Now, I'm not stupid enough to claim that I'm one of those people that hit the floor running at the ass crack of dawn and hope that you believe me because I know that the majority of you will sit there, call me a liar, and laugh your ass off because you know I'm lying through my teeth. The only time my feet hit the floor running in the morning is if I have to go to the bathroom... or someone is at my front door (mostly because they want to test the theory that I will maim you before 8 am)... or one of my kids is hurt/crying.
Otherwise my feet stay firmly under the covers where it's warm and the top half of me can cuddle with the million pillows I have on my bed.
Trust me, the devil does not look up at my floor and mutter that I'm up before ten and if, by some freak happening like today I'm up, he's so totally not concerned that I'm going to do any damage. Not at all.
The earth should be split into two parts. Those that like getting up early and running the world while it's spectacularly bright outside. And those that like running the world at night and we should only congregate on overcast days and at dusk when it's neither day nor night.
The people on the dark side would all go to to work/school at night and the people on the light side could do all that in the daylight. And yes, I realize about 85% of the worlds children would be on the dark side of the earth but here's how you sort them out:
- People on the light side will get paid a sun bonus. Their jobs will end at nightfall and they will go to bed unless they get a day pass to the the darkside.
- People on the darkside will be okay with regular pay since most of the money will be going towards lighting and electricity. They will sleep during the daylight hours unless they obtain a day pass to the light side.
Passes will only be issued if:
- You live on the dark side and are in a serious committed relationship and need to know what your other half looks like in sunlight.
- You live on the light side, are in a committed relationship and would really like a date without the sun shining on you. Please not that couples dating less than a year will only be granted this pass once every five weeks, couples newly married will get a three day pass, and couples with children will get a nightly pass every two weeks.
- You have saved up a total week of vacation at your job. Please note you must work for one full year to earn a week so this pass is only available once a year to either side.
Every person at the age of 18 will be required to live on the opposite side of the earth for three months to decide if they want to be in the light or in the dark.
Farmers will always live in the light. Except the cannabis farmers. We already will have massive lighting on the dark side so why not take advantage and live on the dark side and use heat lamps. The hippie cannabis farmers who like organic can live on the lightside and all cannabis farmers will be require to share.
Since even in a perfect world we can't control the weather (and every single one of you Sims players need to stop sniggering...) on any overcast day when the sun is NOT shining but it's not dark dark, the two halves may mingle and rules are suspended.
NO... I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about this. I'm serious all of that bull shit just jumped off the top of my head this morning. I'm abstaining from coffee. No matter what I do save drinking it black, it messes with my tummy. And one might ask, if I know it's going to do this, why have I still been doing it?
The same reason my lactose intollerant ass still eats ice cream and milk and cookies... because they are just too good to give up and I'm weighing the pain it will cause against the feel better aspect and the feel better aspect is winning. The feel better aspect of coffee is not winning over the pain factor because I can't do that two days in a row. I think I'll make myself some tea... Be right back
...and yet my dumb ass ended up with coffee.. (You don't know it but I was actually AWK for like twenty minutes... I do it often. Sometimes my blogs are two days in the making...) Remind me of this when I'm in pain in about forty minutes...
So I'm going to go fight with Time Warner cable. Yay fun! Out of the first 100 channels I can't see about 45 of them so I'm missing a lot of shows... you know when I actually turn on my tele and when it actually wants to work... I don't want to call them, I want to turn my boxes in for newer boxes but I have a whole season of Once Upon A Time saved on my DVR and I don't wanna lose it! Yes I'm whining.
Mystery man was back again last night. The conversation was... interesting. We talked about sex. Not had it, but talked about it. He's not happy that I don't like sex.. Not happy at all. Anyone know someone that uses the term cow dung instead of bullshit? MM actually used that phrase last night. I have never used that term in my life and don't see myself converting from bullshit to cow dung...
Mmmmm coffee... I love that feeling when each sip spreads through your central nervous system and you get all warm and relaxed.
Okay, I'm going to write again. I have someone else that I'm thinking of submitting CTD to but this time I'm going to pitch that it's in two parts.
Ta y'all.
