... But it sure is hell picking spaces to shine down here in the Queen City. Aside from the obvious historical reason, I still have yet to reason out why they stick to that ridiculous nombe de plume. The only thing queen about this city is the ever so sweet but much in need of a serious makeover drag queens (Think "To Wong Foo" but somehow the mirror they were looking in was a funhouse mirror) and the self deigned divas that think they should be crowned Queen, the name really is stupid.
If you haven't noticed I haven't actually managed to be in one of those spots where the effing sun is shining.
So the other night, I got called a Lazy Fuck by my ex husband. I will forever thank John for being there to talk me back down to where the humans are that night but you know what? It kinda hurts that he's the only one. I have mass amounts of "Friends" but out of all them, he's the only one that bothered to take the time to ask me how I'm feeling.
So today, I went and filed for child support since "it" has decided to act like I'm the money grubbing bitch in his life.
I'm not going to detail about that somewhat hellacious hour of my life but suffice to say, I have more than a pretty good feeling that this is going to end up in court and I'm going to have to walk a test of fire.
I don't like fire. I live a fight fire with fire kind of life and unfortunately in order for me to fight this test of fire, I'm going to have to find another dousing agent.
I'm tired, bloggers. I am tired, and worn out.
Did you ever have one of those days where even though you know there's someone out there that actually does give a fuck about you, they are just out of reach and the people who you thought were holding your hand have attached a ghostlike dummy to you and walked away letting you think they are still there? I kinda feel like that. I know that besides my mom there is someone out there that gives a fuck but I still feel adrift.
Today is one of those straws that's making it so the camel has a hard time walking.
I don't get it. I really don't.
On a side note, I have come to the conclusion that I am the friend that everyone dumps problems on but on those few times when I have a problem that cracks my "I'm happy" veneer, not one of those people who dumped their problems on my mind has the time to hold an umbrella for someone outside of their own thunderstorm. This is actually a conclusion I came to a long time ago but something that happened recently affirmed it.
Again.
So I'm going to to shellack my veneer again and stuff all of the problems back inside the heavy door with the big DO NOT ENTER sign stuck on it.
This was not a good time to give up caffeinated soda.
IT's a good thing I didn't promise coffee...
Terminally Single and Blogging is just... fuck it... it's not worth it.
