So I didn't really have to think about the N blog too much. I've been thinking about the topic way to often as of late and figured, it deserved a blog.
Names.
When I pregnant with Olivia, The Dr. told me it looked like a girl. information that I then sent on to my then husband. He went to Turkey one night when the ship docked and got a tat on his upper arm of our children's names. He sent me a picture later and I noticed that he had named our third, yet to be born child Olivia already. I mean, how much more solid is a childs name than ink in injected into skin? I told him that the doc wasn't sure if it was a girl and honestly, when he said we needed a kids with vowel name, Olivia was NOT where I was headed. He then told me that if it was a boy it would be Oliver and he'd get it fixed, and if it wa a girl she would be Olivia. No if's ans, or buts... from an Ocean away.
I so could have been the petty one and named my daughter Ysabel, or Abigail, or Iolanthe, or any number of names that start with a vowel as well as totally bucking him and going with another consonant like B because deep down I wanted to name my daughter Bronwyn. It was in a book that I'd just read and I thought it was a good solid, unusual, but still totally awesome name. But I was a good wife and named my child Olivia. To be honest, I didn't like the name and further didn't like it when we went to his grandfather's home in NY for his funeral and his children from his second marriage assumed right off the bat that we had named our third child after their mother, Olivia; a woman I had never heard of nor met. I am embarrassed to say that he made me acquiesce and agree that I had named my child after this woman that I am sure was a good woman just no one I knew anything about other than she married my then husband's grandfather and had a crap load of semi good looking kids with.
But whatever, that's in the past and Olivia is Olivia and she isn't going to change. You will rarely hear me call her Olivia though. I stick to Livy and other pet names. I haven't called her Olivia on the regular ever. Only when I am upset and trying to get her attention.
So my topic is names. What possesses a parent to give a child a name? Family names? Purpose specific names? What?
A personal favorite boys name of mine is Sebastian. Also Nathan. I don't see me ever putting them together for one child's name so as I see it, I need to have at least two more boys to have my two most coveted names. I have to have so many more Girls, you'd think I was a Dugger to have all the girls names I like...
An old college buddy named her child Evian. I asked her how she came up with that considering the trend at the time was to take actual words and turn them backwards for names. I dared hope she wasn't doing this because Evian backwards is naive. She outright told me because she liked the water. I was done.
A girl that I grew up with and who I considered my best friend until middle/high school is named Semajh. I always, always ALWAYS wondered where her parents got such an inventive name from. They were Afrocentric, they celebrated Kwanzaa, they did all the stuff that I only read that black people do, I considered them the blackest people I knew at the time and figured the name had African roots. I was all that more jazzed. I had a friend with an African name!! No. The story I was told, not sure by whom is that they were expecting a boy and when a girl came out, they turned the name James (The name they had settled on) around and added an H. My bubble burst all sorts of ways. Don't get me wrong I still thought, do think that Semajh is a totally awesome name. It's pretty and unique to me but the story behind it, too a little bit of the glitter away from it for me.
Speaking of Unique. I've met at least three women in my lifetime that named their daughters Unique. Okay sure one of them pronounced it "Uni-kay" but it was still Unique. It seemed it was actually a popular name for a minute there. My question is this: If fifteen hundred other girls are named Unique, is the symbolism of the name not lost?
I have had two female friends that named their daughter's Heaven. One who followed a trend and went with Neveah. I personally like the backwards version. I don't have much to say about naming your child Heaven. Are you trying to say this is where they will go when they die or were you describing the event that created said child?
Precious. In my experience (and yes I have had experience with this name) most girls who are named this are entitled little shits. Yes I said it. They think that because they are named Precious, they are precious. Naw chickie, you might be precious but you are a precious hot mess.
And what about the moms that name their children Mercedes, Bentley, Porsche, and Royce when they know they should have gone with Yugo, Toyota, Chevy, and Dodge. And in case you are wondering these too, are names that I have personally come across. In this case all at one time when I was a photographer. The mother came in and sat her children down and one by one called out the names and my mouth had to struggle not to drop on the floor. Why? I just wanted to ask why?
And this goes back years. My mother once taught a set of twins named Inowseeallah and Nowiseeallah. Yes, you read that right. If you break it up, that was I now see Allah and Now I see Allah. I can only wonder where those two are now a good thirty years later.
I admire people who do traditional things like name their boys Junior. My father is a junior. However in the case of my father, the man he is junior to, is not his father. We don't know who his father is/was. Something like that can seriously detriment a child. Fortunately I don't see it done very often, actually haven't come across it other than my father but I don't understand what would possess my Grandmother to name my father Jr when that man wasn't the father. And after Junior what is next? III, IV, and V? That's awesome but after 18 I would change my name from Jr. to II. It's just a maturity thing to me.
Then we have the Celebrities of today. Gwyneth named her daughter Apple. Her son is named Moses but back to Apple. "Because apples are whole and pure." Hmmm...
Beyonce named her daughter Blue Ivy and then went so far as to try and copyright it so no one else could name their child Blue Ivy. Why in the hell would a sane person name their child Blue Ivy? There was no need to try and copyright that name...
Courtney Cox named her daughter Coco. I guess if it was good enough for Coco Chanel, it's good for Coco Cox-Arquette... (I'm a twisted individual and, for some reason I see the Cocoa Puffs bird bouncing up and down saying "I'm Cuckoo for Coco Cox! I'm Cuckoo for Coco Cox!" God I'm evil.)
David Duchovny named his child Kyd. I don't even have a joke for that. I don't... I just... no...
Bono named his daughter Memphis Eve. Coming from a guy who's name is Bono, is this really a stretch? Just sayin...
Frank Zappa named his children Moon Unit, Dwezil, and Diva Thin Muffin... Uhm... yeah...
Rob Morrow named his son Tu so that the boys name is Tu Morrow. Tomorrow... get it? I want to brak out into a chorus of "The sun'll come out... Tu Morrow! Betcha bottom dollar that Tu Morrow, IT WILL SHINE!!!" But I'm thinking he gets this often. If he doesn't, I need to start a movement. (Note, even my computer's spell check keeps auto correcting this childs name to tomorrow.)
Jermaine Jackson (The brother of the guy who named his sons Prince Micheal and Blanket (Technically Prince Michael II)) named his child Jermajesty... I really hope that this is a girl. I really really hope so. I also hope that she waits until he is a senile old fart and dependant on her and she beats the hell out of him for it.
(BTW, my source for that list save Beyonce was: 20 most bizarre celebrity baby names)
imagine if ANY of those children had gone into politics...
President Apple, Vice President Kyd, Secretary of state Jermajesty... Thank God they will probably want to be stars like Mom and/or dad...
And Lastly, people who names their children after Bible. It's an inspired idea but here's the thing... the people in the bible are in there because they did great things... well except for Judas and if you name your kid Judas then you have way bigger problems than I can cover in this blog... Do some parents realize that they are setting their child up for either a great destiny or a great fall by naming them Jesus, Noah, Moses... and those are the only names I can come up with off hand that are Male. The girls had fairly regular names... Mary, Elizabeth... But come on, Jesus was the savior of the world and the son of God. What exactly are you hoping your child will do when he grows up? Be the next Messiah? Noah built a really big ship and saved all of the animals we know today from drowning. Are you setting your son up to be a master Shipbuilder? and Moses... well, God spoke through him and brought down an entire civilization with plagues and then split a massive sea in half so another civilization could be free. I actually have no modern day job to compare that to. Great Army General? Biowarfare genius? Awesome Scout guide?
And while the girls had fairly decent names, there was also Jezabel whose name has come to basically mean tramp and whore. Or Delilah who was a temptress, a traitor and a tease. Rahab was a dancer. Way to set her up for a career as a stripper, mom! Sappira is actually quite pretty and I've actually used it as a pen name but she was a woman that hid money from the church and lied to the apostles. God personally smote her. Don't think I'll be using that one again...ever. Eve listened to a snake and made a mistake. I don't think she qualifies as a biblical bad girl but there ya go...
And what if your kid grows up to be a Satanist or Atheist? "Hi, My name is Jesus and I'm a Satanist..." I don't see that going over well...
(Source: Naughty Biblical Women)
So basically after rambling this long, my point is that people should be careful what they name their children. You may be trying to say one thing but everyone else might construe it totally different. A name can either be a destiny path for a child or a huge yolk around their necks. Think about that when you have an innocent, defenseless newborn in your arms and you are giving them the name that they will be known by during their entire lives and maybe afterwards. Be kind to your kids. Do research before you name them...
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