A new page in the Hut of Drama

So today, Mother’s Day.  Happy one to anyone mother reading.  My very first communication was "Happy Mother’s Day can you come in early so I can leave?"

Two hours with my kids.  That’s all I got.

Get here and by three fifteen I was by myself and slaying it out.  At ten to five one of my drivers says he’s going to be fifteen late but I couldn’t respond because I was literally by myself in here.  The cook, who lives with aforementioned driver, comes in and says that driver said he doesn’t feel well and he’s not coming in.  If I/ we have a problem with it, we can call him about it.  I passed the message onto my boss.

Idk what happened between them but driver then comes up in here pissed off and seeing red wanting to know where the manager that asked me to come in early is.  I told him she left between two thirty and three.  He said alright, pushed past me and walked out.

Y’all I don’t know what about to go down in my hut but if this is the last time I post know it was probably because I knifed him for coming at me.  I’m not planning it but no one is going to come at me intent on harm.

But at the same time I am actually scared that he might come back up here.  I have minors in here.  Hell I have my DAUGHTER in here.  I will protect them.

On another note. I purchased 1000mg cbd oil the other day.  It says it can help with a whole bunch of things including depression.  We’ll see if it works.  Maybe this can help

Pull me out of this hole I’m in.

God I hope he doesn’t come back up here tonight.  I don’t wanna go to jail.  Orange is soooo not my color.  And handcuffs hurt like hell.

I really need to quit this job...

Soul catching

So today was surprisingly not a seriously awful no good very bad day.  I mean it wasn’t jump up and rejoin life on Facebook because I’m suddenly happy good but it was a "maybe I’ll think twice about walking out into rush hour traffic" good.

That’s something.... right??

Maybe it was because I got to spend a good hour or so on the road taking deliveries.  I got to breathe fresh air, I got to listen to my music and drive fast.

Maybe that’s what I need?  Maybe it’s being cooped up in the store all day long that’s killing my soul?  And maybe it’s coworkers who think entirely too highly of themselves.

We have this one guy.  He swears he’s trying to be a shift leader.  That would be good if he weren’t one of those stand on your soapbox and scream until you think people are finally paying attention to you kind of people.  He actually got high and or drunk one night and called me at two am to rant about shit.

Because calling your boss at two am is totally acceptable.  Totally.

Not.  Not in any existence is that remotely okay to do.  

And every other shift or lately every single shift he either doesn’t feel well or is still hurt from an accident a few weeks ago or some other excuse and has to leave.  Making our delivery times through the roof and usually putting more work into the other drivers and the managers because we now have to deal with the angry customers who want to scream at us because delivery is so long.

PSA: don’t scream at the people who handle your food.  I’m not saying we will do something to it but do you really want to live with the thought in the back of your mind that maybe they might have done something to it because you were a total bitch on the phone?  I mean... unless it’s a totally open kitchen you don’t see everything...

*shrugs and walks away* Your choice.

I still think this store is slowly and piece by piece stealing my soul and selling to the highest bidder but I’ve got news for them... I signed a contract with the devil years ago.  He owns the soul.  I think I sold it for my divorce... or a chocolate bar.  I didn’t really read the fine print.

I’m still considering other jobs.   I’m always considering other jobs.  Most specifically jobs that allow me a half a chance of moviing to England one day.

I wish I knew why the two times I was in England  my spirit felt like it had finally come home and the two times I flew away from England my spirit curled up in a corner and cried.

I’d ask if any of you ever felt that way but no one 

Ugh...

There is a fundamental disconnect in this place.  There has to be because NOBODY is happy at the same time here.  Nobody.

One week my boss isn’t happy.  The next week the cook isn’t happy.  That same week one of my drivers is pissed off and the customers are bastards.

This place is stealing my joy.  Customers scream at me for shit that is not my fault.  Drivers tell me what they are going to do and in the case of one particular driver not only what he is going to to buy what I am going to as well.  Today my shift leader who was supposed to leave at four decided at two thirty to go on the road with her girlfriend leaving me in the store.  Then she came in and clocked out early without turning over the register so I had to clock her back in to turn over the till.  

At least the dm asked me how I was doing today.  I suppose that makes up for last week when she completely ignored me when this store was in danger of being burnt down by a very psychotic assistant manager who was going to throw her shirt on the flames and dance a merry jig...

And it’s quiet.  So there’s that.  

So I’m standing here about to go back to folding boxes because that’s something to do.  While my driver who is supposed to be either doing boxes or dishes sits on his ass and eats a pizza he made without paying for it.  Cause yeah.  Oh wait... nope he just walked out to the parking lot...

I will not let this place steal my joy...

I will not let this place steal my joy...

I will not let this place steal my joy...

I will not let this place steal my joy...

Maybe if I keep chanting it, I’ll believe it one day...

Doubt it.