December 17, 2023

 I didn't do jack shit today.

I mean, I did my nails and watched Wonder Woman.  Did a load of laundry then made pancakes and bacon for dinner.

Took a shit.

That literally sums up my day.

Oh! I watched the first season of the First Wives Club on Netflix.  Love me some Jill Scott.  Have since she whacked that uppity shit in the back of the head with the bottle in Why did I get married. Michelle Banteau is kinda funny too. She hosts the Circle on Netflix and she was the MC in that survival of the thickest I watched last ... well I was gonna say last week but that was like four days ago.

Shit.

The baby turns 22 in a day. 

Yes.  Yes 22 is still playing relentlessly in my head.

The middle minion is on the train. At this precise moment, she's in Greensboro NC.  112 miles away.  I briefly toyed with staying up to go get her from the train station but that'll be at three am. I love my child but I need Amtrak to do better. I took that very same train down to Charlotte from NJ 26... oh god old moment... years ago and I remember damn well that that train got in at a reasonable hour but now 26...oh god damn I feel old... years later that bitch wanna roll in like a WYD booty call at three am... DO  BETTER. AMTRAK!

I'm doing pretty good at remembering to do this every night.  

Why does Netflix pretend like that twatwaffle Meghan Markle is the reason Suits was popular??  Ugh... I can't stand her and Cuntmilla. Now watch me finally be able to move to England and be one of her loyal subjects. Snort.

My head hurts.  I'm about to fall in to bed and give my pillow some head.

Snort... like I remember how to give head.  It's been way too long.

I think I need therapy y'all.  I'm cracking up. Well not that's not true I was cracked years ago. Now I'm broken and laughing at my own bad jokes.

Snort!

Groan.  Help me

Also I think my keyboard is dying. Poop.

Okay, I'm really signing off now.  Night!

So... yeah...

I've been a bad girl... or maybe I haven't...  I really only use this blog when I have something that I need to get off my chest and need for it to go away.  I haven't been here in probably over a month which means that I haven't had any stress that I needed to blog off...

Okay, that's a flat out lie.  I have had stress.  A fair bit of it.  Most of it caused by one person.  She will remain nameless for the sake of this blog.

It's all good. though, I fixed my facebook so that she can't see anything about me, not even when I'm online and then I created her about twelve times in the Sims and killed her in some pretty nice ways.  Let's see, I trapped her in a pool and took away the ladder.  She drowned to death.  Then I put her in a 2x2 room with now windows or doors and no toilet.  She got hungry, pissed herself and then died.  I hit her with a falling satellite, I hit her with lightning, I set her on fire and I gave her pneumonia and wouldn't let her rest.  For that death I actually plead with death for her return which made us like best friends and then I broke the computer, took away her mechanical skills and made her fix it.  She electrocuted herself.  I even gave her an honorable death by flies.  I think the most awesome was I had her go on vacation, meet a random guy ( I couldn't make her actual fiancee... I like him and for what I had planned...eh...) She fell madly deeply in love and married him and then I killed her with fright.  He left her tombstone in the middle of a vacant lot.  She haunted no one.

You know... seeing all that in writing, I realize I might have a few anger problems.  Just a few.  Very small ones.

But the most important thing is that I'm good to work with her again.  Something about killing off a fiction representation of someone that you are extremely pissed off at that really makes you less angry at them.

So in other news, I am now a shift leader at work.  Tonight I had my first mock run of closing the store.  I am 80% sure that I won't burn the store down tomorrow on my first actual closing.

Okay 79.9999%....

I'll be fine, I got it.  I have a while bunch of people that believe in me and are willing to help if I need it.  I'm all good.

So really nothing else is new.

I started smoking again.  I admit that hoping that it will make me stop but since stress has decided to camp out so have the cigs.  They aren't budging and I'm not pushing.

Also, I really need to purge myself of my attraction to this really hot guy that I have fallen into the Friendzone with.  And not even the really awesome friendzone.  I could totally handle being in the friends with benefits zone.  But how do I say that to him?  God help me I tried to say it.  He came over before the movie the other day and promptly laid out on my bed and dammit it was all I could do not to just jump on the bed next to him.  I was a good freaking girl.  Dammit Dette.  Dammit dammit dammit.  Now I know why guys hate the friendzone.  Ladies, if you have guys in the friendzone, give them a hand up.  Give them a handjob.  No one deserve to be in the friendzone.  The friendzone sucks.  Period.Eliminate the freaking friendzone and make it the... I don't know... Still friends but you can solve a little problem for me from time to time zone...

I will make myself not like him.  I will make myself not like him.  I will not troll Tinder this Summer... Or maybe I will troll Tinder this summer.  Maybe I will meet a bit of fun... Summer can't be all about work can it?

I'm going to watch an episode of the new Sailor Moon and then go on to bed.  I need to be well rested for tomorrow night.

I will not make the other employees riot.
I will not burn the store down.
I will make it out of there with my sanity.

I will stop saying these stupid as hell affirmations to myself...

Pray for me y'all... Just pray...