The problem with morning

Is that it's too damn early.

Now, I'm not stupid enough to claim that I'm one of those people that hit the floor running at the ass crack of dawn and hope that you believe me because I know that the majority of you will sit there, call me a liar, and laugh your ass off because you know I'm lying through my teeth.  The only time my feet hit the floor running in the morning is if I have to go to the bathroom... or someone is at my front door (mostly because they want to test the theory that I will maim you before 8 am)... or one of my kids is hurt/crying.

Otherwise my feet stay firmly under the covers where it's warm and the top half of me can cuddle with the million pillows I have on my bed.

Trust me, the devil does not look up at my floor and mutter that I'm up before ten and if, by some freak happening like today I'm up, he's so totally not concerned that I'm going to do any damage.  Not at all.

The earth should be split into two parts.  Those that like getting up early and running the world while it's spectacularly bright outside.  And those that like running the world at night and we should only congregate on overcast days and at dusk when it's neither day nor night.

The people on the dark side would all go to to work/school at night and the people on the light side could do all that in the daylight.  And yes, I realize about 85% of the worlds children would be on the dark side of the earth but here's how you sort them out:

• People on the light side will get paid a sun bonus.  Their jobs will end at nightfall and they will go to bed unless they get a day pass to the the darkside.
• People on the darkside will be okay with regular pay since most of the money will be going towards lighting and electricity.  They will sleep during the daylight hours unless they obtain a day pass to the light side.

Passes will only be issued if:

• You live on the dark side and are in a serious committed relationship and need to know what your other half looks like in sunlight.
• You live on the light side, are in a committed relationship and would really like a date without the sun shining on you. Please not that couples dating less than a year will only be granted this pass once every five weeks, couples newly married will get a three day pass, and couples with children will get a nightly pass every two weeks.
• You have saved up a total week of vacation at your job.  Please note you must work for one full year to earn a week so this pass is only available once a year to either side.

Every person at the age of 18 will be required to live on the opposite side of the earth for three months to decide if they want to be in the light or in the dark.

Farmers will always live in the light.  Except the cannabis farmers.  We already will have massive lighting on the dark side so why not take advantage and live on the dark side and use heat lamps.  The hippie cannabis farmers who like organic can live on the lightside and all cannabis farmers will be require to share.

Since even in a perfect world we can't control the weather (and every single one of you Sims players need to stop sniggering...) on any overcast day when the sun is NOT shining but it's not dark dark, the two halves may mingle and rules are suspended.

NO... I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about this.  I'm serious all of that bull shit just jumped off the top of my head this morning.  I'm abstaining from coffee.  No matter what I do save drinking it black, it messes with my tummy.  And one might ask, if I know it's going to do this, why have I still been doing it?

The same reason my lactose intollerant ass still eats ice cream and milk and cookies... because they are just too good to give up and I'm weighing the pain it will cause against the feel better aspect and the feel better aspect is winning.  The feel better aspect of coffee is not winning over the pain factor because I can't do that two days in a row.  I think I'll make myself some tea...  Be right back

...and yet my dumb ass ended up with coffee.. (You don't know it but I was actually AWK for like twenty minutes... I do it often.  Sometimes my blogs are two days in the making...) Remind me of this when I'm in pain in about forty minutes...

So I'm going to go fight with Time Warner cable. Yay fun!  Out of the first 100 channels I can't see about 45 of them so I'm missing a lot of shows... you know when I actually turn on my tele and when it actually wants to work... I don't want to call them, I want to turn my boxes in for newer boxes but I have a whole season of Once Upon A Time saved on my DVR and I don't wanna lose it! Yes I'm whining.

Mystery man was back again last night.  The conversation was... interesting.  We talked about sex.  Not had it, but talked about it.  He's not happy that I don't like sex.. Not happy at all.  Anyone know someone that uses the term cow dung instead of bullshit?  MM actually used that phrase last night.  I have never used that term in my life and don't see myself converting from bullshit to cow dung...

Mmmmm coffee... I love that feeling when each sip spreads through your central nervous system and you get all warm and relaxed.

Okay, I'm going to write again.  I have someone else that I'm thinking of submitting CTD to but this time I'm going to pitch that it's in two parts.

Ta y'all.

Rice Cakes and coffee....

Good morning bloggers!

Despite everything, it IS a good morning.  I woke up. I'm breathing, my kids are alive. The world is spinning, and there will be sunshine for the Panthers to play this afternoon.

I'm not a Panther fan per se, but I DO live in Charlotte and they are the local team and their colors are kinda okay so I guess I'm cheering for them today.  Besides, it's been almost 20 years since I rooted for the 49ers to win anything.  I only championed them in high school because a boy that I liked then and I was trying to get in good with him.  It didn't work.

Personally I think that football is one huge game of overpriced catch but far be it from me to down it for anyone else. If I were to ever find a guy and he wanted to spend Sunday afternoons in front of the tele watching the game, I'd make him snacks and then go about my business. It's a man's thing in my opinion. (Of course this didn't stop me from totally knocking down the other girls when I have to play powderpuff football in high school.  No clue what position I played I just know they tossed me the ball and I ran... sorta like Forrest Gump...)

So I'll not say I'm excited for the game because in reality I'm not but it would be awesome if they win.  This would spur the city to really make serious improvements to Bank of America Stadium.  They've wanted the Super bowl here for years and the Panthers making it to the bowl is just the inspiration they need to get on it. Let me tell you, if it ever happens and I'm still living in a house and the superbowl comes to Charlotte, I am so renting out my house for a week.  They say you can make like a grand a night.  Yes, I'm an opportunist like that.

So anyway, I'm sitting here drinking coffee and eating rice cakes.  They are about the only things I'm putting on my stomach right now.  I made Fried chicken wings last night with shortening and they seemed to go down and stay down but then I had a glass of milk and seven cookies.  I don't know what happened but oh my damn.  I expected the cramps and the well... you know because it always hits when I have milk (Actually not so always since my colon started acting up.  It's really a hit or miss thing.) but something said grab the big pot off the shelf, you're gonna need it.  So imagine if you will me sitting on the potty while also hugging a big red spaghetti pot.  It was not pretty, it's was not awesome, and to make matters worse, it happened three more times during the night.  I had no idea a body could throw up that many times.  I'm serious.  My experience with throwing up has always been one good one and then just dry heaves.  I can handle dry heaves.  I cannot handle my body finding stuff to throw up at all hours.

As I always do, when I'm not feeling well, I arranged the pillows on my bed to feel like my Mr. Right was there in bed holding me.  Nothing sexual, just so that it felt like there was another body there, holding me and making me feel not so alone in all this.  I hate being alone when I don't feel well.

Sigh so after this rice cake, I'm going to get dressed for church.  My xMIL didn't call yesterday so I don't have to go get her for church.  Kinda yay, kinda boo.  I like it when she comes to church.  I love my nieces.  I love how they come careening around the corner screaming "Aunt Dette!" and give me hugs.  I love it when my own kids give me running hugs too.  I'm going to miss that when they get too old for hugs.  I like hugs in general.  The ones you get from someone bigger/stronger than you that ask nothing from you but just go on forever.  Those are my favorites.

The world needs more hugs.

Okay well, rice cake finished, I'm going to get ready for church.  Enjoy your Sunday, bloggers!  Stay Frosty!

It's raining! It's pouring!

So woke up at 2 am with a burning in my throat.  If this is the worst of what I get this winter, I'm okay with that.  I have a flu shot and a pneumonia shot as internal defense.  I hope they work.

Of course this cements my plans to stay here in the house for New Years.  I don't think I want to go out drinking and shouting if my throat is still sore.  This way I have an excuse to wrap up in the blankets of my bed and sleep in the new year.  Now if my throat decides it's not going to win the day then I will probably spend the new year writing.  I'm making decent headway on the latest story.  I also found another publisher that I'm going to submit Chasing the Duchess to.  They are looking for romance and Romance suspense.  If they break parts 2 and 3 into two different books and offer the prologue (part 1) as a teaser chapter for free, I feel like it will sell.  They'll get two books out of it and I'll get published.  Plus, Part 2 closes with Paige leaving the island with Milo unsure if he will ever find her.... In all actuality between that part and part 3 I did skip a few months... I could write a novella in the middle and be just fine.  But I need to change the ending and go back to what I originally wanted.  I changed it to something quick with a lead in to Juliet's book when I was pitching it to Crimson.  I don't like it and I personally feel that if the author doesn't like her own ending, no one else will... well except J.K Rowling when she killed Sirius... and Dumbledore...  She said she cried.  I threw the book at the wall while crying.

So back to today.  I am sitting here listening to the rain pour outside.  I know it is so very un Christian of me but I just want to crawl back in bed and forget church.  I really shouldn't be that way but I'm that way when it comes to rain.  Whatever the plan, if it's raining I want to chuck it.  I'm pretty sure this will apply to my wedding should I ever get the chance.  Who am I kidding.  Should I ever get the chance to get married again I'll probably spend the night at the top of the aisle.  They'll get there and I'll be there fully decked out with a cup of coffee talking about "come on, let's go!"

So tomorrow marks two years that I have been celibate.  I would love to be able to say that this was a choice.  Well it was.  It's a choice on the part of the men in Charlotte.  Nope, can't go there, can't blame them.  I am a little picky.  I want who I want and I don't like substitutes.  So mostly me.  But here's the thing.  I hate celibacy.  Like seriously hate it.

And I hate sex.  I'll give you a second to start breathing again.  Yes I said it.  Not quite out loud but I said it.  I really don't like the act of sex.  I'm good with foreplay, I'm good with oral but the actual act, I could really care less for.  I rarely achieve orgasm and in fact that is a totally new feeling for me as the last guy I slept with was the one to show me what I'd been faking for years.  If I were a shrink, I might attribute my dislike of the act to being raped in college but somehow I think it might go further than that. I don't know why.  Growing up, I had no interest in boys in that way.  All I wanted was to make out with them.  I would even go so far as to say the thought of sharing a bed with them crossed my mind but not in a sexual way.  In a holding me in his arms till morning kind of way...  So no, I don't think the guy in college that pinned me against the wall and forced himself on me is the reason I don't like sex.  It just seems messy and painful, and if the same ending can be achieved with hands and fingers why bother with the rest?

I am one screwed up duckling... a friend of mine once read a story I wrote where the sex scene took up like five pages and said that it made her hot, but I don't like sex.  I make my characters have sex at the drop of a hat, but I don't like sex.  Somehow, I think I might need to see a psych.   One of my friends (Another one) said that I don't like sex because I haven't done it with the right guy.  Well hell, can Mr. Right hurry the hell up and get here cause I would really love to see what people are raving about.

And in case anyone is wondering, I know I've managed to connect what? three of the letters in the alphabet blog to sex and love, but the S blog WILL NOT be sexual.  I have actually chosen a pretty cute topic.

Sigh... It's eight A.M.  I need to get up and start pretending that I want to leave my house. The kids run church today so my ex mother in law wants to go and see.  Totally not a problem.  Just means we need to be out of here by nine ish so that I can go pick her up and get to my moms so that we are on time.  Then I take everybody save my mother back over to Providence court and I come home and wrap up in a blanket and raid my DVR.

That sounds like an awesome plan.  Can we skip to that right now?

I would say stay frosty as per my usual closing but considering the rain outside right now, I'm gonna close with Don't float away!!

Ciao Bloggers.

Brief blog

Because I don't have long at all.

I'm about to hit the road to go get my mom.  I have the colonoscopy upper endoscopy this morning at a quarter to seven.  That's right, they're going to go down both ends in the same visit.  I drew the special torture card!  Yay me!

My stomach is so empty it hurts, my mouth is dry and I threw up a good bit of the prep last night so even though everything is all clear so to speak I have a feeling I'm going to get yelled at.  Goody.

I really hope that this doc finds nothing.  Then maybe I will feel better about him scaring the crap out of me when he said he thinks that I need this because he fears cancer.  Do you know how many of my dreams have me telling people what I think of them and then walking off only to die in some tropical setting???

I have been planning my last months in my dreams.  I never get what I want though.  Not even in my dreams.  What kind of mess is that?

I would promise to write after I get home but I'm pretty sure my immediate plan will be to face plant on my bed for a few hours.

Stay frosty I'll be back!

Rain, rain, go away! Go ruin someone else's day!

We did this, this summer... This rain thing...  We did it for like 21 days in a row.  Everyday rain, rain, rain.  A lot of people hated it.  Mostly the farmers who lost massive crops and people who couldn't sunbathe.

I didn't really care because it was rain.  Sure it kept my kids housebound and eventually drove us all crazy, but truthfully, we didn't have far to drive to get there.  The only adverse effect it had on me was that I wanted to stay in bed all day.  For me, rainy days means cuddling up in bed and just chillaxing. (Note here that Chillaning was in my windows dictionary.  How is it that I'm not surprised but very surprised at the same time?)

So now it's been raining for round about four days now and the pull to just hide in my bed is sounding again.  I just want to chill out and pretend that that the world begins and ends with my pillows and comforters.

Eventually I will have to get and participate in the real world.  I should really hire someone for that.  I need money to hire someone for that.

At the moment, I'm trying to clear out my DVR.  I only have two episodes of Once upon A Time in Wonderland to watch which is good because I keep trying to give this show a chance, but it's just not clicking with me.  I just keep giving it chances so I think something somewhere is clicking I just don't know what and where.

The one that's going to be hard to clear out is Hostages.  I liked it going in I really did, the first episode clicked with me but then I skipped one Sunday and I never managed to gain it back.  Now, I have four weeks worth of the show on my DVR and I just cannot sit and watch four hours of Toni Collette like that.  Most of the time, when she smiles, I just want to climb in her mouth with a yard or six of wire and wrangle those teeth into line.  I had a thing for people with bad teeth.

Which is oddly ironic because I think my teeth are the worst of all.  I just found out I can go to a dentist so I did and OMG  I have four teeth that need to be pulled and 12 cavities to be drilled.  Eleven if you don't count the chip in the front and I think I may ask her to keep my chip.  It gives me character.  I'm getting a partial.  I'm not over the moon about it but at the least I can smile and feel like I'm pretty again.

I need to shower and get dressed.  I have to be to my mother in an hour.  I get to go the The Avenue and get my jeans!!  Yay!!

So off I go!  Ta!

So this AM...

...was not one of those happy bouncey mornings.  Yesterday was a happy bouncy morning.  Partly because the kids were going back to school and partly because for the first time in a long time I had had a really good sleep.
I'm serious.  Yesterday I crawled back into bed as is my oh so sadly depressing normal and basically lay there willing myself to sleep for like three hours.  I don't know how I did it considering I kept saying I needed to get up.
Anyway.  Coffee maker overflowed today.  When the boy got up he noticed it going... Auto timer gotta love them... And I think he added water but didn't realize that there was already twelve cups of water in there.
Of course he didn't own up to it.  He never does.  I wish I had cameras all over my house.  I need to look into that...
So kids are off.  Thus starts the normal routine.  I did change it up this morning. I put clothes in the washer so that something gets done while I sleep...
Sad...
Blog ya later!