So this afternoon my boss was a little upset and threw a pizza pan at the wall.
You have no idea how badly I wish I could have done that and gotten away with it. I was so freaking jealous. All I could do today was cry.
The hooptie tried really REALLY hard not to make it out of the month of May alive but I pulled her into June and refused to let her die. Down to putting a foil pan under her at night to catch the oil that dripped out and putting it back in. Even down to carrying TWO of the $17 jugs of oil in my car so that I could give her a drink on the fly if she happened to yell at me.
Little bitch got thirsty TWICE in the space of about thirty minutes. Had to stop on the way to one delivery and put oil in and then had to stop on the way back from another delivery.
So I called my mom and asked her to find that Triple G Mechanic on Freedom that has a sign right outside of Pinky's because they say they specialize in Volkswagens. Yeah... They don't exist anymore and if they do they are playing one hell of a game of Hiding go Neverfind! So then I decided to called EuroWise, the place that I took it when it had the smoking problem before. The place that cost my mother and my ex husband a total of a grand to fix her before.
For a cracked oil pan on a 2001 Volkswagen Passat Wagon, they wanted $486 dollars to fix it. Four hundred dollars?!?!? I mean really???? And is the part that I'm going to get made of solid gold and will it help my car to fart rainbows and glitter at the cars behind it?? Cause that would, admittedly, be cool. I mean think of it, everytime I hit the gas, Glitter flew out at the person behind me.... I'd so go to jail... Whatever, that's besides the point. Four hundred dollars to change and oil pan. Nope, sorry. My mom found a place that she used to go a while back. He's closed and grand opened a few times but the man is a mason and she's an Eastern Star and in the grand order of Black Fraternal Orders that makes them sister and brother and they watch each other's back and yada yada blah blah yay! He recommended that I have it towed to him but the cheapest tow we could find was $76 and I don't have that in my wallet. Or the bank. Cause you know Hooptie just couldn't wait until Payday... in two effing days.
And that was a topper on my shitcake day actually. I was woken up this morning by my mom who was woken up by my aunt to be told that Auntie was lost on the highway up near my job when she should have been down by where I live. Mom told her to go to Remount Rd and work her way to South Blvd because they were both familiar with that road. Here's problem number one with that. She bypassed home TWICE to get to where Remount Rd was. The Second problem with that is that there is no exit for Remount Rd. on 77 southbound, so Auntie found herself almost in South Carolina before she turned around. Had my brain been awake at seven am I would have said the later. But my brain was tap dancing to a routine of "Why the hell am I awake and walking around and talking on the phone?" So when Mommy called back at 8 to tell me Auntie had gotten caught up in morning traffic and noticed Tyvola Road and had gotten off there to find South Blvd my mind was actually awake to ask Why considering that BOTH Tyvola and South would have been jammed packed at 8 am as they are major roadways. but Mom said that's what Auntie said she was doing because she recognized Tyvola having passed it on South the day before... And the day before. I told her that Auntie should have taken John Belk Freeway. To which my mom replies "I don't know what that is,so I'm not going to tell her to take a road that I've never taken."
My sarcasm switch doesn't have a playground monitor at eight AM so my response was "Mom, John Belk Freeway is 277. You travel it almost every day..." In a deadpan.
So that dealt with, I got off the phone and had to call the Ex because the child support is going to be late...again. which is going to make my rent late... again. Seriously I just go ahead and pay the late fee as apart of my rent every month now anyway. Why bother trying to be ontime? It's like trying to staple jelly to the wall. Admittedly, the voicemail message I left him was not very nice but I wasn't feeling nice. It's not like I call him to shoot the shit and ask about his day. I couldn't care less if he had the day from hell and back again, He's not my husband, so I don't give a fuck I really don't. He has an overgrown child he calls a girlfriend to listen to his BS.
He called me back at work. While I was having a shitty day. The conversation went something like this:
R: "I called you the other day. I called you on the house phone; the kids phone. You didn't answer."
C: "And then God looked down and said, let there be cell phones, nimrod!"
R: "Oh well, you know I was in class. I can't call you back or answer in class."
C: "On Sunday. You were in class on Sunday."
R: "Yeah."
C "All day, because I'm pretty sure that it's illegal to have class for a solid 24 hours."
R."What are you talking about?"
C: "You could have called at any time of the day."
R: "Oh. Well I got busy and then I forgot."
C : "Translation, my whiney ass girlfriend noticed that it was you calling and pitched a fit and took my attention every time I got the chance to call you and when she finally let up, I forgot to call."
R : "You're not having a good day, are you?"
C: "YOU THINK?!?!?" (Yes I screamed that.) "Look I don't call you to shoot the shit. And your bitch ass GF better understand that if I say I need for you to call me back and I tell you WHY I need you to call me back then she needs to let you call me back or you need to grow a pair and tell her to shut the fuck up. Or you can shoot me a text to answer my question AS LONG AS YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT I HAVE ASKED YOU TWO FUCKING DAYS IN A ROW."
R: "Uhm... okay. Well, It should be there by Tomorrow or Friday. If it isn't there by Friday let me know."
C: And you had better answer or text me back because if the lights get cut off because of you I will run up and down you with a lawnmower."
R:" Damn, what is wrong with you?"
C: "Do you mean the part where I got woken up this morning, the part where my car is dying again, or a couple days ago when I was told by your mom that she is moving right up the street from my job and that she hinted in less words that anything that she was looking forward to ME bringing her pizza from my job which meant she wants to abuse the fuck out of my discount."
R: "*Laughs* You work way up there? I feel sorry for you!"
At this point I actually started growling. Like big black bear growling. He decided to take his remaining skin and get off the phone. I never said I married the smartest tool in the shed.
It was around EuroWise telling me that they wanted 486 dollars to fix my car that I lost it all and started crying.
John even was concerned but I walked outside and prayed to every God I knew that he wouldn't be the one to see me cry. It was bad enough that he had to see me cry when I was in pain and he drove me to the hospital. I Do not like to have people see me when I can't control my world. Being in Mind numbing pain and having no control of the moisture leaking from my eyes or the moans coming from my mouth was NOT how I wanted him to ever see me. EVER. Seeing me lose it over my car, my ex husband, and loss of sleep was even worse because to me, losing it and crying over that was a bitch move on my part and I have no one to blame but hormones. It's coming up on Chocolate munching time so my hormones are all over the place and even standing in front of a fan on high speed, I was boiling up today.
Why can't I be a man? Seriously. A few Yanks on their cock and everything is peachy fucking keen in their world. Women have to deal with hormones and hot flashes and shit that makes us cry uncontrollably for no freaking reason!!!
Damn you Eve!!!
You have NO IDEA how much I wish I could have thrown that pizza pan across the room today and gotten away with it. None whatsoever. None at all. If I had done it, I'd probably be fired.
Sigh... Kids are in bed, I'm going to crawl in and maybe read The Mortal instruments. It's been a few days since I did that.
Stay frosty, kiddos. Lova ya!
