Ugh...

So I did the silent thing at work tonight.  IT wasn't totally on purpose, but it kinda was.  I get random migraines and when I do I have an EXTREMELY short fuse.  So short that you could tell me that the sky is blue and I will get pissed at you for telling me something that I not only already know but something that I could look up and discover for myself and then I'll get pissy because you don't think I can look up and see it which will lead to me getting pissy because you think I'm an idiot and the list is so freaking endless that it makes my head hurt worse to see if there is actually an end to said list.

So I keep silent.  Because I have anger issues.  And I have word vomit when the head hurts.  And the guard at the censorship gate just walks away.  So things and true feelings could come pouring out of my mouth that will make you hate me.  So I don't talk.  It's better to have friends and coworkers who will still work with you at the end of the day than to alienate them from the get go and be assed out.

Also, I need a shirt that says "Stop freaking asking me if I'm okay!"  Dammit if you see that I'm quiet and not smiling and you ask me once , that's okay.  If I say "i'm fine" that's generally code for no but I don't want to talk.  So drop it, please???  Just let me sort myself out.  It'll happen.  May not happen on your timetable but then.... I'm so not going to finish that.  Sometimes I can catch the word vomit.  Sometimes.

So I keep having a very weird dream.  I keep dreaming that I ask for a transfer to the University store and the GM, Jordan, and I fight like literal cartoon cats and dogs.  Every day all day.  But he won't or can't fire me.  I know why I ask for the transfer.  It's to avoid seeing someone that it's becoming increasingly hard to actually be around.

But I don't ever actually see me asking for a transfer to that store.  Never no way, no how, not going to happen.  I would rather quit first that go work there.  They are FOREVER running out of things and coming to our store to re up.  Like excuse me... No!  Just no.  Stop using so much and effing learn how to order the appropriate amount of shit on your own truck and stop mooching off of us!!  I can see needing stuff on Wednesday night right before truck... cause everyone runs out every now and again, usually RIGHT before payday/restocking.  That's just a way of life.  But to need supplies on truck day?!?!?  Are you serious?  No.  It's kinda good that I'm not a shift leader at work because honestly, I would look at the caller ID and just answer the phone with "No, dude.  No."  Or I'd pretend to go look for the stuff they ask for and come back and say "Sorry man, we can't spare it."  Or maybe the much nicer "Yeah sure you can have it but I want it back AS SOON as your truck comes in.  Like I'm going to send my driver up to your store to pick it up at ten A.M.  Yes I know, but I'll ask them to come in early just so they can come pick it up.  Oh?  You don't need it?  You can wait?  That's cool!  Bye!!"

I'm a bitch.  A pure unadulterated bitch.  I admit that... from time to time... I didn't say that.  I did not just say that.  Yes I did.  But I bet that fucker would start to use his supplies more wisely.

So it was brought up to me last night, why do I like the guy that I currently like.  My answer was hands, eyes, and voice.  While that's true, that's not totally true.  It's part of what keeps me attracted but there's something pulling me.  The first time I was in Howies and got to meet everyone, Joe says, "And this is XXXXXXX" I turned around and the air was sucked out of the room.  I don't know any other way to describe it but the air was sucked out of the room and in my mind bells started ringing.  I seriously doubt if he felt that way.  But I did.  I missed part of an important conversation for those damn bells.  When he shook my hand I felt like I never wanted to wash that sumbish again. (I did... several times.  I wash my hands maybe 90 times at work on an average week.)  And his eyes.  They're this blue grey that sees right into you and when he smiles they light up like fireworks.  The good silent but very bright ones.  His hands... oh... don't get me started on his hands.  They're actually bigger than my own which is really hard to find in guys because I got my father's hands.  They are large and more times than not fit a mans glove.  His fingers are skinnier than mine but his hands are bigger and Lord have mercy does he know what to do with them! I didn't say that.  I did not say that!....  He can lift me into the air and he doesn't have to strain or use a forklift.  No guy in my life has ever been able to.  And Heaven help me, he thinks I'm short.  My forehead is at his mouth.  As for his voice.  God I could sit and listen to him talk for hours.  Have.  His voice is so seductive.  Sometimes I sit and wonder if I'm just really really horney but then I walk into the kitchens and he's there and it's not my lower half that jumps for joy... it's my mind and my chest.  My lower half is all like "Yay, he's he's here... cool."  My head and my chest ae meanwhile doing jumping jacks and somersaults and high school cheers complete with pom poms. "2-4-6-8!  Who do we appreciate?? XXXXXXX! XXXXXXX! he's our guy! Yaaaaay!" And no it doesn't get annoying because only I can hear it and I have a very good poker face.

I suck crap at poker but I have a very good poker face.

Speaking of card games, does anyone in this damn town play gin?  I can't find a decent gin game to save my life.  I know where I can find a spades game but that requires me to hang out with the guys from work which isn't actually a problem but I'm not the best at spades and haven't played in a few years.  I don't play poker because I played strip once and lost.  Lost badly.  I'm pretty sure that the deck was somehow rigged so that I would loose badly but still.  Being the naked one in a room full of guys.... not so awesome.  Not always.  So no, Dette will not play poker.

I have Cher Lloyd's Swagger Jagger going through my head right now.  I just took my melatonin so maybe that will put her to sleep.  I doubt it.  The migraine meds which are thankfully working, combined with the night meds will probably have her singing the ish in the University store while Jordan and I are duking it out.

I really need to get to the bottom of my issue with him.  It cannot seriously be simply because he has no idea how to order a truck and make it last for a freaking week.  It can't be.  It just can't.  There's something else there and I cannot for the life of me figure it out.

Okay, I'm kinda babbling right now.  I recognize that, so I'm going to go and let my night meds kick in.  Tomorrow I have to try and fix my garbage disposal because it's jammed on something.... again and there's a piece of rancid chicken in there somewhere.  There has to be.  There can be no other explanation for why my kitchen and subsequently most of my house smells like a five day old chicken left in the sun.  This is going to be fun... Did you see the head twist that came with that last bit of sarcasm?  No?  It was there.  Trust me.

So I'm going to go and curl up under my blankets because it's cold in my house.  like a stupo, I left the AC on and set to like 68 degrees so my house is freaking antarctica right now.  And all I want is ice cream.

Oh two things.  Tonight I went to Chick fil a for some french fries and the woman at the window had candy stuck all over her shirt and in her hair.  She looked so damn much like Vaneelope From Wreck it Ralph (I actually called her Penelope pitstop.  Totally different character)  So I asked her Why she was dressed like Penelope Pitstop (Again I got the name wrong but...)  and she got so freaking excited and told me I was getting a free chicken tender meal because she had been dressed like that all day and while customers had asked why she had candy stuck to her they had never named her character.  The Davis Lake Chick fil A was showing Wreck it Ralph tonight and she was dressed as Vanellope.  I won free food.  Yay.  I used my chicken tender in a soft taco from taco Bell.  So I had Chick fil a chicken on top of taco bell beef and all wrapped up.  Yes it was good. No, I'm not pregnant.  you have to actually have sex for that to happen.

The second thing was that I had a golden night at work tonight... you know aside from the migraine and not talking thing... Not one customer stiffed me on tips.  One even gave me an $8 tip and one wanted to round her credit card out to $30 so I got 6.30.  Yaya for awesome customers!  Worked five to eleven and made $50+ dollars.  So yeah... tonight's customers were awesome sauce!

Yawn!  Going to hit the hay.  Stay Frosty bloggers!

Oh and can someone PLEASE tell me who is +1ing my posts via Google+?  Every single freaking post is +1'ed and I have no clue who it is so I can't thank them!!  Frustrating not to be able to say thank you sometimes.

Thank you!  Whoever you are!!

Goodnight... or rather morning... since I blogged myself into Saturday morning!

Ta!