Ugh...

Randomness tonight...

1. So watching netflix... I've fallen in love with this BBC show called Call the Midwife about women who delivered babies in East London in the 1940's.  Love it.  But like all English shows, it has a Christmas episode.  American Television doesn't show this.  AT ALL>  Why not?  WHat does American television have against the Christmas episode of English shows?  They act like they don't exist all together and just go right on to the next season and the viewer is left with a million questions.  Like Downton Abbey.  If I hadn't wisened up and looked up the Christmas episodes, I would never have even half the answers I do now.  Ha, you thought I was going to give a spoiler.  Phooey on you.

2.  Watching Once Upon a Time tonight.  In true ABC style, they managed to turn the innocent tale of the sorcerer's apprentice into a dark and twisted tale.  Yea!  You caught my sarcasm.  I know you did.  I don't have any other opinion than to sit here with my mouth all twisted up in disgust.  But still I watch the show.  It's like my soap opera.

3. I have the next three days off.  Not sure how I feel about this but it's not going to change while my car is a very large piece of shit.  So I'm going to do something constructive with my time.  I'm going to binge watch Call the midwife with a side of Walking dead and if I'm not completely out of my fool mind by Tuesday night I *might* clean out my DVR.  I will be out of my mind.  This is not negotiable.  Since I;ve started working, I don't really want to be home.

4. Which leads me to randomness #4.  I don't really want to be at work either because I live there and that's not good.  People who live t work only tend not to have any other life.  I want another kind of life.

                         


I want the life that the beginning of this summer made me think I'd have by now.  NO, I'm not about to go into another rant.  I want to, but I'm not.  The good news is I managed not to act like every breath he took Saturday night made me want to rip his face off.  That's progress, right?  I mean baby steps.  I know I must take baby steps.  (Stop laughing)

And a friend of mine tried really hard today to make me understand that if he uses me having kids as an excuse or really won't be seen with me outside of work, he can't really be what I want.  I'm not that desperate am I?  Oh God what if I am?  No, no, I'm not.  This is the brain's chemical reaction to the serotonin that lit it up like a Christmas tree a month ago.  That's all this is.  And it will go away.  And I will be fine and I will stop thinking in the back of my mind  

I still have to give him his birthday present in a month.  I was stupid and set aside money from a couple of paychecks to buy him a carton of his favorite cigarettes a couple of times.  So now, I have cigarettes that taste like straight ass in my drawer and when I give them to him for his birthday present, he's going to still think that I'm hung up on him again.  Hopefully by them I won't be.

5. I have to be a good girl now.  Certain someone is on my Facebook now and if he thinks I believe that he doesn't use the damn thing incognito he's fallen down and hit his head.  Hah!  Nope!

THIS is why I don't say any names.  It's safer that way.

So I'm going to go and watch the Christmas Episode of Midwife and then tuck my self into bed until tomorrow.

Nighty o!