You may or may not have noticed that my blog is now private. Only people that I have given permission to can come in a read. This is because I have finally decided that not everyone needs to know all about me. And those that I make the mistake of thinking are my friends are sometimes kamikaze soldiers in disguise. Case in Point my ex friend Michelle.
She is the one that told me flat out that I deserve everything I am going through with my son. NO more will be said.
As for the boy, I am having another ripple in my serenity pond with him.
I did a random book bag search on him yesterday morning. I found that he was trying to take his sketch books to school as well as a pink DS. Why can't we stop taking rides on the Nintendo sponsored merry go round?? Long story short, he claims it belongs to his friend Joaquim. Said friend came to the door today and I asked him why he would have a pink DS? HE responded that it's his cousin's. Of course he looked to the left and stuttered making me think back to Psychology 101. I believe he's lying. The again, I'm kinda apt to not believe any male right now. I also asked him how long ago he gave it to Jovaughn. He stuttered, looked at Jovaughn and scrunched up his face saying about... last Tuesday. The girls said he had a pink DS last month and said he had had one for awhile now.
So I tripped the boy up and told him that I am only going to give it to his parents and he needs to bring his mother or father to my door to get the DS back. If he doesn't bring his parent back to me, I will know that Jovaughn cooked up this story to get me to give the DS to his friend so he could get it back. I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.
His father was supposed to call last night. As much as I say Randy and I don't get along, he really is one of the few males in my life that can keep me from flying off my proverbial handle. He knows what to do and say every time and when he doesn't he lets me rant. After the rant he has a general idea of what to say and he says it. When he didn't call last night there was no buffer between the boy and I. With no buffer, the boy said something and walked around like he was the one that had the right to be hurt and I snapped.
And then I cried. And then I snapped again.
I wanted to take a slow walk into the middle of the highway that runs not too far from my house. I just felt bad and as usual I asked for help on my facebook. I said and I quote "I need a reason NOT to get drunk tonight." and not one person said a word for hours until Shawna. She texted me back down to where I could at least touch my feet to the ground. And as of last night, I honest to God Thank GOD for her. Because I honestly would have done something very drastic last night. I was feeling just that bad.
You probably didn't notice but I took a little bit of a break there. I was actually gone for like four hours. Mom nd I are taking a sign language class at the church up the road from me. Well actually I should say the Big church. Everyone in the area would know that I mean Friendship. They freaking take up both sides of the road. They have the little church on one side, (And the little church is bigger than the medium sized church I go to now.) and the BIG church which just for reference you can see from the highway from at least two miles away on a clear day... Yeah it's that big. Their chor practices in a room that's so freaking huge I'm pretty sure Jay-Z would walk in and go "Damnnnnn!!!" Well he might not say Damn cause after all, it is a church.
I got back and my guitar and game had gotten here. I love the UPS man now. He doesn't know it, but I love him. I also love Amazon. Amazon rocks. Amazon could be my bosom buddy that gives me a kidney. Yeah, it's like that.
So at the moment, I am going to go immerse myself in Rock band. IF you don't hear from me for a few days that's why but I can still be reached by text.
Love and hugs guys. Hope you all have happy dreams.
