Girls like me tend to sneer at those girls. At least I used to be apart of the group that did that. Now I'm starting to see life from their perspective.
What if there are no Happily Ever Afters? What if all we have and all we will ever get is Contentedly right nows? What if those make us so content that they seem like Happily Ever After?
I grew up with the happily ever after as my goal in life. My entire childhood all I wanted was my man to sweep me away from New Jersey where I never felt like I fit in and take me somewhere where he would marry me, let me have his kids and we would be happy for the rest of our lives. It was my dream. My happily ever. To be very honest, my happy ever after dream wasn't actually a by product of Disney. They didn't hit the upswing of princesses until I was an adult really. I only had Snow White, Cinderella, and sleeping beauty as my Disney female role models. Let's break that down for a second:
Snow White- Her mom dies and she gets a really bitchy stepmother. (Keep in mind that I have NEVER seen Snow White) Mommy dearest decides one day that little snow is way to pretty so the only obvious solution is to kill her. Snow runs away and goes to live with seven tiny men that look after her in exchange for her cooking and cleaning for them. When he prince charming finally finds her, she's in a coma because mommy dearest found her first and the naive little thing took and ate an apple from a stranger that was poisoned. He kissed her and she woke up thanks to true loves kiss.
Cinderella- Mom dies, she gets a step mother who treats her like the maid. She wishes really hard and a fairy godmother gives her a pretty dress so she can go to a dance where she meets a prince and then runs away leaving a shoe. HE scours the country searching for the one woman that fits this shoes because NO ONE else in an entire kingdom can possibly have the same sized shoe as one girl. He finds her, he marries her. They live happily ever after.
Sleeping Beauty- Girl gets taken away by three old women because an evil woman threatens her life way down the road. She meets a man in the forest and basically plans to spend her life with this guy whose name she doesn't even know. She falls into a coma and he kisses her. She wakes up, she's in love, they get married.
If I had based my happily ever after on those three role models, I think I'd be even more screwed up than I already am.
No, my happy ever after role models were women in the romance novels I read. They had real struggles but in the end, their men did take them away from all of that.
I'm serious. All I wanted growing up was to get as far away from New Jersey as possible. Not my friends though. In my happy ever after we were friends forever no matter where I went but I just needed out of Ocean Township New Jersey. I wanted away from my mother and the old school family that never saw who I really was. I wanted my knight to take me away to a house where I could put my feet in the grass and run free. Where I could sit in the sun and smile while I watched our children romp and play. At night he would hold me and make me feel loved. I would keep his house and cook his food. This was my happy ever after.
I'm not going into go into my marriage. Nor am I going to go into last summer.
I sat and thought about it tonight. All of my life I have been looking for my happy ever after and all of my searches have come up short. In my pursuit of the happy ever after I have let a lot of contentedly right nows pass me by.
No more. If offered a contentedly right now, I'm taking it. I'm not going to sabotage it because I hope it turns into happy ever after, I'm going to take it for what it is. A chance to be happy right now. A chance to for once, not be the one left on the sidelines wanting.
You want me, happily ever after, you have to be the one to do the footwork. As for me, right now, I'm living in contentedly right now from now on.
No strings.
No expectations.
As long as I'm happy in the moment, I'll take it.
I'm in.
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