Beware this is a serious pity party.
I'm feeling invisible today, bloggers. I have these days every now and them. In the past the days might have stretched out to a string but today is one of those days that it hurts a little more than normal.
I am not a social bug by any stretch of imagination. I don't call anyone and sometimes if real life gets in the way of texting I will completely forget to text you until some random happening causes you to cross my mind again.
But one thing I never do, one thing I can never be accused of, is ignoring someone for over six months and only contacting them because I need something from them.
I have an app on my phone that holds all of my texts. Like every single one unless I've taken the time to delete them. I can go back to some people and see the very first text they ever sent me on this phone. It ranks my conversations as well. Most recent is at the top and least recent is at the bottom. Every six months, I go through and delete the people at the bottom. In my mind if they can't bother to contact me, I can't bother to keep their text streams. If I do this twice (i.e. you texted me because you need something in June and I don't hear from you by December I delete you and you contact me in Jan only to disappear until July...) I not only delete you I stop personalizing your stream.
I love Handsent. I can give you a background, different colors and even a specific text tone so that I know it's you when you text. Most often if it's a personalized text tone, I will drop what I am doing to text you back. For some people that even means if you text me while I'm sleeping, I will wake up and have a conversation with you. Even if that means that at three a.m you wanted to talk. I will wake up. But those people that contact me so little are given the short default tone which at the moment is a temple bell. might pull me to the top of my consciousness in the middle of the night but you definitely won't get me to roll over and have a conversation. After all, I only appear on your radar when you need something so why should I let you ruin my sleep?
And that sounds harsh and a little bit petty but it's the truth. And I didn't used to be that way. I used to be a kind, open person that gave every one of my friends their own text tone and special background. At the moment, twelve people have their own backgrounds, and only eight people have a specific text tone. I will be up front and honest and say that for those nine people, the world can wait while I see what they have to say.
So where am I going with this? What is my point? My point today is that I feel invisible and this is one of the few days that it's rubbing me like a cactus on newborn flesh. It hurts. It feels like no one bloody person gives a shit that I haven't been able to say a word in almost 24 hours. Not one bloody person that has my phone number and can text or ever has texted me gave enough of a shit about me today to ask if my fever was down or if I was feeling better.
What the hell? Really? I mean just that little that you couldn't take five seconds and text me? Facebook me? Shit like this shows me just how high I rank. Thank you.
Do me a favor. The next time that you need/ want something from me, why don't you wait another six months and then consider asking me. Maybe by then, I'll feel like doing you a solid for old times sake.
Ah piss. I'm going before I start naming names...
