So... uhm...

Four days into the new year and I've already fallen down on my resolution....  That is actually a new high for me.  I usually stick with something for at least a week before I default back to my normal.

But to be fair, Mystery Case Files came out with a new game.

A NEW GAME!!!

I can tell by the crickets that you aren't as excited about that as I am.

Or was last night.

The shit is hard.

So the girls got back home last night.  I asked R to have them back to my house by seven so that they could do their chores and shower and go to bed on time.  Wanna know what time he bought them back?  A quarter to nine.  Bedtime is at nine.  They didn't get to bed until after ten.  Guess who had cranky kids this morning?

So I asked R to take Kay to her dentist appointment.  She was getting the last three or four of her twelve cavity horrorfest drilled.  He said to get her there and he would be there no later than 8:10 to sit in the waiting room for her and take her on to school since I needed to be at work by like 830 across town.  At 8:35 he called and asked if I could leave his number with the people at the desk because he was stuck in traffic.  Smile Starters doesn't work that way.  A parent must be in the lobby at all times in case they need you.  So no I couldn't leave his number and go.  Plus all her stuff was there.  He finally shows up at ten minutes to nine.  By now, I'm cold (the waiting room at smile starters is ALWAYS cold.  Even in the summer, it's friggin winter in there.  In the winter I swear I'm going to be frozen to my seat.)  So he gets there and I figure I'm already late so why try to face what is going to be a very long day without coffee?  Coffee is essential for making Dette calm enough not to cuss out the stupid customer, slap the rude ones and strangle chatty coworkers. So yeah added the extra five minutes on because hell in for a penny in for a pound, you know?  I was already going to spend the day playing catch up.  I always do when I get there late (Which is why I get there as early as possible... meaning anytime after five am because DD doesn't open till 5)  Get to work.  Have 40 minutes to sheet out and open the store.  I got this.  I'm super Dette.  No really I am because dammit I did it.

But then I looked over at the oven area and saw the mountain of Deep dish pans.  It is a general rule that if there are more than 12 pans you make deep dish dough.  Fill the pans and put the rest on trays to be sheeted later.

By the time I finished making all the balls (Shut up) I needed for the pans I had enough dough left for Lauren to make a junior pizza.

32 pans.  32 doggone pans.  Had to do that first and not concentrate on anything else because if you take your attention from Deep dish procedures for even a minute, that minute turns into ten and those ten turn into an hour and before you know it, you have lost an entire batch of deep dish dough because that crap rises so stupidly fast that you have about enough time to oil the pans before you have to start sheeting. So that took me until like one thirty and then stupid me started on her regular dough not looking at the time.  Because at 2 pm, I'm supposed to drop everything and do evening sheet outs. (I don't get to see the front of the store much when I open...)  Didn't finish that batc of dough until almost three so got started on the sheet outs while helping J do the Planet fitness order.

Aside:  Planet fitness orders over 130 dollars worth of pizza from us on the first monday of each month.  I have no problem with this.  Well I kinda do.  My moral compas kinda points due north most of the time so I don't see why a GYM orders PIZZA.  I actually asked a lady that works there once.  She was honest, I will give her that, but her explanation was that people eat the pizza and feel so guilty that they hop on the machines and work out.

Fucking brilliant.  Devious as hell, but fucking brilliant.

Shorter segway, I didn't get back to the rest of my dough until after five when the closing shift leader got there.  This is not an uncommon occurrence in Howies these days.  In fact I wasn't in trouble for it but it annoyed the piss out of me because I generally have my dough done before the evening sheet outs.  I get this single mindedness thing going and dough just gets done.  Today however, my brain was like, "Nope, don't talk to me, you didn't finish your cup of coffee, I'm not playing fair today, go fuck yourself."

I promised I would get A through rush.  Rush seemed to rush right on past Howie's tonight because by a quarter to seven it was so slow I think the clock was moving backwards.  I ran.  Ran far and fast.

So right now Charlotte is in the brink of a cold snap.  And by snap I mean a beefy jock wound up a towel and snapp our naked asses in the locker room.  It's so damn cold it hurts!!!  I usually love winter.  It's the one time I really don't have to take my allergy meds and two inhalers because everything is dying.  There's no damn dust.  This week, I have had to use my rescue inhaler because the air is so cold that when I get it into my lungs it's so cold it burns.

No shit... today the snot froze in my nose.  I am not kidding.  I stood outside to talk to my mom for about ten minutes.  The snot froze in my nose.  And when I went to blow it, not realizing that it was frozen and not just crusty (I have a snotty nose it's winter, if that's all I get I;m okay with this) it broke and tore skin from the inside of my nose.  Causing a nosebleed.  Once again my brain said, "You didn't finish your coffee, this is what you deserve."

So I am going to bed.  Early for me but there you have it.  My nose is still bleeding.  My feet hurt and this morning I discovered that if I take off my shoes while sheeting out the morning pizzas, I can't see the top of the sheeter because I'm just that short.  Yeah...

Goodnight.   I'm going to cuddle under my blankies!

Crazy Customers...

So we have this woman that comes into work that privately we call "Crazy Kim".  We call her this for a couple of reasons:

1. She dresses like she's Ghetto Beyonce on the run from the paparazzi.  Everytime.  Over sized shirt and ripped jeans with big sunglasses and a big coat.

2. She gets the same thing EVERY TIME but she claims that it's for her boss.  Well sort of.  The first time it was for her boss.  Then it was for her pregnant boss.  Now it's for her boss's kids.  This Boss went from not pregnant to pregnant to having kids that are able to eat an 8 inch turkey club calzone ON THEIR OWN in the space of like a year.

3. She claims her boss is a germaphobe who will come in and throw the food at us if we don't use gloves anytime we come near her food.

I totally understand germaphobic people but our ovens are 455 degrees.  As far as prep is concerned, we wash our hands and anything that might have been on our hands is burned off during the 7 minutes it's in the oven and we ALWAYS put on gloves to put lettuce and tomato on the sandwiches, but it's not enough for her.  We have to wear gloves to get it out of the oven, we have to wear gloves to carry it to the make line to get the lettuce and tomato and we have to wear gloves while boxing it, putting it in a bag and handing it to her.

Normally she is pretty chill and we crack jokes about her and keep trucking but today she was a little off her game.  I don't know, maybe she went somewhere where they refused to cater to her scrub your skin until it squeaks and then put on a fresh pair of gloves every time you come near my food requests but she was in rare form today...

First off I might need to add the disclaimer that I opened the store this morning so I was there at 8 and that I decided to skip my usual Starbucks and do today without my serious caffeine. (Seriously, I think I'm getting an ulcer and not just in my wallet) So I was approaching tired, I had already written up two employees this morning and fielded two angry customers and the ever tiring L before she came in...

I personally decided to stay away from her since I wasn't really feeling the whole quirky thing today.  I knew right off that it was going to annoy me more than amuse me today so I didn't even throw my hat in the ring.  Ivan handled her.  I went to take the pizzas for the three orders before hers out of the oven.  She sees me at the cut table and starts banging on the counter screaming at me to wear gloves.

AGAIN, I was uncaffeinated.  I looked at her and said "I'm not even near your food yet." and walked away.  Understandably, she didn't like that.  So when F was going to put the lettuce and tomato on them (I put them on the paper and wrapped them... screw the gloves.  We have shrinky dink gloves and that oven is 455 degrees have you ever tried to remove quick melt plastic from skin?? It's not fun...)  F had just washed her hands because she'd come from the lavatory.  But Crazy Kim didn't see that so when F went to put on the gloves, she started screaming at her.  F however was on a phone call on her bluetooth so she didn't realize that Crazy was screaming.  She saw me motion her back to the sink and because she respects me as a supervisor, she didn't say anything as she went back to rewash her hands.  Sometimes I love F. BUt the fact was that she was screaming at us over gloves.

Like I said, I don't know if she went somewhere and the refused to cater to her whims and she was taking it out on us but she's just about read the end of the patience of the staff of Hungry Howie's Sugar Creek.  We take a lot but there's only so much we take.  I think I might talk up the university store and suggest she go there...

Insert evil laughter here...

Short

So yeah... I wasn't going to include a picture with this blog because I have a major migraine that I am waiting to go away and because I don't or rather didn't like my new camera but now, I'm having second thoughts about it.  Before, I used to have to turn on the super bright light next to my desk to get a good shot. Having a migraine made that one of the most horrible and detestable actions on earth.  This new camera took the picture you see there in almost no light at all...

I kinda feel bad about giving them a less than stellar review on eBay now.

So you might notice I have a bandage on my wrist.  No, I wasn't a bad girl with sharp knives again.  I burned myself yesterday.  I was baking a cake and didn't feel anything at all until HOURS later when my arm started to hurt.  Like really hurt.  I dealt with it all last night mostly because I didn't want to go to the ER and this afternoon, I got up and went to the urgent care in my neighborhood.she kept saying it was a burn and I kept telling her I didn't touch anything hot.  Then she looked at my hoodie and asked if I worked ina  pizza place and did I ever manage the ovens.  I told her yes and that sumbish is 450 degrees so I would know if I had touched something hot yesterday and I was off... She said to me that if I was used to an over that was that hot, my piddly little 350 degrees at home wasn't anything and I probably hit the rack with my arm and never noticed.  As a matter of fact, she added, I could probably curl up inside it at 350 and not feel a thing because of my tolerance...  So she wrapped it up and made it feel better and sent me on my way feeling like a jackass because I didn't recognize a burn.

Is it just me or does that picture make it look like I'm wearing eye makeup???  I'm not vain or anything but that picture looks freaking awesome...

Er uhm...

God I need this migraine to go away.  It's so full blown right now that I can't even sleep it off.  If I laid down right now, I just might cry my head hurts so bad.

What else...

Work is going well.  There are a few things that are staring to get to me but I can't put them here because well.. it would be petty and just wrong to complain.  I mean, I have a job that I mostly enjoy which is more than I had a year and a half ago so why complain.  It won't do me any good.

Love life, still zip.

Sex life, still zip.

I'm trying hard to still say life is awesome but at the moment my migraine and the facts in black and white are kinda making that impossible...

But hey, I woke up this morning.  There's that.

So after two imitrex, my head doesn't feel like Irish Step dancers are doing a clog dance in wooden shoes   on it.  I think I;m going to take my butt to bed.  I have to be at work by 10 tomorrow so I should sleep this off while I can.

Goodnight bloggers!  Stay Frosty.

Well, Sunday STILL thinks it's Saturday...

First thing I should point out is that I am obnoxiously tired right now.  YEs, that's a thing.  I am so tired it's obnoxious to me that I can't lay down.  Right now, I should be able to lay down and probably sleep through a category 10 hurricane. Of course, if there were such a thing, (is there such a thing?) I would probably sleep through it because I was dead most likely because when they said evacuate, I was asleep and my house got blown to kingdom come and I either died in the process or I ended up in OZ...  YEs, this is how tired I am.

I have now missed my Thursday night shows as well as my Sunday night shows.  I have them on DVR but I'm supposed to be cancelling my time warner tomorrow or Tuesday so I need to get to watching or get to downloading.

SO last week I think I pulled 42 hours meaning 2 of them overtime (I did a happy dance)  This week, I managed to hit 46 hours.  As an insider.  Which means that those six GLORIOUS hours of overtime were at roughly $12 an hours. A little over seventy seven dollars.  All I can say is, I wasn't going to buy a new TV, but now I'm going to buy a new TV so I can follow through with giving the girls the big ones and having a flat screen in my room as well as the living room.  Also, I thought about getting it wall mounted in my room and using it as my computer screen as well, but nah, I like having my computer and my TV separate.  That way, I can blog while watching tv or in most cases, blog while the TV watches me.  Hell I do most of my stuff with the TV watching me instead of me watching it.

So I got my smart watch today.  It was $100 cheaper if I attached it to my account and got it as another line so now I have two phone numbers technically although when the thing is paired to my phone I don't actually think the calls directly to the watch come through.  I still have to play with it to see.  And play with it I shall!  It's not really a bother to wear either, I'm used to wearing big watches.  I haven't actually worn a watch in the past.... five years or so (I used to wear one when I worked at Michaels because I HAD to know what time it was and if I was caught pulling out my cell phone it was a long lecture I would rather not ever hear again.) When I quit that job, I stopped wearing a watch.  But I always wore big mens watches anyway so the screen on the smart watch isn't really a hindrance.  I'm also going to be honest here, I think only dainty petite women wear ladies watches.  I mean come on!  A face THAT small?!?!?  Who do they think is going to be looking that hard?  Certainly not me.  If I need to see the time I literally want to glance at my watch, not pull out my bifocals (I DO NOT WEAR BIFOCALS) just to see the time.

So, do I look tired?  I think I do.  Well actually if I didn't know my looks, i would pin the look in that photo as I really couldn't give a crap if the world came to a shuttering stop right now.  Ignore the pile of clothes behind me.  I plan to clean my room tomorrow.

What else?

Ah, a random thought that is circling my head and has been for a few days.  It is entirely way too easy to grow feelings for some people.  I mean it.  There's really not much more I can elaborate on the subject but it's true.  Some people are just way to easy to fall for.  And Why does fate allow this to happen?  IT's not fair.

The guy I've been chatting with on Tinder was in town  for a few hours tonight and I actually wanted to go up to the truck yard to meet him in person but after the identity crisis Howies went through this afternoon/tonight I knew there was no way I was walking at at 930 tonight.  And I told him and he wasn't mad.  Partly because he had to be up and puling out of the lot at 2 am (Which is roughly one hour and 27 minutes from now.)  HE's a nice guy.  HE has an obsession with pretty underwear though.  And if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what it is since When I go to Lane Bryant and Avenue's online store, they don't even bother to show me real clothes anymore, they just go ahead and load the lingerie section.  They know I'm not going anywhere else.  So he an I might just really get along later in the future.  He likes to look at girls in pretty underwear, I like to wear pretty underwear.  I am currently obsessed with finding a pair of black polka dot panties to go with the bra I just bought.  Shut up.  I DO NOT want to hear you say it.

I should go to bed.  I should really go to bed.  I think I am going to take my meds and go to bed so that my burning arms can wake me up at 630.  I tell you my arms beat any alarm clock on earth.  Six thirty to six 45 EVERY DAMN MORNING they wake me up.  I got it twice this morning and once at work though I think I managed to hide the burning attack at work pretty well.  That or either no one cared that I was actually in tears at one point or they just chose not to ask.  I would rather think I hid it very well.

So Pizza Delivery complaint #101.  If you order pizza, can you make sure that your address is a findable one?  Not everyone has GPS that will take us straight to your front door.  And some of us have GPS that tell us we're right there when we're a block away because Google maps likes to do that shit sometimes (It also likes to give me all of my directions as if I am walking but whatevs...)  If you don't have numbers on your mailbox or your house, please don't be mad if by the time we find you the first time, we're in a slightly bad mood because chances are we may have had to lug your dinner to another house for them to tell us which house you are.  NUmbers people.  Also... LIGHT!  Turn your freaking light on!!  Let me tell you, there is nothing I like more than being out in what i like to refer to as Pickanigger country (Those areas where all you have is one house a a WHOLE LOTTA land and no one to hear your ass scream) and pulling up to your house only to find that your house is a) in the effing woods surrounded by eerie as hell looking trees. B) dark as hell and C) (My all time favorite) ringing the doorbell while standing on your step in the dark and the trees and hearing five million dogs that sound like they are the size of mountains start barking the second I make a sound out there.  One of these day, I am seriously going to just drop the damn pizzas and run for my life.  No I won't.

...And I just took a ten minute break from writing this.  My hands were bad.  DId I mention this is getting on my nerves?  Sigh.  I'm going to bed.  Blog ya later.

My advice for tonight: Don't sweat the petty things, Pet the sweaty things.  Especially if they have no shirt on and have pec for days. (really?  You thought I was going to keep that above board??  Go stand in the corner!)

NIght peoples!!

MUWAH!!

I'm sorry, Sunday is temporarily unavailable...

You see, it thinks it's Saturday and we are currently trying to handle this identity crisis...

Okay, see, Sunday is my happy happy joy joy day at work for a couple of reasons.  It used to be that way because it meant that I didn't have to see a certain shift leader.  Without him the store was like Disney land.  With him... eh not so much and a day working with Ambs was like working with any one of the great Disney role models that are just about always calm cool and collected.  And that's not me sucking up.  I'm serious...  On Sundays, Ambs is so chill it's like not work at all.  Even if we get a pop, it's no biggie. And after most Saturdays at Howies, Sunday's is a cake walk.  Nearly every Saturday at some point in the day one of us (Maybe more, maybe not, usually just me, Boss man has a song I love to hear that I can't write the words here because well, it's not very nice.) want to just lay down in a corner and cry because Sports and Bounce...  shudder... makes me tremble just thinking about it... Also I love Sundays because it means that Monday morning, I can totally sleep in so I just have to stay on my feet for a couple of more hours and then get home and Wham! Instant mini Vacation because my bed can claim me for up to 48 whole hours! (You know, unless I'm the on call driver which still means I can sleep in because they never need the on call driver until at least noon by which case 80% of the time I'm up and feeling mostly human by then so it's all good.)

But today!  OMG!  No, today was so big that it deserves to be written out in all of it's Valley Girl glory.  Like, Oh My God to the max! Today was like totally, like crazy!

Okay, enough of the Valley Girl.  The older I get the less I can stand to do it, hear it, or think about it.

But seriously.  Today, I swear that Sunday was having an identity crisis and thought that it was in reality, Saturday part two.  Bounce had ten and thirteen pie orders and Sports... well, they must have thought that their calendar said Saturday as well, because Oh My Damn! Even though they weren't on the half hour all day, they had some whoppers in there too... I think one was like a twelve pie order and those sumbishes are extra freaking large.  Oh I'm sorry, did you just refill your sauce and cheese Claudette?  No, you didn't, you must have been dreaming.  Because your sauce bucket is empty... again and you can see the bottom of the make line through what used to be your full cheese lexan... No, you didn't just fill that ten minutes ago.

Today I learned that it is possible to pour two bags of sauce into the lexan at the same time without ending up wearing the sauce like a noob.  Have I seen Joe do it plenty of times?  Yes. Did I think that it was the coolest thing since like ever?  Hell yes!  Have I tried it before?  Yes.  Did I end up wearing most of one bag?  Yes.  Did a good bit of the rest end up on the make line and the floor?  Yes.  Did it today?  No because I was in too much of a damn rush to think about the fact that I was doing it until after I'd done it.  Then Mecklenburg Community Church ordered six pies and I really should have expected it because I took the damn order but when it hit, I had I think two Sports and a bounce... a really BIG bounce (Think eight pizzas and 50 howie wings) on the screen as well as some personal orders.

Oh and the party trays...  I got to do TWO party trays today.  Notice I said I got to do them not that I had to do them.  If you did my job, you'd know that round pizzas and even deep dishes are a dime a dozen and can be done in no time (If you don't complain and need remakes every two minutes... ahem) but a party tray!!!  I LIKE those.  Two extra larges and I think a small (Might be a junior) all smushed together and sheeted out into a dough tray, this thing is 30 slices, a lot of sauce, a shitload of cheese, and ninety freaking pepperoni! (I just want someone to order that sumbish in a works.  Just once!  If I don't get to make it, I at least want to see it!)  And they the ones I did looked BOSS!!  I thought I was on a work high when the owner watched me do one and said it looked good but damn doing two in the space of ten minutes and having them come out looking as good as they did was like an orgasm and a good five hits off a hookah combined with a very good top shelf drink.  It was that good.

AND NO ONE LOST THEIR COOL!!!  Picture it, four women in one enclosed space and a while lotta stuff going on at once.  tensions are going to run high.  But no one got pissed off, no one screamed at anyone, no one whined or complained and as soon as Joe walked in, Ambs took the ladle from me and sent me on break.  I may have look like I was pissed at that moment, but I so wasn't.  My back hurt like a bitch and I was holding that one complaint that I knew would break the good mood.  Trust me, I went and sat in my car and my back was like a little baby whining "Thank you God for sitting down!"

We got another pop later tonight. Not nearly as hard but still a good little hit.  We ran out of wings.  Had enough for one 20 piece order and they got mostly flats and maybe two drums.  I found a lone rogue winge under the racks as I was cleaning.  It was skinny and scrawny and I know what you're going to ask.  Hell yes I popped that thing on a bread tray and sent it through the oven.  Best damn thing I ate all night to that point.

So it's now officially Monday.  My mini vacay is officially starting.  I'm tired. And I have the time card to prove it.  See?  Look at those hours!  I'm a beast man!  I did it and I'm still standing like that awesometastic pizza vixen I am!  Okay, maybe pizza vixen might be going a little too far.... Nah! I make pizzas and I look damn good while doing it and I'm good at it so yeah, awesometastic pizza vixen.  That's me.

Oh yeah... other stuff besides work.

For starters, Kay got asked out on a date.  Yes!! My Kay Kay!  A date!!  I was so floored that I didn't know how to respond.  I did tell her that I had to work all weekend so I didn't think a date was a good idea but then an invite to go to the mall showed up for her and I suspected that the boy was going to be there and that was their way of having their "date" but I let it slide.  Kids today think that adults my age were never their age and therefore, we are monumentally stupid.  But none the less, I let my big girl go to the mall unchaperoned and she did okay.  She spent all of her money on her sister and myself and she didn't have the funds to eat and we're working on that whole sometimes it's okay to be a little selfish thing but she had a good time and couldn't stop smiling about it for hours.  So I'm okay with it.  If she wants to do this again I will just have to make sure she has a little more money to work with.  She may still buy stuff for me and her sister but even Kay gets to a point where she thinks she is spending too much and she stops only using more to buy food.  So if I send her with a good bit, she will eat and have fun.

This little one on the other hand.  Well, that one may not live to see`14...  She asked me Friday if she could go to the library to do research on her report with her best friend who this month happens to be named Jaiden. I said fine but didn't know how they were going to get there.  Jaiden's mom came and picked her up and because I had to work late that night said that Livy could spend the night (I kinda like my kids friends' parents) I said okay and went on to work.  Saturday I told Kay to ask Livy via text what time she'd be back so that my mom could pick them up and Livy informed the both of us that she had taken TWO sets of clothing and she was spending the weekend not just Friday night.

Take a moment to think about who this chick just informed she was spending a weekend.  THink about that.  Relax, I let it go. She's not getting off scott free though.  She doesn't know it yet and she won't notice until it's way too late, but she is about to catch  it for that.  As soon as I have had some time to rest and think and plan.

A little parenting advice: Never punish when you are tired or on the spur of the moment.  Always sleep on it.  Always think about it.  Always weigh your pros and cons and then just after you have lulled your child into a false sense of security where they think that you've forgotten because you're... well old (I mean come on, we had rotary phones, we're like, ancient!) then WHAM! hit them with that well thought out punishment and watch them crumble.

Okay, Y'all, I'm one tired little monkey.  I am going to take my meds and go to bed.  Sometime tomorrow, if I don't get called in, I am going to go fight with Time Warner Cable.  They raised my bill 14 dollars in the past month with no explanation, so I think it's time to say bye bye to them.  Night guys and dolls.

I would use my customary "Stay Frosty" but we are under a winter Storm watch for the one inch of snow we are expecting. Oh don't get on me I know I'm a true northerner.  I've been here long enough to know that snow turns to ice really quick here and people turn form moderately crappy drivers to really shitty ones in a heartbeat.

So get toasty with your special one (or pillow) and cuddle up (or burrow under your covers)  Gather the ones you love close to you and make hot cocoa and watch crappy cheesy movies (or play hours of Rock band)  Take time to hold the ones you love close because one day you might wake up and they are gone and you will only have your memories of them to keep you warm at night.

Stay Warm, loves.  Scatterbrain Dette Loves you!

Checking in before bed...

Really that's all I am going to do.

Because if I blog about the poison that's actually in my head right now, it WILL bite me in the ass and right now that's not what I want biting my ass right now.

It was an okay at day at work today.  Correction.  Until maybe five this afternoon, it was an awesome day.  Between five and seven it was a decent day and after seven, aside from the fact that I got to leave early, the day probably couldn't have gone any worse.  As a matter of fact, I am pretty certain that there will be some talking done about me that I may have to take a minor ass biting lecture about.

Correction.  Another ass biting lecture.

I love my job.  There is rarely a but that follows that short sentence but there is ever more and increasing presence of said word nowadays.

I really do love my job.  But it's getting harder and harder to work around one person.  On good days, around that person, I'm fine.  I fool myself into thinking that one day we might reach a level of normalcy that befits, you know actual sane humans.  Then on bad days the person makes me alternately want to burst into tears or have to mentally check myself before I wreck myself.  Most recently, I've started to realize that the normalcy I want so badly has arrived but in the form of that person being free to say whatever they want to me in the tone that suggests I take a long walk off a short pier, but all I can do is nod and say "okay".

And yes, that is all I can do because if the word vomit that keeps pressing against my lips ever makes it out of my mouth I will be in big trouble.  No, let me give that the weight it deserves... BIG TROUBLE.

The holidays are coming up.  I need my job.  Maybe after the new year, if things aren't any better I will finally give up working with people I have come to love like family and seek employment elsewhere.

But first, I will start paper blogging the word vomit.  Like I said, if the word vomit sees daylight, it's going to bite me in the ass.

Odd thought... Maybe I am starting menopause.  Maybe that's an explanation for the swirling mass of stupid emotions I have become.  WOuld taking hormones and all the stuff a person in menopause has to take help me go back to being on even keel with the world?

Hmmm....

For now, I'm going to keep my mouth shut.  And I mean that literally.  I am going to keep my mouth shut and not say a word to the person making my life a living hell.  Not one word, ever.  And I will snap a rubber band on my wrist every time the word vomit presses against my lips.

Now watch that get me in trouble....

FML...FML very much right now.  I am so fucked.

good night bloggers.  Stay frosty.

Special Customers... (And other randomness)

So uh yeah... tonight and extra special customer learned just WHY they don't generally let me talk to customers after 8 pm....

This guy came in and did his thug gangster crap to Felicia and I looked up and saw his face and figured he was messing with her and she and I were getting along today so I really thought, "He better not be messing with her..."  I went up there and he was trying to play it off like he was just messing with her but I'm pretty sure he saw my mom walk and thought he better play it off... Whatever, he got two menus and left the store.

About a half an hour later, he called FROM THE PARKING LOT to order a large pizza and 20 boneless wings but he was talking like I spoke ebonics and I couldn't understand him... I honestly thought he wanted me to put BOTH buffalo and BBQ on a ten piece wings.  To which he said,"You know what? I'm in the parking lot, I'm coming in."

My thought was, If you are the effing parking lot why not just walk in and place your order.  Followed closely by by, Be nice dette, be nice

ANYWAYS

He comes walking up to the door like he's gonna hurt someone and gets to the counter and says, "You know let me tell you like this."  And he wasn't playing either.  He was actually going to get mad at me and proceed to tell me off.  "Let me tell you like this." was the last thing he got out of his mouth before I looked him square in the eye and said "I really hope that you are playing with me because if you are about to tell me off I WILL come over this counter.  Not around it, OVER it."

The look on his face was the same look that all boys get when they've pissed off mom.  So I know he had home training by a good woman but oh man, I was so deadly serious.  He even tried to come back at me somewhat when he looked over at Falecia and said "What kind of customer service is this?"  To which I replied, "I don't have any customer service skill when customers act like that, now what do you want?"

I so could have gotten fired.  I know this and I am so thankful that my boss had gone home and that the owners weren't there.  I'm pretty sure I would have been turned out on my ear but damn, people need to understand that just because someone lied to you and told you that the customer is always right doesn't mean that I have to help support that lie.  The customer is not always right.  Most of the time the customer gets what they want because the person they are belittling has more class than to go up one side of them and down the other.

Like I said, they don't generally let me talk to customers after a certain hour.  I'm not a nice person to those who aren't nice to me and my censor guard takes a serious nap...

I really really should watch this.  One day I'm going to come across a customer who might actually complain.  But you know what, I'm not going to deny that I probably ripped them a new asshole, I'll own up because my boss knows me well enough that I couldn't perpetrate that lie on my best days.  If someone says I went off on them his first question would probably be to them "What did YOU say that caused her to rip you a new asshole?"  And you better have your story straight, too because you best be damn sure that I'm going to tell WORD FOR WORD what you said that caused me to go off.

I'm a nice person, I swear I am... NO no I don't.  My momma raised me not to swear to falsehoods.  I can be a nice person but I reciprocate what I receive and if I receive crap I WILL give you back shit.

I should not work in customer service.
I should not work in customer service.

I learned this lesson back at value city when I made a woman cry at the customer service desk because she tried to return panties that she had worn and not even bothered to wash.

I should not work in customer service.
I should not work in customer service.

I should just stay in the back and make the food and not talk to the customers.  I should do that.  I can do that.

That is what I am going to do from now on.  I'm just going to stay in the back.

Away from customers.

And make food.

For the customers.

Away from the customers.

Away from people.

Also, I want my braids back.  I miss my braids.  I know who I am with braids.  I don't know who I am with hair and I know I spent $264 dollars on these tracks and another $90 to have them put in but dammit, I want my braids back.  This crap is way too high maintenance.  I am not a high maintenance kind of girl.  I am a put it in a ponytail or let it hang kind of girl.  This crap requires combing and straightening and curling and other girly crap.

No.  Just No.  I will wash the tracks and get them sewn into Olivia's hair.  She's a girly girl  She will pull them off and be just fine and probably rock them better than I ever could.

I want my braids back.  By Thanksgiving I will have them back.  I'm so done with the pretty girl hair.
It's two am and I haven't even taken my night pills.  I'm going to go do that.

Stay Frosty bloggers.

Ugh...

So I did the silent thing at work tonight.  IT wasn't totally on purpose, but it kinda was.  I get random migraines and when I do I have an EXTREMELY short fuse.  So short that you could tell me that the sky is blue and I will get pissed at you for telling me something that I not only already know but something that I could look up and discover for myself and then I'll get pissy because you don't think I can look up and see it which will lead to me getting pissy because you think I'm an idiot and the list is so freaking endless that it makes my head hurt worse to see if there is actually an end to said list.

So I keep silent.  Because I have anger issues.  And I have word vomit when the head hurts.  And the guard at the censorship gate just walks away.  So things and true feelings could come pouring out of my mouth that will make you hate me.  So I don't talk.  It's better to have friends and coworkers who will still work with you at the end of the day than to alienate them from the get go and be assed out.

Also, I need a shirt that says "Stop freaking asking me if I'm okay!"  Dammit if you see that I'm quiet and not smiling and you ask me once , that's okay.  If I say "i'm fine" that's generally code for no but I don't want to talk.  So drop it, please???  Just let me sort myself out.  It'll happen.  May not happen on your timetable but then.... I'm so not going to finish that.  Sometimes I can catch the word vomit.  Sometimes.

So I keep having a very weird dream.  I keep dreaming that I ask for a transfer to the University store and the GM, Jordan, and I fight like literal cartoon cats and dogs.  Every day all day.  But he won't or can't fire me.  I know why I ask for the transfer.  It's to avoid seeing someone that it's becoming increasingly hard to actually be around.

But I don't ever actually see me asking for a transfer to that store.  Never no way, no how, not going to happen.  I would rather quit first that go work there.  They are FOREVER running out of things and coming to our store to re up.  Like excuse me... No!  Just no.  Stop using so much and effing learn how to order the appropriate amount of shit on your own truck and stop mooching off of us!!  I can see needing stuff on Wednesday night right before truck... cause everyone runs out every now and again, usually RIGHT before payday/restocking.  That's just a way of life.  But to need supplies on truck day?!?!?  Are you serious?  No.  It's kinda good that I'm not a shift leader at work because honestly, I would look at the caller ID and just answer the phone with "No, dude.  No."  Or I'd pretend to go look for the stuff they ask for and come back and say "Sorry man, we can't spare it."  Or maybe the much nicer "Yeah sure you can have it but I want it back AS SOON as your truck comes in.  Like I'm going to send my driver up to your store to pick it up at ten A.M.  Yes I know, but I'll ask them to come in early just so they can come pick it up.  Oh?  You don't need it?  You can wait?  That's cool!  Bye!!"

I'm a bitch.  A pure unadulterated bitch.  I admit that... from time to time... I didn't say that.  I did not just say that.  Yes I did.  But I bet that fucker would start to use his supplies more wisely.

So it was brought up to me last night, why do I like the guy that I currently like.  My answer was hands, eyes, and voice.  While that's true, that's not totally true.  It's part of what keeps me attracted but there's something pulling me.  The first time I was in Howies and got to meet everyone, Joe says, "And this is XXXXXXX" I turned around and the air was sucked out of the room.  I don't know any other way to describe it but the air was sucked out of the room and in my mind bells started ringing.  I seriously doubt if he felt that way.  But I did.  I missed part of an important conversation for those damn bells.  When he shook my hand I felt like I never wanted to wash that sumbish again. (I did... several times.  I wash my hands maybe 90 times at work on an average week.)  And his eyes.  They're this blue grey that sees right into you and when he smiles they light up like fireworks.  The good silent but very bright ones.  His hands... oh... don't get me started on his hands.  They're actually bigger than my own which is really hard to find in guys because I got my father's hands.  They are large and more times than not fit a mans glove.  His fingers are skinnier than mine but his hands are bigger and Lord have mercy does he know what to do with them! I didn't say that.  I did not say that!....  He can lift me into the air and he doesn't have to strain or use a forklift.  No guy in my life has ever been able to.  And Heaven help me, he thinks I'm short.  My forehead is at his mouth.  As for his voice.  God I could sit and listen to him talk for hours.  Have.  His voice is so seductive.  Sometimes I sit and wonder if I'm just really really horney but then I walk into the kitchens and he's there and it's not my lower half that jumps for joy... it's my mind and my chest.  My lower half is all like "Yay, he's he's here... cool."  My head and my chest ae meanwhile doing jumping jacks and somersaults and high school cheers complete with pom poms. "2-4-6-8!  Who do we appreciate?? XXXXXXX! XXXXXXX! he's our guy! Yaaaaay!" And no it doesn't get annoying because only I can hear it and I have a very good poker face.

I suck crap at poker but I have a very good poker face.

Speaking of card games, does anyone in this damn town play gin?  I can't find a decent gin game to save my life.  I know where I can find a spades game but that requires me to hang out with the guys from work which isn't actually a problem but I'm not the best at spades and haven't played in a few years.  I don't play poker because I played strip once and lost.  Lost badly.  I'm pretty sure that the deck was somehow rigged so that I would loose badly but still.  Being the naked one in a room full of guys.... not so awesome.  Not always.  So no, Dette will not play poker.

I have Cher Lloyd's Swagger Jagger going through my head right now.  I just took my melatonin so maybe that will put her to sleep.  I doubt it.  The migraine meds which are thankfully working, combined with the night meds will probably have her singing the ish in the University store while Jordan and I are duking it out.

I really need to get to the bottom of my issue with him.  It cannot seriously be simply because he has no idea how to order a truck and make it last for a freaking week.  It can't be.  It just can't.  There's something else there and I cannot for the life of me figure it out.

Okay, I'm kinda babbling right now.  I recognize that, so I'm going to go and let my night meds kick in.  Tomorrow I have to try and fix my garbage disposal because it's jammed on something.... again and there's a piece of rancid chicken in there somewhere.  There has to be.  There can be no other explanation for why my kitchen and subsequently most of my house smells like a five day old chicken left in the sun.  This is going to be fun... Did you see the head twist that came with that last bit of sarcasm?  No?  It was there.  Trust me.

So I'm going to go and curl up under my blankets because it's cold in my house.  like a stupo, I left the AC on and set to like 68 degrees so my house is freaking antarctica right now.  And all I want is ice cream.

Oh two things.  Tonight I went to Chick fil a for some french fries and the woman at the window had candy stuck all over her shirt and in her hair.  She looked so damn much like Vaneelope From Wreck it Ralph (I actually called her Penelope pitstop.  Totally different character)  So I asked her Why she was dressed like Penelope Pitstop (Again I got the name wrong but...)  and she got so freaking excited and told me I was getting a free chicken tender meal because she had been dressed like that all day and while customers had asked why she had candy stuck to her they had never named her character.  The Davis Lake Chick fil A was showing Wreck it Ralph tonight and she was dressed as Vanellope.  I won free food.  Yay.  I used my chicken tender in a soft taco from taco Bell.  So I had Chick fil a chicken on top of taco bell beef and all wrapped up.  Yes it was good. No, I'm not pregnant.  you have to actually have sex for that to happen.

The second thing was that I had a golden night at work tonight... you know aside from the migraine and not talking thing... Not one customer stiffed me on tips.  One even gave me an $8 tip and one wanted to round her credit card out to $30 so I got 6.30.  Yaya for awesome customers!  Worked five to eleven and made $50+ dollars.  So yeah... tonight's customers were awesome sauce!

Yawn!  Going to hit the hay.  Stay Frosty bloggers!

Oh and can someone PLEASE tell me who is +1ing my posts via Google+?  Every single freaking post is +1'ed and I have no clue who it is so I can't thank them!!  Frustrating not to be able to say thank you sometimes.

Thank you!  Whoever you are!!

Goodnight... or rather morning... since I blogged myself into Saturday morning!

Ta!

Sleeping Angry

So last night I didn't sleep well at all.  I didn't go to bed angry but something on my mind manifested itself in my dreams all freaking night long and would not go away until about five this morning when my subconscious tired of the repetition and inserted my standard wake up device.

There is this girl at work and when I came in I honestly tried to be nice to her but one of the first things I noticed was that her elevator didn't quite reach the top floor.  This actually made me want to be a little nicer to her... at first.

But slowly, she shattered all of the walls I put up to protect myself from people like her.

First I have a pet peeve with people being in conversations that don't involve them.  I have three kids and one of the first things I tried to instill in them is if someone around them is talking to someone else DO NOT put yourself into the conversation.  You really never know how it's going to be perceived.  You could be welcomed into the conversation or you could be viewed as a busybody who gets on peoples nerves.  This particular person does this  all the time.  You could be telling someone about something that happened to you ten years ago and she will come into the middle of your conversation with "I know! I..."  And all I wanna scream is "Friggen stop that!  How the hell do you have any place in this conversation knowing that ten years ago you were climbing on the short bus wearing a sturdy plastic helmet to keep you safe?!?"  But of course that is not a nice thing to say and believe it not, I am actually a nice person... sometimes.  Saying something like that is neither appropriate for the workplace nor something that is tolerable in the workplace.  It is however, something that is liable to come flowing out of my mouth when the censor guard is away...

Second I have a thing with people being unnecessarily loud.  If people wince when you start talking or if people can hear you from the back of a place that has a roaring over, a blaring stereo, and a loud sheeting device going at full speed, you are too loud.  Not a clue if you've ever been in the back of a pizza place but a good bit of the time we have all three of these.  Maybe not a blaring stereo but a semi loud one and if she says something in the front, most of the time I can hear her in the back.  Other people could fairly shout and I might catch every other word but with her, I can hear her clearly.

Third, I'm sarcastic but with me, ninety percent of the time it fits the situation.  There is that odd ten percent of the time when it's totally uncalled for and I understand that and I usually apologize because I realize it was inappropriate. I never try to go out of my way to hurt people with my words unless they have pushed me off the high dive and insisted I swim in the cesspool of   words that can come flowing out of my mouth.  If you have known me more than ten minutes that you already know that I'm a writer and the daughter of an English teacher.  I can phrase things in a way that can will actually leave you feeling like I've become the hideous old hag in town that cut everyone down with her sharp tongue and kept walking.  Mostly I prefer to create you as a character in my stories and verbally (maybe physically) hurt you there but every now and then, it happens in real life.  With her, every other word that flows from her mouth is sarcastic.

Yes, I make fun of her behind her back and have for a few weeks now but trust me making fun of her to her face is not my style and would get out of control very quickly.  BUT I'm not the one that started that.  That situation was going way before I got there.  If she only knew what people say about her behind her back...

And for awhile I even defended her dumbass.  The poking fun would start and I would turn away or actually say, "Her elevator doesn't go to the top floor, it's not fair to say that."  I was sorta kinda on her side, or at least straddling the line between throwing rocks at her and taking up her cause.  But it's ME that's she's decided to make a point of annoying now.

For the last six or so shifts, she has made it a point not to say a word to me.  At first it wasn't an outright snub that I could see.  But in the last couple shifts I've noticed that she will make a point to speak to everyone in the room BUT me.  People who have actually told her to her face to leave them the hell alone she will speak to but me who has never actually cussed her out gets snubbed. Okay.  People who have made it clear that they would prefer her not to interact with them, she will sit and talk to but me, she snubs.

Last night she actually said something to me but she chose to snap at me in front of customers and coworkers.  The worst I did was slam the hotbox door.

So last night my dreams were pretty graphic.  Most of the times my brain went over the fictitious situation I simply used my words to cut her down.  Then somewhere near the end of my minds tether, she actually slapped me first.  In a couple of the scenarios I didn't react.  In a couple I beat the ish out of her right there in the store, one I hit her with a pizza pan, and the one that scared me the most because it actually seems like something I would lose control and do making it the closest to home my subconscious got to pegging me last night was she slapped me after I verbally cut her down and I went, clocked out, drug her butt to the parking lot off store grounds and beat the snot out of her.

I'm going to be honest.  That last one was so close to being something I would actually do that it was frightening.  It was just after that one that my mind put a full moon in the sky at daytime to make me realize I was dreaming and enabled me to wake up.  That is my device.  If i see a full moon in the daytime or the sun at night, I know I'm dreaming and can actually force myself to wake up.  I lost control like that once before and afterwards it took way too many people way too long to calm me down.  I didn't like me, I know others didn't like that side of me and it was one of the few times that landed me on behavioral meds that I didn't argue.  Because I'm totally silent.  Something snaps in my brain and the me that everyone else sees, just goes to hide.  The one time I snapped like that, I didn't realize I'd done it until I came back to myself and was told what I had done.  One of the main things they kept telling me was that I didn't say a word, just commenced to bashing the girl silently.

My hope is now that I've dreamt about it and blogged about it, I have gone a fair way to blow my steam out.  I have put a little more time on the egg timer and given myself sometime to reassess.

I'm not going to say a word, I'm going to be okay with her not saying a word to me.  I'm not going to speak about her, and I'm not going to make fun of her.  I am not going to go out of my way to be nice to her either.  She doesn't deserve that from me.  I am not going to defend her when others talk about her.  I'm not going to do anything but my job.  And that's where it will end hopefully.

I love my job and don't want to do anything to jeopardize it.

Fuck it, I'm going to bake.  Today is cookie/brownie day.  I promise I would bring some in for them and I aim to keep that promise today...

Stay frosty peeps!