They seriously stopped producing my stove in the seventies and they stopped selling it in the eighties. Parts started getting scarce in the nineties and were all but impossible to find in the two thousands. So here we are in twenty thirteen and I still have this reject stove from the seventies that picks and chooses when it wants to work. Like yesterday, you guys saw it, I rocked like no ones business. Today, it ruined two whole batches of cookies. And by batches I mean I made the recipe TWICE and over 60 cookies all came out the same... flat and brown and thin. Around seven I just gave up. I froze the remainder in oven ready balls but I have a feeling that they too are going to go flat and crispy and I'm just done.
So I was in Food lion this afternoon. I had to return the coffee I went out and bought my mom. (I bought her beans instead of ground Thursday at BJ's and she went and got a coffee grinder last night at Wal-Mart but found this morning it didn't work and the tone of her voice when she called me this morning said if you love me and you like your ears and living you will bring me coffee. So even though her voice said don't bother, my mind heard get your ass over here with coffee I got to her house and found that it was just that she didn't have enough strength in her hands to use the grinder. So I stood there and ground up the whole freaking bag and filled her coffee can, and went to Food Lion to return the one that I had bought her in case I couldn't get the grinder to work...) And I'm in line at customer service behind these two women that are all but screaming at the poor girl behind the counter because they want to return three cans of powdered baby formula and the rules of the store say you can't. Actually the rules of ALL stores that sell baby formula say that you can't return it in any way, at any time for any reason except if the store sold you expired formula. But anyway, she's trying hard to give this woman and her boss the dressing down of their lives and they're showing her in black and white that the policy of the store is that they can't take it back. They even said that they don't know why it wasn't posted on the door. (It's never been posted on the door) And the women are screaming that the cashier should have told them that they couldn't return them.
The cashier should have told them they couldn't return it?? It's freaking common knowledge. It really is. The cashier shouldn't have had to outright tell her... So of course the smaller one pulls out the s word. She's going to sue them. Over $45 worth of baby formula. Why do people always have to pulled out that word when businesses don't act like Burger King and let them have it their way?
Had all the kids today. They went out to play and then my house predictably turned into the rock band house. Did that ALL afternoon. Loudly. So yeah, this is probably going to be a short blog compared to ,y other ones.
I haven't read Wideacre. I've actually been writing when I wasn't playing or baking. Ideas of it just kinda popped into my head. Might do a little while I wait for my night meds to kick in.
So that's it for today. We have church tomorrow then we're having family dinner and I have to take the boy back to the ex's house. I kinda wish he lived with us, but I kinda don't. He's happier at his fathers and I'm happy to see him on the weekends. It's fine as it is. I want for my older niece to spend the night as well. I think she'd have fun here. Maybe work that out when it gets warmer.
Okay, that's it, I'm spent. Going to write a little and then head to bed.
Ciao bloggerinos!!
Love peace and Hair grease!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Just a typical Friday in the house....
I got up with every intention of going back to bed and lounging for a good part of the day... like all of it. I'm serious, I had every single plan of sitting in my bed and alternately sleeping and reading/finishing Wideacre and maybe starting The Favored Child.
And then I got out of bed to do Liv's hair and it just didn't feel right to get back into it. What the hell is wrong with me? It used to be that if I actually got out of bed, my day consisted of doing everything possible to divert my feet from making a beeline back to it, now once I get out of it, I don't usually get back in until nightfall... I swear if my bed could walk and talk it would do a parental abduction on me or at least sue reality for custody...
So since I was up, I decided to go make jewelry. I'm working on an orange necklace. I don't have orange. Well I do but I want another one. I was going strong on that one until I remembered the church meeting was tonight and this was my chance to give Tammey her cupcakes and her mother her brownies. I know I said that we could wait until Christmas since she wasn't able to bring me pans but I found a deal on 18 foil pans at BJ's yesterday so I figured let's do this! So I started with the glass to make the Cracked Glass Cupcakes when I got that done (Which honestly I should have done last night, I realize now) I started on the red velvet cupcakes. In the middle of those I had to stop and go to Kay;'s school but that was a five minute trip so whatev...
So I got home and baked those. While I was baking those, I started on the brownies...
They all came out really well. I'm kinda certain that one of the bottoms might be a little crispy but I'm allowed a little bit of burn sometimes. At least that's what I'm telling myself...
Anyway, they came out looking like this...
So I sat down to write this blog post and I realized that Mrs. Ware said she wanted Peanut butter as well so here I go. Back to the kitchen. Those are in the oven and with the leftover dough for the peanut butter ones I added some chocolate chips and put them on a pan. Those will be for me. I get to be selfish...
So in a few minutes I'm going to go get the last of the brownies and let them cool for a bit. I have to be out of here by six thirty to go get mommy which means I have to have them cooled and bagged by then. I have been baking since about eleven this morning and I have to admit, I'm tired. Briefly wanted Facebook back today if only to post these pictures, but my blog is good enough.
Told you I could do Donna Reed better than Donna....
Heh!!!
See you at the end of the night loves!! Might do the O blog tonight. I got a topic that's not Orgasm!! I'm kinda excited!!
By the way, I still have some baking supplies left but only because I need like five dozen sugar cookies and more brownies within the next three weeks....
And then I got out of bed to do Liv's hair and it just didn't feel right to get back into it. What the hell is wrong with me? It used to be that if I actually got out of bed, my day consisted of doing everything possible to divert my feet from making a beeline back to it, now once I get out of it, I don't usually get back in until nightfall... I swear if my bed could walk and talk it would do a parental abduction on me or at least sue reality for custody...
So since I was up, I decided to go make jewelry. I'm working on an orange necklace. I don't have orange. Well I do but I want another one. I was going strong on that one until I remembered the church meeting was tonight and this was my chance to give Tammey her cupcakes and her mother her brownies. I know I said that we could wait until Christmas since she wasn't able to bring me pans but I found a deal on 18 foil pans at BJ's yesterday so I figured let's do this! So I started with the glass to make the Cracked Glass Cupcakes when I got that done (Which honestly I should have done last night, I realize now) I started on the red velvet cupcakes. In the middle of those I had to stop and go to Kay;'s school but that was a five minute trip so whatev...
So I got home and baked those. While I was baking those, I started on the brownies...
There's a pan missing but only because I couldn't fit it in the picture... You can see the second batch of cupcakes right above it. Excuse my messy table... And that pile on the floor. Livy refuses to clean it up. I don't know why...
Then I started the cookie dough so I could drop it into the brownie pans. When that was done I loaded the pastry bag and iced Tammey's cupcakes. Used the small circle tip. I need to find connectors for the large tips. I guess I should go to Wilton's online store and try to find them.... Anyway... They came out looking like this... The glass hasn't hardened yet so if it doesn't, they will be delivered as such...
She wanted Cream Cheese frosting. Blech! Aside from the fact that I can't each cheese in any form, I just don't like the frosting. Of the dozen left, seven of those got the rest of the frosting and five were left bare.
I had a little down time after that but not much cause I had to check the brownie/cookies...
Anyway, they came out looking like this...
So I sat down to write this blog post and I realized that Mrs. Ware said she wanted Peanut butter as well so here I go. Back to the kitchen. Those are in the oven and with the leftover dough for the peanut butter ones I added some chocolate chips and put them on a pan. Those will be for me. I get to be selfish...
So in a few minutes I'm going to go get the last of the brownies and let them cool for a bit. I have to be out of here by six thirty to go get mommy which means I have to have them cooled and bagged by then. I have been baking since about eleven this morning and I have to admit, I'm tired. Briefly wanted Facebook back today if only to post these pictures, but my blog is good enough.
Told you I could do Donna Reed better than Donna....
Heh!!!
See you at the end of the night loves!! Might do the O blog tonight. I got a topic that's not Orgasm!! I'm kinda excited!!
By the way, I still have some baking supplies left but only because I need like five dozen sugar cookies and more brownies within the next three weeks....
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Long day
Yeah... a very long day. They cut my food stamps. Well, they cut everyone's food stamps. I lost about $40. Huge inconvenience! I don't know how I'm going to survive!! This is a travesty!! Did that last bit make my sarcasm stink too much? :-)
I'm a food hoarder. I will always have food in my house 90% of it will be the ingredients to make something from scratch. I don't do pre-made unless it's one of my exceptions... like spam. I love spam. You will never take my spam away from me.
So no cutting my stamps isn't going to kill me.
I have an irk that never fails to happen when I go grocery shopping. See I go shopping by the month since I pretty much HATE doing the weekly and bi-weekly thing. What never fails to happen is, when I am in the store with two heavy carts or a heavy cart and my moms cart heavy someone never ever fails to say "Wow, your cupboards must be bare!" or "You must be shopping for a football team!" Or even something to that effect. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I explain about monthly shopping, and still sometimes, I just nod and keep at my business. Today, it happened in the store and in the parking lot. Why can't people mind their own business?? I mean if I see a cute guy who has a case of beer in the store, I might say, "Oh, I'm going to your house, you have the beer!" I don't expect an answer, only a smile from said cute guy. More often than not, I get a small explanation of why he has the case of beer and a nice smile and we go our separate ways. But to make a statement like I must be shopping for a football team or my cupboards must be bare.... admittedly the second one pissed me off more than the first... ugh. The lady in the parking lot that stopped and said I must have bare cupboards actually stopped like she expected an answer. Well not like she expected it. She stood there until I told her I do my shopping by the month. Then she gave me a sad little upper class looking down on the serfs smile and walked on.
Left me thinking WTF? But I said nothing. I always try to say nothing. I don't like being that angry black person. I hate being perceived that way.
Yes, I care about what others think about me. I worry about my public image. I try hard not to worry about my weight because that's a serious problem with me. When I'm happy I don't eat, I lose weight. When my life kinda sucks I eat too much or I eat the wrong things and I blow up. This causes me to get depressed and I don't eat and I lose weight. This causes my mom to notice and nag at me or throw out her ninja star weapon "I'm worried about you." so I start to eat and I don't know when to stop or what to put in my mouth and the cycle starts all over again conveniently skipping the I'm happy stage.
When I was first married, I didn't eat for hours but I was having sex so when I lost weight, I was losing it in the right places. If I was hungry I had a salad or a plate of dinner half the size or what I normally ate. It was all good. When my divorce was upon me, I didn't eat because eating reminded me I was alive. No sex meant for a minute there I looked like a bag of skin.
When I moved to Jersey and was marginally happy, I walked everywhere I could, I ran, I played with my kids, I didn't spend my time eating. I'm trying to get back to that happy place but I have one roadblock and it's hell jumping over it.
Remember that crush I mentioned a month or so or more ago? The one that I said i had no idea where it came from and I don't really understand it all. And it's not that we are two different races, it's that we are two different people at ends of the spectrum so polar to each other that if we stood in our spots, I'm not sure we could see each other. He's a little bit country, I pretend to be a little bit rock and roll. He's stoic and knows his course, and I'm as flappable as the wind. If it says go this way, I breeze that way. He drives slow enough down the road to see the scenery and I drive fast enough that I can barely see the people I pass flipping me off... But I can't shake it. I can't shake him. I refuse to delete his texts because in my low moment, I sit and read every single one of them and smile like an idiot. For a moment I feel great and then I realize it'll likely never be and I don't get sad, I get confused as to why.
I just don't understand. I have dreamed of my future husband for years. The man I've dreamed about is an architect. He has a huge family and above all, he's got a Texas Drawl. I think... The man in my dreams that has been there for years has fuzzed over into the crush I can't do anything about.
I don't wish I could change things because truth be told, I've wished on so many stars that space is full of my whispering. Wherever birthday wishes go is full of them too. But it's okay because my wishes keep me warm at night, I guess. (Hey gutter mind.... no! uh uh! I'm shaking my finger at you in a school marm fashion.)
Sigh. I tanked my left elbow somewhere and it's killing me. Nothing I have has helped and moving it is becoming torture. It's been hurting for a few days but today is the first time I let out that it hurt. Probably because I was lifting the groceries. Does anyone else hear a electric guitar play a really loud bad chord when they get a pain? It can't be just me.
I'm forgetting something... oh right... Wildacre...
I didn't get very far between last night and today because I was busy all day but I did read this morning. Bea had the baby, her husband came home and saw that he was a full term baby, not a month early baby. She lied and said that some brigand forced her. husband got piss freaking drunk and while she was in the parlor with brother, he begged her for a little booty. Well actually he begged her for the room of pain (This is fifty shades of grey's red room of pain circa 1700's England) but she refused and told him that he could have her there in the parlor. In the middle of it all, Mommy walks in and her heart fails her. They get her to her bed and she's mumbling in her delirium and Bea knows it's a matter of time. They wake the doc hubby who says to give her a dose of laudanum every four hours but Bea lies and says that he said to give her the whole freaking vial of it. Moms dead. They bury her but the hubs has figured out what his mother in laws ramblings meant and now he gets drunk every night. Bea has threatened to spread word that he was so drunk he told them the wrong does resulting in the death of her mom. So now he has to keep quiet. Oh and Ralph the gamekeepers son is back. No leg but he's back. He's burning down farms. Bea is scared now.
I didn't know Phillipa Gregory could write such twisted ish like this... Damn...
So I'm gonna log off and go to sleep. I have a big day ahead of me. I'm going to try and bake the cupcakes and brownies for the church ladies tomorrow. At the moment, I'm making Apple oat bread and it smells so good. I'm not going to eat it because I don't really do Oatmeal, but the smell is making my mouth water.
I love the holiday season! I love being at home and baking and tidying! I just wish I could decorate and do the whole happy homemaker thing. I could do Donna Reed better than Donna herself did it. And I would enjoy it. Heh.
Okay, breads done, I'm going to get it out of the pan while it's still warm and put it in the bag. I'm sure the girls will tear into it, it the morning.
Goodnight, guys!
Oh and I was actually tempted to go on facebook today but I resisted it. I'm proud of myself in that.
I'm a food hoarder. I will always have food in my house 90% of it will be the ingredients to make something from scratch. I don't do pre-made unless it's one of my exceptions... like spam. I love spam. You will never take my spam away from me.
So no cutting my stamps isn't going to kill me.
I have an irk that never fails to happen when I go grocery shopping. See I go shopping by the month since I pretty much HATE doing the weekly and bi-weekly thing. What never fails to happen is, when I am in the store with two heavy carts or a heavy cart and my moms cart heavy someone never ever fails to say "Wow, your cupboards must be bare!" or "You must be shopping for a football team!" Or even something to that effect. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I explain about monthly shopping, and still sometimes, I just nod and keep at my business. Today, it happened in the store and in the parking lot. Why can't people mind their own business?? I mean if I see a cute guy who has a case of beer in the store, I might say, "Oh, I'm going to your house, you have the beer!" I don't expect an answer, only a smile from said cute guy. More often than not, I get a small explanation of why he has the case of beer and a nice smile and we go our separate ways. But to make a statement like I must be shopping for a football team or my cupboards must be bare.... admittedly the second one pissed me off more than the first... ugh. The lady in the parking lot that stopped and said I must have bare cupboards actually stopped like she expected an answer. Well not like she expected it. She stood there until I told her I do my shopping by the month. Then she gave me a sad little upper class looking down on the serfs smile and walked on.
Left me thinking WTF? But I said nothing. I always try to say nothing. I don't like being that angry black person. I hate being perceived that way.
Yes, I care about what others think about me. I worry about my public image. I try hard not to worry about my weight because that's a serious problem with me. When I'm happy I don't eat, I lose weight. When my life kinda sucks I eat too much or I eat the wrong things and I blow up. This causes me to get depressed and I don't eat and I lose weight. This causes my mom to notice and nag at me or throw out her ninja star weapon "I'm worried about you." so I start to eat and I don't know when to stop or what to put in my mouth and the cycle starts all over again conveniently skipping the I'm happy stage.
When I was first married, I didn't eat for hours but I was having sex so when I lost weight, I was losing it in the right places. If I was hungry I had a salad or a plate of dinner half the size or what I normally ate. It was all good. When my divorce was upon me, I didn't eat because eating reminded me I was alive. No sex meant for a minute there I looked like a bag of skin.
When I moved to Jersey and was marginally happy, I walked everywhere I could, I ran, I played with my kids, I didn't spend my time eating. I'm trying to get back to that happy place but I have one roadblock and it's hell jumping over it.
Remember that crush I mentioned a month or so or more ago? The one that I said i had no idea where it came from and I don't really understand it all. And it's not that we are two different races, it's that we are two different people at ends of the spectrum so polar to each other that if we stood in our spots, I'm not sure we could see each other. He's a little bit country, I pretend to be a little bit rock and roll. He's stoic and knows his course, and I'm as flappable as the wind. If it says go this way, I breeze that way. He drives slow enough down the road to see the scenery and I drive fast enough that I can barely see the people I pass flipping me off... But I can't shake it. I can't shake him. I refuse to delete his texts because in my low moment, I sit and read every single one of them and smile like an idiot. For a moment I feel great and then I realize it'll likely never be and I don't get sad, I get confused as to why.
I just don't understand. I have dreamed of my future husband for years. The man I've dreamed about is an architect. He has a huge family and above all, he's got a Texas Drawl. I think... The man in my dreams that has been there for years has fuzzed over into the crush I can't do anything about.
I don't wish I could change things because truth be told, I've wished on so many stars that space is full of my whispering. Wherever birthday wishes go is full of them too. But it's okay because my wishes keep me warm at night, I guess. (Hey gutter mind.... no! uh uh! I'm shaking my finger at you in a school marm fashion.)
Sigh. I tanked my left elbow somewhere and it's killing me. Nothing I have has helped and moving it is becoming torture. It's been hurting for a few days but today is the first time I let out that it hurt. Probably because I was lifting the groceries. Does anyone else hear a electric guitar play a really loud bad chord when they get a pain? It can't be just me.
I'm forgetting something... oh right... Wildacre...
I didn't get very far between last night and today because I was busy all day but I did read this morning. Bea had the baby, her husband came home and saw that he was a full term baby, not a month early baby. She lied and said that some brigand forced her. husband got piss freaking drunk and while she was in the parlor with brother, he begged her for a little booty. Well actually he begged her for the room of pain (This is fifty shades of grey's red room of pain circa 1700's England) but she refused and told him that he could have her there in the parlor. In the middle of it all, Mommy walks in and her heart fails her. They get her to her bed and she's mumbling in her delirium and Bea knows it's a matter of time. They wake the doc hubby who says to give her a dose of laudanum every four hours but Bea lies and says that he said to give her the whole freaking vial of it. Moms dead. They bury her but the hubs has figured out what his mother in laws ramblings meant and now he gets drunk every night. Bea has threatened to spread word that he was so drunk he told them the wrong does resulting in the death of her mom. So now he has to keep quiet. Oh and Ralph the gamekeepers son is back. No leg but he's back. He's burning down farms. Bea is scared now.
I didn't know Phillipa Gregory could write such twisted ish like this... Damn...
So I'm gonna log off and go to sleep. I have a big day ahead of me. I'm going to try and bake the cupcakes and brownies for the church ladies tomorrow. At the moment, I'm making Apple oat bread and it smells so good. I'm not going to eat it because I don't really do Oatmeal, but the smell is making my mouth water.
I love the holiday season! I love being at home and baking and tidying! I just wish I could decorate and do the whole happy homemaker thing. I could do Donna Reed better than Donna herself did it. And I would enjoy it. Heh.
Okay, breads done, I'm going to get it out of the pan while it's still warm and put it in the bag. I'm sure the girls will tear into it, it the morning.
Goodnight, guys!
Oh and I was actually tempted to go on facebook today but I resisted it. I'm proud of myself in that.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Day Three
I think I am going to stop saying "on the planet with no Facebook" because quite honestly, it's every freaking where I go. The Devil is trying very hard to tempt me back to the social media. Everywhere I go, someone is checking it and telling me to look at something on it.
It's funny. Looking at people's facebooks raises no desire to go back to mine. And I know I say that every day but it's a daily affirmation I need to say a couple of times a day. I don't know why but I do.
I have Some exciting news!!! I got an email this morning from my BFF Denise!!! She had her baby!!! 6 lbs 12 oz and he's BEAUTIFUL!!!! I wish I lived closer so I could see him in person!!!
It's times like this that make me miss New Jersey. When my friends have babies I just want to be there to cuddle and coo. But then I remember the drifts of snow from the two blizzards of 2009 and I think of the pictures of Hurricane Sandy (I don't care what they say that should not have been downgraded to tropical storm), the landlord that a complete and total turd, and the horrible horrible boss that made my job a living nightmare eventually and I am not sorry I moved. I'm actually sorry I didn't leave sooner.
And while I'm on the subject... Did I miss a memo or something in NJ that says y'all need to move down here?? In the last three or so weeks, I have seen a serious increase in cars from New Jersey. I don't know if they are visiting or if they have moved here but damn! Every fifth car seems like is from Jersey... not that I'm counting or anything. I do know that three of my new neighbormates (People in the neighborhood) are from Jersey. I'm tempted to go to them and ask where in Jersey? Why did they come here? When might they be going back?
Don't get me wrong. If my friends in NJ decided to come relocate down here, I would probably be thrilled as punch. One of them is a teacher so I would make sure I moved to the CMS school district she worked in cause then my kids would get a freaking awesome education. One of them works with her parents so her moving down here would probably mean they want to open a Charlotte office and I would work so hard at getting a job there. I'm sorry I like connection and I would beg and plead for that, lol. One is into wrestling so there'd always be a party at his house because WWE is ALWAYS down here in someway and somehow. Of course it would mean going to a wrestling party and I quite dislike wrestling but hey it's a party!
(Understand that at this point I have to admit that I typed that last part like three hours ago and have since gotten up and did a few hundred things so I have no idea where I was going with that... Let's continue now.)
So I got farther in Wildacre today and I think I stopped at Bea had weaseled her way onto her brother's honeymoon trip because she was (shudder) sleeping with her brother. (Gag) well about two weeks into the trip, she realized she was pregnant. Gasp! She tried to lose it by getting on a bad horse and getting thrown but the baby stayed where it was so she came up with a plan to get her new sister in law to raise it as her own. Sister girl was afraid of sex. Like deathly afraid of it and she and bro had done it one time. They figured if she made him think that she had conceived off that one time she would be set for life. He bought it, brother rushed home because Mom was sick leaving the ladies in France where Bea gave birth to brother's daughter. Sissy took the baby and formed like an immediate bond. A serious one and Bea was all too happy to give it up because she hoped it would be a boy who would inherit the farm and one day she could tell him that she was his mother not sissy. NO such luck. So they return home with this newborn who's happy and healthy and EVERYONE falls in love with this kid. But Bea is now finding herself being courted by the country doctor who comes from a family richer than hers but she doesn't want to marry him because he will take her back to Scotland. This takes her from the farm, so NO! So now I'm at the part where she has decided to go dominatrix on her submissive brother. I think I have only wanted to throw the book at a wall about three times today.
Just finished setting the bread maker to make the second bread of the day. The sandwich squad goes through so much bread it really is cheaper to keep the ingredients in the house rather than run to the store every few days for a loaf and I refuse to buy in bulk and freeze because even I hate thawed bread. It's yucky. Besides if i make it, I know all the ingredients in it and can pronounce every one of them. Some of these commercial breads... hmmm..... It's surprising how many breads use honey as the sugar when commercial bakers use high fructose corn syrup. Not that I have anything against HFCS but still.. I'll stick to my honey.
So two things happened today that I haven't mentioned. First of all, my libby left the house this morning looking like this:
Okay to me it looks like there are two video boxes so if this uploads twice I apologize as I've never done a video of my own before...
I'm tired now and it's midnight. Toodle-oo Bloggers!!
See ya tomorrow!
It's funny. Looking at people's facebooks raises no desire to go back to mine. And I know I say that every day but it's a daily affirmation I need to say a couple of times a day. I don't know why but I do.
I have Some exciting news!!! I got an email this morning from my BFF Denise!!! She had her baby!!! 6 lbs 12 oz and he's BEAUTIFUL!!!! I wish I lived closer so I could see him in person!!!
It's times like this that make me miss New Jersey. When my friends have babies I just want to be there to cuddle and coo. But then I remember the drifts of snow from the two blizzards of 2009 and I think of the pictures of Hurricane Sandy (I don't care what they say that should not have been downgraded to tropical storm), the landlord that a complete and total turd, and the horrible horrible boss that made my job a living nightmare eventually and I am not sorry I moved. I'm actually sorry I didn't leave sooner.
And while I'm on the subject... Did I miss a memo or something in NJ that says y'all need to move down here?? In the last three or so weeks, I have seen a serious increase in cars from New Jersey. I don't know if they are visiting or if they have moved here but damn! Every fifth car seems like is from Jersey... not that I'm counting or anything. I do know that three of my new neighbormates (People in the neighborhood) are from Jersey. I'm tempted to go to them and ask where in Jersey? Why did they come here? When might they be going back?
Don't get me wrong. If my friends in NJ decided to come relocate down here, I would probably be thrilled as punch. One of them is a teacher so I would make sure I moved to the CMS school district she worked in cause then my kids would get a freaking awesome education. One of them works with her parents so her moving down here would probably mean they want to open a Charlotte office and I would work so hard at getting a job there. I'm sorry I like connection and I would beg and plead for that, lol. One is into wrestling so there'd always be a party at his house because WWE is ALWAYS down here in someway and somehow. Of course it would mean going to a wrestling party and I quite dislike wrestling but hey it's a party!
(Understand that at this point I have to admit that I typed that last part like three hours ago and have since gotten up and did a few hundred things so I have no idea where I was going with that... Let's continue now.)
So I got farther in Wildacre today and I think I stopped at Bea had weaseled her way onto her brother's honeymoon trip because she was (shudder) sleeping with her brother. (Gag) well about two weeks into the trip, she realized she was pregnant. Gasp! She tried to lose it by getting on a bad horse and getting thrown but the baby stayed where it was so she came up with a plan to get her new sister in law to raise it as her own. Sister girl was afraid of sex. Like deathly afraid of it and she and bro had done it one time. They figured if she made him think that she had conceived off that one time she would be set for life. He bought it, brother rushed home because Mom was sick leaving the ladies in France where Bea gave birth to brother's daughter. Sissy took the baby and formed like an immediate bond. A serious one and Bea was all too happy to give it up because she hoped it would be a boy who would inherit the farm and one day she could tell him that she was his mother not sissy. NO such luck. So they return home with this newborn who's happy and healthy and EVERYONE falls in love with this kid. But Bea is now finding herself being courted by the country doctor who comes from a family richer than hers but she doesn't want to marry him because he will take her back to Scotland. This takes her from the farm, so NO! So now I'm at the part where she has decided to go dominatrix on her submissive brother. I think I have only wanted to throw the book at a wall about three times today.
Just finished setting the bread maker to make the second bread of the day. The sandwich squad goes through so much bread it really is cheaper to keep the ingredients in the house rather than run to the store every few days for a loaf and I refuse to buy in bulk and freeze because even I hate thawed bread. It's yucky. Besides if i make it, I know all the ingredients in it and can pronounce every one of them. Some of these commercial breads... hmmm..... It's surprising how many breads use honey as the sugar when commercial bakers use high fructose corn syrup. Not that I have anything against HFCS but still.. I'll stick to my honey.
So two things happened today that I haven't mentioned. First of all, my libby left the house this morning looking like this:
And came back looking like this:
That's right!! Today was braces removal day!! I wish I had had Dr. Prettyman (Yes that is his real name) when I was a teenager! I had a guy named Dr. McIntyre and that man kept me in braces from the day after 8th grade ended to the day before my senior prom. I matched four picture day outfits and one prom gown to my braces. Countless dance dresses, and even matched my braces to the band uniform and or different holidays (orange and black for Halloween red and green for Christmas, etc...) When it came to the senior prom, I was NOT matching my mouth to my dress and I barged into his office and told him that after four years these tings were coming off if I had to take a pair of pliers to them. I had had enough! The truth was he was enjoying the benefits of my mothers insurance. It's okay it bit him in the ass in the end. I heard he was put in prison for taxes, embezzling, and insurance fraud not too long ago. I wonder how he justified keeping my braces on on paperwork? Resistant tooth bone structure? lol
Anyway, the second thing that happened today was Liv had to do a rap for her vocabulary words for homework and I think between the two of us, she has an A+...
I'm tired now and it's midnight. Toodle-oo Bloggers!!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Day 2 on the planet with no Facebook...
So another day has passed and the apple was put before Eve.
My mother had Facebook on the entire time I was at her house and I glanced at it but remarkably, I wasn't tempted to go on my own. I'm starting to think that I wasn't as attached to it as I thought I was. I would say maybe the need to separate myself from it was all in my head. Whatever, I'm not going back just yet. I actually enjoy my phone having a spaz attack every time it refreshes and tries to log on but hits a brick wall. IT all but begs me for an updated password and I have nothing for it.
This is actually the most fun I have all day.
I started a new book. It's called Wildacre and oh man, this ish is off the chain. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
First this girls started off loving her papa and being raised on the family farm estate and loving the land more than life itself and her older brother was sent away to school. Then as she grew her father told her that as a girl she got nothing, her brother the bookworm. Somewhere around fifteen she has a summer long affair with the Gamekeepers son and it's kinda hot actually. But then the brother comes home and the father begins to favor the son over the girl and she and her lover talk for like five minutes about killing the dad and cheating the son so bad that he goes bankrupt and they buy the farm and live the life of riley. She wakes up the next morning realizing that she was kinda horney and didn't mean it when she agreed that her father could have an accident but she doesn't reach lover boy in time and Papa has an accident that afternoon and son is in charge. Girl is all bloodthirsty because she loved her papa and she sets a man sized bear trap for lover boy and leaves him to bleed out but he doesn't and his body and his mom disappear. Time passes and little miss hot and horney begins to get very unsister like feelings for her brother (Eww) (Seriously EWWW) and it takes her a couple of weeks but she achieves her goal and he falls in love with her and within the first 24 hours of this sick affair I can count that they've screwed five times. (Did I say EEEEWWW? Cause... EEEWWWW) But now brother is getting married and she's weaseled her way on their honeymoon so she and brother can continue sleeping with each other. Then she hears from the fiancee's mom that there's been bread riots in the north led by a one legged man on a big black horse that has two big dogs and can reload his pistol while on horseback. Apparently lover boy that she left for dead after the man trap killed one of his kneecaps had two black dogs, if he survived, he would have one leg and he could reload his gun while riding a horse. So now she thinks that he's going to come and get her for leaving him to die after he stepped into her revenge you die now trap. Add that to the fact that she's kinda getting the hots for the country doctor that's treating her for her new found anxiety.
IT's like a train wreck, You can't look away. I have wanted to throw the book across the room because it's grossed me out like soo many times but I can't, it's just... like I said, I can't look away.
I'm having a bit of a drink. A vanilla flavored black russian. I love the feeling of immense warmth that spreads through your body when you have a good drink. It's like an Orgasm that you can feel from head to toe.
Speaking of Orgasms, I'm leaning toward making that my O blog. But I'm not sure about that considering that my experience with this is rudimentary at best. I mean my whole married life I didn't have one sober orgasm. I'm not sure if I ever had them drunk although he says I did. But then I earned a Woody award for best pornographic scream. He bought it for over nine years.
I have had a couple. And I mean that... a couple. The last guy I slept with managed to acquaint me with it but not very well.
I'd like to be better acquainted with them. One day. Soon.
I have a little more thinking to do on that blog hence why it's not up yet.
So back to my book...
Ciao Bellas!
My mother had Facebook on the entire time I was at her house and I glanced at it but remarkably, I wasn't tempted to go on my own. I'm starting to think that I wasn't as attached to it as I thought I was. I would say maybe the need to separate myself from it was all in my head. Whatever, I'm not going back just yet. I actually enjoy my phone having a spaz attack every time it refreshes and tries to log on but hits a brick wall. IT all but begs me for an updated password and I have nothing for it.
This is actually the most fun I have all day.
I started a new book. It's called Wildacre and oh man, this ish is off the chain. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
First this girls started off loving her papa and being raised on the family farm estate and loving the land more than life itself and her older brother was sent away to school. Then as she grew her father told her that as a girl she got nothing, her brother the bookworm. Somewhere around fifteen she has a summer long affair with the Gamekeepers son and it's kinda hot actually. But then the brother comes home and the father begins to favor the son over the girl and she and her lover talk for like five minutes about killing the dad and cheating the son so bad that he goes bankrupt and they buy the farm and live the life of riley. She wakes up the next morning realizing that she was kinda horney and didn't mean it when she agreed that her father could have an accident but she doesn't reach lover boy in time and Papa has an accident that afternoon and son is in charge. Girl is all bloodthirsty because she loved her papa and she sets a man sized bear trap for lover boy and leaves him to bleed out but he doesn't and his body and his mom disappear. Time passes and little miss hot and horney begins to get very unsister like feelings for her brother (Eww) (Seriously EWWW) and it takes her a couple of weeks but she achieves her goal and he falls in love with her and within the first 24 hours of this sick affair I can count that they've screwed five times. (Did I say EEEEWWW? Cause... EEEWWWW) But now brother is getting married and she's weaseled her way on their honeymoon so she and brother can continue sleeping with each other. Then she hears from the fiancee's mom that there's been bread riots in the north led by a one legged man on a big black horse that has two big dogs and can reload his pistol while on horseback. Apparently lover boy that she left for dead after the man trap killed one of his kneecaps had two black dogs, if he survived, he would have one leg and he could reload his gun while riding a horse. So now she thinks that he's going to come and get her for leaving him to die after he stepped into her revenge you die now trap. Add that to the fact that she's kinda getting the hots for the country doctor that's treating her for her new found anxiety.
IT's like a train wreck, You can't look away. I have wanted to throw the book across the room because it's grossed me out like soo many times but I can't, it's just... like I said, I can't look away.
I'm having a bit of a drink. A vanilla flavored black russian. I love the feeling of immense warmth that spreads through your body when you have a good drink. It's like an Orgasm that you can feel from head to toe.
Speaking of Orgasms, I'm leaning toward making that my O blog. But I'm not sure about that considering that my experience with this is rudimentary at best. I mean my whole married life I didn't have one sober orgasm. I'm not sure if I ever had them drunk although he says I did. But then I earned a Woody award for best pornographic scream. He bought it for over nine years.
I have had a couple. And I mean that... a couple. The last guy I slept with managed to acquaint me with it but not very well.
I'd like to be better acquainted with them. One day. Soon.
I have a little more thinking to do on that blog hence why it's not up yet.
So back to my book...
Ciao Bellas!
Monday, November 18, 2013
Day one on the planet with no Facebook...
I was tempted, bloggers. I was well and truly tempted for about ten minutes to reactivate my FB.
But then I got up and I cleaned the living room and it was all good and in between cleaning I managed to sort out my jewelry supplies as well as make soup.
As a matter of fact, I'm sitting here eating said soup and it is sooooo goood! I love it when experimenting goes well. Wanna see?
Okay...
I usually make either beef stew or chicken soup but lately I've been mixing the two and making this beef/chicken soup that is banging if I do it right. Well tonight I added Shrimp! Yes I cut up pieces of jumbo shrimp and O.M.G! It's awesome. The girls are in the dining room eating it with thick pieces of Homemade honey Wheat bread...
The best part of cooking is watching other people eat it with that look on their face. After I cut the bread, Liv looked up at me and said "okay thanks! You can go now" WITH a glob halfway to her mouth. I could have been offended you know the whole dismissing me from the room thing, but she said it with a laugh and as a parent you have to pick and choose your battles. This wasn't even a fight.
So tonight is the game between the Panthers and the Patriots. Supposedly both teams are 5-0 and only one can win tonight. Tickets for the Panthers now start at $100 and go up past $2,000 for seats thanks to them winning so much. It's kinda an unheard of thing. They just don't do that. Like ever. They suck. Well, I guess I can't say that at the moment. They're on a winning streak.
Okay, I need to get up and do something before the itis sets in. Cause oh man! I'm full! I love soup. I want to make cupcakes. I feel a baking binge coming on a few days early. I have to bake most of Friday so I wasn't looking forward to baking until Friday but man I want some cupcakes...
Okay, I'm going to do something. Dunno what but I have to get up...
But then I got up and I cleaned the living room and it was all good and in between cleaning I managed to sort out my jewelry supplies as well as make soup.
As a matter of fact, I'm sitting here eating said soup and it is sooooo goood! I love it when experimenting goes well. Wanna see?
Okay...
I usually make either beef stew or chicken soup but lately I've been mixing the two and making this beef/chicken soup that is banging if I do it right. Well tonight I added Shrimp! Yes I cut up pieces of jumbo shrimp and O.M.G! It's awesome. The girls are in the dining room eating it with thick pieces of Homemade honey Wheat bread...
The best part of cooking is watching other people eat it with that look on their face. After I cut the bread, Liv looked up at me and said "okay thanks! You can go now" WITH a glob halfway to her mouth. I could have been offended you know the whole dismissing me from the room thing, but she said it with a laugh and as a parent you have to pick and choose your battles. This wasn't even a fight.
So tonight is the game between the Panthers and the Patriots. Supposedly both teams are 5-0 and only one can win tonight. Tickets for the Panthers now start at $100 and go up past $2,000 for seats thanks to them winning so much. It's kinda an unheard of thing. They just don't do that. Like ever. They suck. Well, I guess I can't say that at the moment. They're on a winning streak.
Okay, I need to get up and do something before the itis sets in. Cause oh man! I'm full! I love soup. I want to make cupcakes. I feel a baking binge coming on a few days early. I have to bake most of Friday so I wasn't looking forward to baking until Friday but man I want some cupcakes...
Okay, I'm going to do something. Dunno what but I have to get up...
Deactivation
So late last night I deactivated my Facebook.. Whether this was a cry for help or me finally getting fed up, I don't know but I do know that as long as my will not to be connected at the hip and mouth to the social network holds out, I will leave as such.
I did regret some friends that I lost when my oh so freaking smart phone clued in that I no longer had an active account and deleted people from the contacts list but I logged on and reactivated this morning long enough to stare a few pictures and send those people a message.
A very small part of me wants to see how long it will take some people to notice I've left. I'm a serial poster so if they've ever read any of my stuff then they may or may not notice right off the back. It may take a few days as I do tend to take breaks every now and then, just not to this degree. I have always been able to be reached by Facebook message. Now I don't even have that link anymore and you know something? Right now, I feel a little freer than I did yesterday.
I got up this morning and started a soup. In a few moments I plan to go clean up my living room then my kitchen and then my dining room and I may start a few new jewelry pieces. In the next couple of weeks I plan to re arrange my bedroom. I have to find some screens for my windows. Winter is coming and I think I would like to have my windows up at night to catch the breeze so that I don't have to have my AC running all day and all night. The girls got screens as did the dining room. Granted I pulled them off the vacant house next door and someone moved in before I could swipe the front screens for my bedroom so I have to go scavenging. I shall prevail however. The people at the top of the cul de sac are moving out and part of me wants to go over and hijack their screen door. Just unscrew the screws and run into the night but I think it'll look suspicious if the realty company they are going with comes to the circle and their's holes in their door frame and the screen door they THOUGHT was on that house looks exactly like the one on my door. So hmmm... nah, I think I'm going to let that house be....
So yeah, time for me to get up and get cracking. The day is half gone and I have alot to do. That soup is smelling really tasty. I kinda wish Blogger had a smell option. Today is the usual beef and chicken but I'm also going to throw a few jumbo shrimp in there and some veggies. This is going to be good. I think I may also make a fresh loaf of bread or two.
Time to get crackin!
Ciao!
I did regret some friends that I lost when my oh so freaking smart phone clued in that I no longer had an active account and deleted people from the contacts list but I logged on and reactivated this morning long enough to stare a few pictures and send those people a message.
A very small part of me wants to see how long it will take some people to notice I've left. I'm a serial poster so if they've ever read any of my stuff then they may or may not notice right off the back. It may take a few days as I do tend to take breaks every now and then, just not to this degree. I have always been able to be reached by Facebook message. Now I don't even have that link anymore and you know something? Right now, I feel a little freer than I did yesterday.
I got up this morning and started a soup. In a few moments I plan to go clean up my living room then my kitchen and then my dining room and I may start a few new jewelry pieces. In the next couple of weeks I plan to re arrange my bedroom. I have to find some screens for my windows. Winter is coming and I think I would like to have my windows up at night to catch the breeze so that I don't have to have my AC running all day and all night. The girls got screens as did the dining room. Granted I pulled them off the vacant house next door and someone moved in before I could swipe the front screens for my bedroom so I have to go scavenging. I shall prevail however. The people at the top of the cul de sac are moving out and part of me wants to go over and hijack their screen door. Just unscrew the screws and run into the night but I think it'll look suspicious if the realty company they are going with comes to the circle and their's holes in their door frame and the screen door they THOUGHT was on that house looks exactly like the one on my door. So hmmm... nah, I think I'm going to let that house be....
So yeah, time for me to get up and get cracking. The day is half gone and I have alot to do. That soup is smelling really tasty. I kinda wish Blogger had a smell option. Today is the usual beef and chicken but I'm also going to throw a few jumbo shrimp in there and some veggies. This is going to be good. I think I may also make a fresh loaf of bread or two.
Time to get crackin!
Ciao!
Sunday, November 17, 2013
This is getting really tiring...
I don't know. Maybe I need to get laid and then I will stop being overly emotional. Maybe if I release whatever it is that released when you get some, I will regain my ability to be a level headed person again.
I want to scream one thousand cusses right now into the wind and not stop until I have no breath left in my body. Why must men be so damned infuriating? They are forever complaining that they don't understand women but the truth is, we're not the hard ones to figure out. Men are WAY more complex than women are.
I want so bad for this not to be another blog about how my ex is pissing me off. There's about a hundred of those running through my mind right now and I need to deal with that. There's a lot of crap running around my brain right now but I can't put it here because like shitting in the wind, it'll come back and land right in my face. I know it will.
I'm sitting here fighting off tears because life is so hard right now. There are so many demand on my time and not very many of them are mine. This past Saturday was probably the most fun I have had in months because I got to do something for me. It'll be a cold day in Neverland before that happens again.
I had two things that I wanted to do this month. Just two. I wanted to go see Thor and I wanted to go see The hunger Games. I've missed my chance with Thor. And I can already tell I'm not going to get to see the Hunger Games. At least not on opening day. I did get Saturday and I had hella fun but think about it. I had two small things that I wanted to do for me this month and they have to go out of the window in favor of someone else's plans.
I got some disheartening news yesterday about something that's had me questioning a few things. One of them being should I have ever left New Jersey. Sometimes I'm not so sure. My son doesn't love me enough to pretend I exist unless it's a blue moon. So that's the same as when I was there. My love life is about the same. No one gave a damn about me in the dating circle in NJ and No one give a damn about me here. My friends still love me no matter where I go so there's that.
Sigh... I'm just so tired of being treated like everyone doormat. So tired of being treated like I don't matter unless I'm needed. So tired... So freaking tired.
I'm turning into a used up, dried up old prune and no one seems to care. I'm screaming out for just a little relief and everyone is so busy with what they need from me or want from me or can get from me that no one hears me.
I'm 34 years old and I feel like I'm 50+. I can honestly see why no man wants me. What man my age wants someone who is so old in the inside?
I can't have any more kids. At least not naturally and sometimes I'm not sure if I want to do it again at this stage in the game. Five years ago when I was still 29 maybe. I have 6 years, one month and two days until my youngest is 18. I have hit the home stretch and everyone says I'm going to have empty nest syndrome like crazy but I don't think I will. In six years, one month and two days from today's date this will be absolutely nothing holding me to this spot and... and... and...
I'm still going to be sitting right here being the good girl, making no waves, making no loud noises, hoping that someone will come along and notice me. Sitting here in my polished shoes, and pretty white pinafore dress with my hair done up really nicely, wearing a big smile. That'll be me.
Oh, my dad is in the hospital again. Not good.
We may not have always gotten along, but god, I don't want to lose my Daddy. I'm not ready to lose my Daddy...
...
I want to scream one thousand cusses right now into the wind and not stop until I have no breath left in my body. Why must men be so damned infuriating? They are forever complaining that they don't understand women but the truth is, we're not the hard ones to figure out. Men are WAY more complex than women are.
I want so bad for this not to be another blog about how my ex is pissing me off. There's about a hundred of those running through my mind right now and I need to deal with that. There's a lot of crap running around my brain right now but I can't put it here because like shitting in the wind, it'll come back and land right in my face. I know it will.
I'm sitting here fighting off tears because life is so hard right now. There are so many demand on my time and not very many of them are mine. This past Saturday was probably the most fun I have had in months because I got to do something for me. It'll be a cold day in Neverland before that happens again.
I had two things that I wanted to do this month. Just two. I wanted to go see Thor and I wanted to go see The hunger Games. I've missed my chance with Thor. And I can already tell I'm not going to get to see the Hunger Games. At least not on opening day. I did get Saturday and I had hella fun but think about it. I had two small things that I wanted to do for me this month and they have to go out of the window in favor of someone else's plans.
I got some disheartening news yesterday about something that's had me questioning a few things. One of them being should I have ever left New Jersey. Sometimes I'm not so sure. My son doesn't love me enough to pretend I exist unless it's a blue moon. So that's the same as when I was there. My love life is about the same. No one gave a damn about me in the dating circle in NJ and No one give a damn about me here. My friends still love me no matter where I go so there's that.
Sigh... I'm just so tired of being treated like everyone doormat. So tired of being treated like I don't matter unless I'm needed. So tired... So freaking tired.
I'm turning into a used up, dried up old prune and no one seems to care. I'm screaming out for just a little relief and everyone is so busy with what they need from me or want from me or can get from me that no one hears me.
I'm 34 years old and I feel like I'm 50+. I can honestly see why no man wants me. What man my age wants someone who is so old in the inside?
I can't have any more kids. At least not naturally and sometimes I'm not sure if I want to do it again at this stage in the game. Five years ago when I was still 29 maybe. I have 6 years, one month and two days until my youngest is 18. I have hit the home stretch and everyone says I'm going to have empty nest syndrome like crazy but I don't think I will. In six years, one month and two days from today's date this will be absolutely nothing holding me to this spot and... and... and...
I'm still going to be sitting right here being the good girl, making no waves, making no loud noises, hoping that someone will come along and notice me. Sitting here in my polished shoes, and pretty white pinafore dress with my hair done up really nicely, wearing a big smile. That'll be me.
Oh, my dad is in the hospital again. Not good.
We may not have always gotten along, but god, I don't want to lose my Daddy. I'm not ready to lose my Daddy...
...
Don't sweat the petty things...
Pet the sweaty things...
I always hear people say that and I get it but I don't. I care but I don't.
You know, I used to pride myself that for awhile, I had the kind of relationship with my ex-husband that many divorced people wished they had. We talked, we hashed out problems with little to know ripples, we so parented with a finesse that made supernanny look like a novice.
But ever since he's moved here, I find that all I want to do is rip his head off and shove it up his ass. On a daily basis. Well maybe not a daily basis but at the very least on a weekly basis.
I mean, I don't pretend that I am a mild mannered person. I couldn't pull off that lie if you paid me a million dollars and got me high on Godiva chocolates. At best most days I pull off civilized with a very convincing flair. But he pushes buttons in me that only someone that I lived with for so long can push and I wish to everything holy that I could reprogram those buttons so that he can't find the combination that makes me go off like Mt. St. Helens.
This weekend we had a plan. He kept both of the girl Friday night because he wanted to have a B-day party for Kay. That was fine but Saturday he was supposed to drop Kay off at my moms and keep Liv. It was part two of Kay's birthday celebration with my mom. She bought her her favorite Microwave pizza and a small Ben and Jerry's ice cream and they were going to stay up and have a girls night.
About ten last night, my son Facebook messages me and I asked him if Kay was still there and he said yes. The answer I was expecting was no, she left awhile ago. But no she was there. So I called my ex and asked him why she was still at his house when he was supposed to have dropped her off hours before. His answer was that when he got to the house to pick her up, she was still in her pajamas and hadn't washed up. So he left her there and went back to work. But here's the thing, he fixes ATM's on site so when he went to work it was over an hour or two away. Now most people would have just put her pajama clad behind in the car and taken her over to her grandmother's house because it was a promised thing. But no, not him. Didn't think like that.
There's not to say that there's not fault to Kay in this. Although I'm not sure that he even told her what time he would be back for her, hence why she was still in her pjs... When I have to pick Kay up at a certain time I say that I need her dressed by a certain time and when I get there, she is dressed. We have no problems. I don't know what if anything he told her but I know she wasn't dressed.
Why does this annoy me so much? Because my mother went out of her way to get stuff that Kay likes so that she would have a good time and he called her at seven to tell her that it would be eleven before he got to her. Kay goes to bed on the weekends at eleven. So she would have had no free time at Mom's because it would have been time for bed as soon as she got there. He knows this.
Another thing that annoys me is that he has no respect for bedtimes in general. When he returns them on Sunday night's it's always after nine pm. Nine and nine thirty are their bedtimes Sunday through Thursday. This is not a secret. I say it every week. We've been doing it so long that the girls actually get tired around these times. But he repeatedly drops them off around ten.
IT makes me want to scream. I swear I am reaching my end.
He also, and this is perhaps the most heinous of the things he does just to annoy me, brings her to my house. The girlfriend. She still has whatever he beef is with me leftover from when I blasted her on Facebook about not giving a crap about the other children in the household and not even stopping to see if they look okay before dragging them out of the house. She acts like I'm loosing sleep over her not liking me and I need her to understand it's not my place in the world to like her. I could probably give a half a rat's ass if she doesn't like me, really. I just want for my girls to be cared for when they are in her care and since they only go over there on the weekends and he works on the weekends, those weekends when she isn't at work, she's caring for my kids. But since she has this thing, I have requested a few times that he not bring her to my house. Not even to sit in the driveway. I have the right to request that. Yet he continually acts like if he just happens to have her in the car, I'm going to be okay with it.
I can't wait until we go to court for this whole custody thing. I need to go to court.
I always hear people say that and I get it but I don't. I care but I don't.
You know, I used to pride myself that for awhile, I had the kind of relationship with my ex-husband that many divorced people wished they had. We talked, we hashed out problems with little to know ripples, we so parented with a finesse that made supernanny look like a novice.
But ever since he's moved here, I find that all I want to do is rip his head off and shove it up his ass. On a daily basis. Well maybe not a daily basis but at the very least on a weekly basis.
I mean, I don't pretend that I am a mild mannered person. I couldn't pull off that lie if you paid me a million dollars and got me high on Godiva chocolates. At best most days I pull off civilized with a very convincing flair. But he pushes buttons in me that only someone that I lived with for so long can push and I wish to everything holy that I could reprogram those buttons so that he can't find the combination that makes me go off like Mt. St. Helens.
This weekend we had a plan. He kept both of the girl Friday night because he wanted to have a B-day party for Kay. That was fine but Saturday he was supposed to drop Kay off at my moms and keep Liv. It was part two of Kay's birthday celebration with my mom. She bought her her favorite Microwave pizza and a small Ben and Jerry's ice cream and they were going to stay up and have a girls night.
About ten last night, my son Facebook messages me and I asked him if Kay was still there and he said yes. The answer I was expecting was no, she left awhile ago. But no she was there. So I called my ex and asked him why she was still at his house when he was supposed to have dropped her off hours before. His answer was that when he got to the house to pick her up, she was still in her pajamas and hadn't washed up. So he left her there and went back to work. But here's the thing, he fixes ATM's on site so when he went to work it was over an hour or two away. Now most people would have just put her pajama clad behind in the car and taken her over to her grandmother's house because it was a promised thing. But no, not him. Didn't think like that.
There's not to say that there's not fault to Kay in this. Although I'm not sure that he even told her what time he would be back for her, hence why she was still in her pjs... When I have to pick Kay up at a certain time I say that I need her dressed by a certain time and when I get there, she is dressed. We have no problems. I don't know what if anything he told her but I know she wasn't dressed.
Why does this annoy me so much? Because my mother went out of her way to get stuff that Kay likes so that she would have a good time and he called her at seven to tell her that it would be eleven before he got to her. Kay goes to bed on the weekends at eleven. So she would have had no free time at Mom's because it would have been time for bed as soon as she got there. He knows this.
Another thing that annoys me is that he has no respect for bedtimes in general. When he returns them on Sunday night's it's always after nine pm. Nine and nine thirty are their bedtimes Sunday through Thursday. This is not a secret. I say it every week. We've been doing it so long that the girls actually get tired around these times. But he repeatedly drops them off around ten.
IT makes me want to scream. I swear I am reaching my end.
He also, and this is perhaps the most heinous of the things he does just to annoy me, brings her to my house. The girlfriend. She still has whatever he beef is with me leftover from when I blasted her on Facebook about not giving a crap about the other children in the household and not even stopping to see if they look okay before dragging them out of the house. She acts like I'm loosing sleep over her not liking me and I need her to understand it's not my place in the world to like her. I could probably give a half a rat's ass if she doesn't like me, really. I just want for my girls to be cared for when they are in her care and since they only go over there on the weekends and he works on the weekends, those weekends when she isn't at work, she's caring for my kids. But since she has this thing, I have requested a few times that he not bring her to my house. Not even to sit in the driveway. I have the right to request that. Yet he continually acts like if he just happens to have her in the car, I'm going to be okay with it.
I can't wait until we go to court for this whole custody thing. I need to go to court.
Friday, November 15, 2013
What's in a name?
So I didn't really have to think about the N blog too much. I've been thinking about the topic way to often as of late and figured, it deserved a blog.
Names.
When I pregnant with Olivia, The Dr. told me it looked like a girl. information that I then sent on to my then husband. He went to Turkey one night when the ship docked and got a tat on his upper arm of our children's names. He sent me a picture later and I noticed that he had named our third, yet to be born child Olivia already. I mean, how much more solid is a childs name than ink in injected into skin? I told him that the doc wasn't sure if it was a girl and honestly, when he said we needed a kids with vowel name, Olivia was NOT where I was headed. He then told me that if it was a boy it would be Oliver and he'd get it fixed, and if it wa a girl she would be Olivia. No if's ans, or buts... from an Ocean away.
I so could have been the petty one and named my daughter Ysabel, or Abigail, or Iolanthe, or any number of names that start with a vowel as well as totally bucking him and going with another consonant like B because deep down I wanted to name my daughter Bronwyn. It was in a book that I'd just read and I thought it was a good solid, unusual, but still totally awesome name. But I was a good wife and named my child Olivia. To be honest, I didn't like the name and further didn't like it when we went to his grandfather's home in NY for his funeral and his children from his second marriage assumed right off the bat that we had named our third child after their mother, Olivia; a woman I had never heard of nor met. I am embarrassed to say that he made me acquiesce and agree that I had named my child after this woman that I am sure was a good woman just no one I knew anything about other than she married my then husband's grandfather and had a crap load of semi good looking kids with.
But whatever, that's in the past and Olivia is Olivia and she isn't going to change. You will rarely hear me call her Olivia though. I stick to Livy and other pet names. I haven't called her Olivia on the regular ever. Only when I am upset and trying to get her attention.
So my topic is names. What possesses a parent to give a child a name? Family names? Purpose specific names? What?
A personal favorite boys name of mine is Sebastian. Also Nathan. I don't see me ever putting them together for one child's name so as I see it, I need to have at least two more boys to have my two most coveted names. I have to have so many more Girls, you'd think I was a Dugger to have all the girls names I like...
An old college buddy named her child Evian. I asked her how she came up with that considering the trend at the time was to take actual words and turn them backwards for names. I dared hope she wasn't doing this because Evian backwards is naive. She outright told me because she liked the water. I was done.
A girl that I grew up with and who I considered my best friend until middle/high school is named Semajh. I always, always ALWAYS wondered where her parents got such an inventive name from. They were Afrocentric, they celebrated Kwanzaa, they did all the stuff that I only read that black people do, I considered them the blackest people I knew at the time and figured the name had African roots. I was all that more jazzed. I had a friend with an African name!! No. The story I was told, not sure by whom is that they were expecting a boy and when a girl came out, they turned the name James (The name they had settled on) around and added an H. My bubble burst all sorts of ways. Don't get me wrong I still thought, do think that Semajh is a totally awesome name. It's pretty and unique to me but the story behind it, too a little bit of the glitter away from it for me.
Speaking of Unique. I've met at least three women in my lifetime that named their daughters Unique. Okay sure one of them pronounced it "Uni-kay" but it was still Unique. It seemed it was actually a popular name for a minute there. My question is this: If fifteen hundred other girls are named Unique, is the symbolism of the name not lost?
I have had two female friends that named their daughter's Heaven. One who followed a trend and went with Neveah. I personally like the backwards version. I don't have much to say about naming your child Heaven. Are you trying to say this is where they will go when they die or were you describing the event that created said child?
Precious. In my experience (and yes I have had experience with this name) most girls who are named this are entitled little shits. Yes I said it. They think that because they are named Precious, they are precious. Naw chickie, you might be precious but you are a precious hot mess.
And what about the moms that name their children Mercedes, Bentley, Porsche, and Royce when they know they should have gone with Yugo, Toyota, Chevy, and Dodge. And in case you are wondering these too, are names that I have personally come across. In this case all at one time when I was a photographer. The mother came in and sat her children down and one by one called out the names and my mouth had to struggle not to drop on the floor. Why? I just wanted to ask why?
And this goes back years. My mother once taught a set of twins named Inowseeallah and Nowiseeallah. Yes, you read that right. If you break it up, that was I now see Allah and Now I see Allah. I can only wonder where those two are now a good thirty years later.
I admire people who do traditional things like name their boys Junior. My father is a junior. However in the case of my father, the man he is junior to, is not his father. We don't know who his father is/was. Something like that can seriously detriment a child. Fortunately I don't see it done very often, actually haven't come across it other than my father but I don't understand what would possess my Grandmother to name my father Jr when that man wasn't the father. And after Junior what is next? III, IV, and V? That's awesome but after 18 I would change my name from Jr. to II. It's just a maturity thing to me.
Then we have the Celebrities of today. Gwyneth named her daughter Apple. Her son is named Moses but back to Apple. "Because apples are whole and pure." Hmmm...
Beyonce named her daughter Blue Ivy and then went so far as to try and copyright it so no one else could name their child Blue Ivy. Why in the hell would a sane person name their child Blue Ivy? There was no need to try and copyright that name...
Courtney Cox named her daughter Coco. I guess if it was good enough for Coco Chanel, it's good for Coco Cox-Arquette... (I'm a twisted individual and, for some reason I see the Cocoa Puffs bird bouncing up and down saying "I'm Cuckoo for Coco Cox! I'm Cuckoo for Coco Cox!" God I'm evil.)
David Duchovny named his child Kyd. I don't even have a joke for that. I don't... I just... no...
Bono named his daughter Memphis Eve. Coming from a guy who's name is Bono, is this really a stretch? Just sayin...
Frank Zappa named his children Moon Unit, Dwezil, and Diva Thin Muffin... Uhm... yeah...
Rob Morrow named his son Tu so that the boys name is Tu Morrow. Tomorrow... get it? I want to brak out into a chorus of "The sun'll come out... Tu Morrow! Betcha bottom dollar that Tu Morrow, IT WILL SHINE!!!" But I'm thinking he gets this often. If he doesn't, I need to start a movement. (Note, even my computer's spell check keeps auto correcting this childs name to tomorrow.)
Jermaine Jackson (The brother of the guy who named his sons Prince Micheal and Blanket (Technically Prince Michael II)) named his child Jermajesty... I really hope that this is a girl. I really really hope so. I also hope that she waits until he is a senile old fart and dependant on her and she beats the hell out of him for it.
(BTW, my source for that list save Beyonce was: 20 most bizarre celebrity baby names)
imagine if ANY of those children had gone into politics...
President Apple, Vice President Kyd, Secretary of state Jermajesty... Thank God they will probably want to be stars like Mom and/or dad...
And Lastly, people who names their children after Bible. It's an inspired idea but here's the thing... the people in the bible are in there because they did great things... well except for Judas and if you name your kid Judas then you have way bigger problems than I can cover in this blog... Do some parents realize that they are setting their child up for either a great destiny or a great fall by naming them Jesus, Noah, Moses... and those are the only names I can come up with off hand that are Male. The girls had fairly regular names... Mary, Elizabeth... But come on, Jesus was the savior of the world and the son of God. What exactly are you hoping your child will do when he grows up? Be the next Messiah? Noah built a really big ship and saved all of the animals we know today from drowning. Are you setting your son up to be a master Shipbuilder? and Moses... well, God spoke through him and brought down an entire civilization with plagues and then split a massive sea in half so another civilization could be free. I actually have no modern day job to compare that to. Great Army General? Biowarfare genius? Awesome Scout guide?
And while the girls had fairly decent names, there was also Jezabel whose name has come to basically mean tramp and whore. Or Delilah who was a temptress, a traitor and a tease. Rahab was a dancer. Way to set her up for a career as a stripper, mom! Sappira is actually quite pretty and I've actually used it as a pen name but she was a woman that hid money from the church and lied to the apostles. God personally smote her. Don't think I'll be using that one again...ever. Eve listened to a snake and made a mistake. I don't think she qualifies as a biblical bad girl but there ya go...
And what if your kid grows up to be a Satanist or Atheist? "Hi, My name is Jesus and I'm a Satanist..." I don't see that going over well...
(Source: Naughty Biblical Women)
So basically after rambling this long, my point is that people should be careful what they name their children. You may be trying to say one thing but everyone else might construe it totally different. A name can either be a destiny path for a child or a huge yolk around their necks. Think about that when you have an innocent, defenseless newborn in your arms and you are giving them the name that they will be known by during their entire lives and maybe afterwards. Be kind to your kids. Do research before you name them...
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