Thunderstorms...

As the lightning lights up the sky here I'm thinking about the thunderstorms in my life.
So I bogged about the "friend" on my Facebook that basically too my bad mood and turned it into his.  I'm not talking to that person.  I was going to just let it all blow over, but this afternoon, I had to explain to my mom about the comment he put on my timeline that I deleted.
Apparently I wasn't fast enough when I deleted his demand that I talk to him.
Yeah... I try to keep my Facebook happenings as far away from my mom as I can keep them.  Yes she's my mom but I am also an adult who sometimes has a burst of foul language or off color humor.  Things I don't need my mother to see.  So she had no idea that I was being silent, that basically I wasn't in the best of moods (what can I say to that?  She's a little part of the problems in my life, so I naturally don't bring it up in conversation), or that I had had what could be called a mini confrontation.
Gee thanks.  Exactly how I wanted to spend the ride home from the gym.
So I'm thinking that this qualifies as one of those no no's that qualify me to be fully justified in doing a delete maneuver.
I hate Facebook deleted.  More importantly, I hate how Facebook deleted are like breaking off a relationship.  Being deleted on someone's Facebook has become the equivalent of a dear john letter only harsher.  One day you are there and the next day, you can't see a Damn thing because you been deleted.
I feel like that small woman that used to say, "You ARE the weakest link.  Goodbye!"
Gah! Part of me just wants him to delete me. 
Can someone please give me the manual on how not to piss your friends off cause I can't even seem to sit still in my own misery and not piss them off.

Almost a bad night...

So I guess it was to be expected sooner or later.  Once again I wasn't allowed to have a bad mood all to my little old self.  One of my people on Facebook basically cornered me into sort of talking to him.

When I made it clear that I didn't feel like talking at all he turned it around on him and made me the bad guy.

I mean dude! What the fuck?  I'm having a mental crisis over here in my tiny corner of the world but because I didn't tell you that I'm proud of you and congrats on something you did, I'm the big bitch.

Hang on, had to add Bitch to my phone's dictionary... Thought I added that when I added fuck...

So I finally said that I was ending the conversation before it got out of control.  Those actual words.  I didn't want to go off and say what I was really thinking which come on, was really along the lines of, "Fuck you! How dare you try to make me feel worse than I already do!  What the fuck is wrong with you? That's like spraying butter spray on the ledge when I've already got loose footing."

But I didn't say that, I said end it before it gets out of control.

And I intended to leave it there.

So of course two minutes later I'm looking at my newsfeed and see the following post:

"Gotta love how a good day goes to shit all because of one person."

Are you fucking kidding me right now?!? Are you goddam serious?!?  Wait lemme review that conversation... Nope I told you at least six times I did not want to talk and you kept pressing me and when I STILL refused to tell you what was going on you tried very hard to turn it so that the pity party was honouring you.

Wow.  Thank you for being such an awesome friend.   Thank you for putting me on blast to your whole newsfeed.  Maybe you forgot but I used to play the game of inquiring about those vague posts only to find out who hurt you via text.  So the.three people who responded probably now think I'm a bitch cause I'm so pretty sure the whole story wasn't told.

Wait... That kinda went from me telling about my night to ranting at one person didn't it?? Sorry about that.  I never actually mean for that to happen... It just does.

So I coped last night by making myself a drink and watching HIMYM on netflix.  I refuse to let one person bring me to the point of a sniveling apology and begging for their friendship because they decided they were more important.

To tell you the truth, I was a very good girl last night because when I saw his post, my first inclination was to delete him from my Facebook, but I didn't.

I'm having a problem with the delete button these days.  I want so badly to hit it but I don't.  I usually regret it later but I still don't do it when I should.

Know what? I'm going back to bed.  It's a cold morning and I really don't like those.

Have a good day, bloggies!!

Yeah so...

I straightened the girls hair.  Didn't do the braids but I did curl Kayla's so that she has something for me to work with in the morning.  I spent basically all afternoon chopping and slicing chicken breasts because I made the spaghetti with the chicken pieces in it and then I also made Chicken fried rice.  As usual, two batches.  One that Olivia will eat because it has no bean sprouts and no egg and one that pretty much everyone else will eat because it has the bean sprouts and the egg and sorta makes a fuller meal.

The neighbor kids left around seven my kids ate soon after.

I'm slowly coming up from my funk.  I had a conversation with someone today that may have cast a new light on some things and then may not have.  It may just be me getting sucked in again.  I don't know and at the moment with honestly, a half a glass of vodka in me, I don't care.

Still don't feel like posting on Facebook.  Every now and then someone drops me an email about they are sorry.  It's touching.  Not needed at all, but touching.  I just want to be by myself.  Why is that so hard for people to understand right now?  You know what?  I know a couple of people that read my blog that prefer to remain anonymous and they are basically sitting reading making sure I haven't offed myself and might probably say something when I decide to break my silence.

Just a thought, Yes, I did post an update about my friends daughter.  This, I don't think, counts as breaking my self imposed silence.  My church is praying for her and they take the updates from my page for bible study and prayer so since I'm not saying anything, just copy and pasting, I don 't count that as talking.

Hmm time to take my melatonin and go to bed.  I think I'll finish this episode of HIMYM while it takes affect...

Good night.  TTY tomorrow!