Can the rain please stop now???

So we are four days into January and the rain has literally stopped raining for maybe half a day total.  And this is ongoing from 2018.  Like over 100 inches of rain has fallen in the last thirty days and I'm pretty sure if mother nature was trying to drown the eastern part of the country, she's succeeding brilliantly.

I didn't blog yesterday because nothing really significant happened.  I lost a client because she needs a CNA and I don't have that.  But I didn't get fired, they just removed me from the case with a pending status of if they were even going to keep the case.  I feel bad though.  Her son was nice and if he would just gdo the lifting, I would happily do the washing and the grooming and dressing.   And I hate getting up at the crack of dawn and I hate going to bed early so that I can be human in those early hours but i didn't mind going to her.BUt she's completely immobile on one side so she needs a more experienced person and I'm okay with that.

Then I inevitably ended up back at the hut a few times last night because if it can go wrong with the GM is away it will go wrong.  But whatever.  Then i came home and had some tequila rose.  Not a lot but enough that I didn't want to get on Blogger and more than likely whine about what a loser I feel like because I'm still Single.

This year is about being social.  I'm going to hang out with friends, I'm going to make new friends and expand my circle.  I am not going to sit home and watch Hulu and Netflix all night .

I am also not going to make the mistake I made on the second.  I'm not going to talk about the one that got away or rather, the one that never was.  One of the things I got to thinking about last night was I feel like I'm in love with him but in the past five years he hasn't said hello to me, he hasn't wished me a happy birthday, although I do every year, and the only times he's  If I'm going to be in love with him, fine.  That's something I'm going to hold deep inside of me until someone that actually cares for me comes along and burns his name from my heart, but I'm not going to lower myself to wishing and hoping that one day he rides up on a white horse and holds out his hand for me.

Tomorrow I go see Mrs. H and then I'm off to the Hut of Pizza.  I actually like being back at the penitentiary.  unlike Prosperity there's never any time to just chill and deal with BS.  You deal with it on your feet.

Well in the essence of keeping my post short and to the point, I'm off for the night. 

Till tomorrow or the day after.

Happy New Year, I guess...

So I'm not making a resolution or anything (because if you know me, making a resolution is the quickest way to get me to stop doing something) But I'm trying this out to see if I can see how much I change over the course of a year.

I thought about actually writing it down in a book but then, I thought, nah...

So Jan1...

I officially took off the fake wedding ring.  I took it off and set it on the shelf and I think it about it often.  Like at least once every few hours I look at or feel my ring finger where it was for over two years.

At first I was wearing it because it made the men at the Hut stop flirting with me.  Like armor I guess.  Whatever, it worked and the old fugly guys that batted their geriatric eyes at me stopped. 

In a way I feel like it was armor to protect myself from looking at other guys too.

I'm going to say it.  I have been in love with a friend of a friend for almost 8 years.  He's on my Facebook and I think maybe he considers me a friend but I don't really think so.  He doesn't say hello.  He stopped acknowledging any Facebook post I put on his wall years ago and for the last four years, not even a Happy Birthday.  I can't say I'm any better.  I stopped posting on his wall and trying to talk to him because it honestly broke my heart when he didn't respond so I just stopped.  But I didn't fall out of love with him.  I don't even KNOW him.  He never gave me the chance to but for some reason I'm in love with him.

I deny up and down and every possible way that I'm in love... that I've ever even known what love it.  I didn't love my ex husband.  I honored my vows to him but I never actually loved him.  I don't know anything but basics about this guy and if he asked me to I would...

Well I would at least give him a try.  Maybe we wouldn't get along together and maybe we would but a try would be nice.

Whatever. 

Like I said I took off the ring.  I have laid down the armor.  Whether or not he gives me a chance.  I am open for someone to come take a try at me.

Jan 2.


Worked today at the hut.  Still felt for my ring but it's absence didn't bother me as much today as yesterday when the separation was brand new.

I still don;'t know how to flirt or show a man I'm interested in.  So i went back to Tinder.  I was super liked by a guy and I liked him back.  If he responds and says hello maybe we can see in person if we have anything really in common.

I wish I had more to report on today but I can't muster anything, and I have to get to bed.  i have to be up at 6:30 in the morning for my morning client.

I'm tired.  I've fixed my work schedule so that i don't have any days off and it's starting to wear me down.  Like I'm going to crack soon and it's not going to be one of those duct tape and super glue fixes.

Ah well...

A new day starts in 10 minutes and 11 seconds.  Let's see what Jan 3 brings...