First off let me start with a little bit of a gripe... If I make Chocolate chip cookies and follow the nestle toll house recipe, my cookies come out flat and they don't taste that great. If I follow the Ghirardelli recipe they come out all nice and fluffy. Dude, WTF?? I guess I'll know which recipe I'll be following from now on...
So as usual the holiday bring madness and rushing and general crankiness. I'm rushing because I have no time. When I have time, I have no money, and when I have money and time I have zero motivation. The holidays aren't what they used to be for me. See I was an only child growing up. I was my moms only so Christmas time was when the little spoiled girl got to be even more spoiled. I remember the year my mom sat up al night trying to figure out how to connect my brand new NES to the television. Six AM couldn't come fast enough. When I was in high school I honestly don't remember any Christmas gifts I got. I know at one point I got a computer but I'm not sure if that was Christmas or what. I used the hell out of windows paint though. Remember that program? It was awesome. I think I mostly got clothes during my high school years. Why? I don't know. I wore two things. Denim and my band uniform. Pretty much that was it. College don't remember the gifts I got Freshman year. I mostly wanted to sleep. My Sophomore year, they weren't so much Christmas gift than Wedding/ Baby gifts. After that Christmas gifts for me? Are you kidding, hell no. That year I had one baby, the following year I had two babies and the year after that... I had three babies. My family was so busy outfitting the kids that I was often left with a pair of slippers of a nightgown so I came to appriciate the little things. Hell year I would take that nightgown! It signified that one day soon, I might actually be able to wear it for a whole hour without a baby spitting up on it or throwing baby food at it and that one day oh praise Jesus I might get to ... sleep in it.
As my kids got older, I came to look for the... and I'm sorry to call it this but there really isn't any other word... crap that they made at school and brought in the ten cent santa store that came to school. I had beads and baubles and macaroni hand sculptures... The list was endless and I loved every single one of them.
But the Holidays as a single mom are way different. Every year I have no money. Every year I scrounge around for at least something to put under the tree. Two years ago I asked for donations because I was sick of my kids never having a good Christmas from Mommy. I was sick of every year, Daddy going out and outdoing anything I could possibly do by a million miles.
And then there's the fact that I only enjoy every other holiday because I only have my kids every other holiday. I have them this year. So this year I love the decorate and bake for others and to make other happy. Next year, Oh I'll be a true to heart grinch next year. (I will also hit the after Christmas day sale and get the best presents at half off and wrap them like a pro and make them look like they've been there all along.)
THis year, I'm working but instead of being able to save up money for gifts, I've been doing the responsible parent thing and paying the bills. Paying them so well that nothing has been turned off but at the same time, the holiday fund is just not there. I get paid on Friday. On Friday, I have to go out and get gifts for my mom, my aunt, and all three of my kids. Oh yeah, plus Olivia's birthday is Friday. I have already ordered her necklace Hopefully it will be here by Thursday night.
My kids are awesome though. They know that there may be little under the tree from Mommy at Christmas but Taxmus is always just around the corner.
Never heard of Taxmus? That's when mommy gets her income tax refund and they get the stuff they really want. LIviy wants a new bed and bedspread. Kayla wants a purple headboard for her bed. I think LIvy might get her bedspread for Christmas and I will hit the yard sales and restore for Kay;as headboard and maybe I can sand it and paint it and decorate it maybe paint some flowers or something. I'll figure it out. It will be nice.
So this year, I think I am going to get Kayla supplies for Gods eyes or some kit, Livy will get her bedspread for her bed that she'll be getting in February. I might get the boy a few tee shirts from Walmart. Something that fits him. Mommy wants a new housecoat. I have no clue whatsoever what to get my aunt. I think I will search the bookstores and find something along the ways of a new and interesting bible that I'm pretty sure she doesn't have. Maybe I can find an autographed copy. Pretty sure that's about the ONLY bible she doesn't have... I am so screwed.
I will find something. Maybe I... no.
Oh well, I will figure out something. let the holiday madness continue...
