So it was suggested that for my J blog, I discuss my mom, Justine. But I had my doubts. Then I thought, well maybe and I jokingly brought it up to my mom. She pointed out that with thirty four year of knowledge on this subject plus the combine sum of twenty years of stories about her past, I would be blogging until I was 25 for the fifteenth time.
And then a curious thing happened. My ex-husband called and I happened to think about Katie's suggestion that I talk about Jackasses. Hmmmmm.... release some tension, and knock out a J blog all at the same time? Don't mind if I do...
So jackasses...
To tell you the truth I wish that the jackasses and the stupid people in the world had just been born with a big blinking light on their foreheads so that we could just drown them and go about our business... I mean really how much better would the world be if all the stupid people and all the people that would grow up to be jackasses were drowned at birth. I can't help but think there would be nobody left because let's face it, everyone is considered a jackass by someone. The nicest person in the world has someone that has jumped on their last nerve so much that they lost it and became a jackass for even a moment.
Everyone.
I have enough jackasses in my life to fill Giants Stadium. People who have been jackasses from day one and people who his their jackassery behind people I want to know for awhile.
Most of the boys I went to elementary school with are in the retrospect jackass group. When I was a kid, they were just kids like me. When I got away from them, they were people I went to school with. When we all grew up and some of us reconnected on Facebook or Myspace, some of them were just plain jackasses. Mostly the guys. Not the girls really.
Middle school, hmmmm. Well that's the second third of the stadium. For starters there was the little white boy that turned and looked at me as I walked into Ocean Township Intermediate School that very first day and then turned to his friend and said. "They let these niggers everywhere..." Pretty much set the tone for most of my Ocean township years. Then there's one girl I can place in that group. Heather Harper. OMG, she didn't even hide her jackassery. Girl friend got on the bus that first day of middle school and sat on my lunch and said something about me being new and she would lead me right. She stank to high hell but you know what. This chick was my friend from fifth grade to tenth. Some jackasses can't be avoided and can actually make decent friends, even when you know they are jackasses.
High school jackasses and 90% boys. Freshman year Jesse became a jackass. Actually most of the drum section really. And a few of the sax section. And clarinet... Sophomore year a guy named Ben put one foot in the circle. He wouldn't actually become an inductee until years later. Junior year the class president joined the ranks. Senior year the drum section renewed their membership as well as a guy named Mered. Hell most of the guys did but that was a one sided totally biased placement because I had crushes on most of them and they treated me like what I was. The fat black girl that stuck out like a sore thumb in whatever circle she was in.
Pretty much everything with a penis joined the ranks in college and a good number of the girls. Adulthood has it's fair share but whatever, they are faceless in the ranks.
My x husband has until recently, stepped in and out of the ring o' jackasses several times off and on. He'd be unbelievably shitty and then he'd be unbelievably nice. Wash rinse repeat. For the longest time he was actually on his way out of the crowd. I mean seriously out. And then he moved to Charlotte. A move, I am sorry to say, I helped facilitate. Then he walked up to the dais and took the crown away from whoever in my past had it at the time. I mean kicked them off the thrown and just sat down. He is the king.
I may or may not have blogged about it, but recently, my x decided that I was a crappy mother and that being with me was an endangerment to our girls. He filed for sole custody of them and decided that I could have them on the weekends. He decided that since I don't follow his rules in my home and that when with him, he has to train the girls to his rules every time they come over, I was not doing a good job as a mother. He decided that because my oldest daughter is slightly overweight, I needed to restrict her meals and learn to cook like him. It was a whole lot of things but like I said basically he decided I was a eff up of a mother.
Like I said. Jackass. King.
He says his main complaint is that I don't talk to him. He can never have a conversation with me. I say the problem is that he rates me below a telemarketer when it comes to returning phone calls and texts. And sadly enough this also extends to our daughters. He sees my number come up and he sends them to voicemail. Which crushes them. Which causes them to not want to call him. So then he calls and complains that their fingers must be broken because they never call him. Which puts them on a slight guilt trip. Which makes them call. He sees the number and sends them to voicemail. It's a vicious cycle.
I actually had round, i don't know, five hundred and twenty nine of the "you're a jackass, and I'm done" talk with him tonight.
But I'm sitting here with a good book and a Kahlua milkshake and I'm thinking, I'm going to have a good day. May not have a good week next week, but tonight? Tonight is mine and I'm going to make it good.
So blog bloggity blog blog.
I'm always asking for comments. Here's your chance. Tell me a story about your King/Queen Jackass.
