple of them I would actually want but that's not the point. I know McNamara/Troy better than they know themselves at the moment and you know what? That actually sickens me.
So I guess everyone needs a moment when they say fuck it and just forget it all. I'm going to clean my house from top to freaking bottom and them since my mom, Angel that she is, has agreed to pay for me to see Harry Potter, I'm going to treat myself. And then, I think I'm going to get back into my jewelry making so aside from the loss of my belief in love or actual happiness I will have a clean house and a few new sets of jewelry to collect dust on my wall to show for it.
I so can't wait to get my car. I need it so badly that it's becoming more than something that I want. I need to get out of this house. I need to get a job or go to school I need to meet people that aren't little facebook pictures to me.
I need to scream out loud and seriously get a fucking life!
Terminally Single and Blogging is going to sign off now... I've vented. I'm not empty but I've unloaded some of my rage for the moment.
