Wife swap...

A long time ago, I considered signing up for wife swap the television show.  I actually got a call back once and they said if it weren't for the fact that I live on base, they would have used me.  I was in a completely dysfunctional household with three kids and a husband who treated the military like it was number one , he was number two, his electronics like they were number three and somewhere down the list were me and the kids.  They really wanted to use me.

And I wonder where would we have been when the cameras came back a few weeks later?  Would our marriage be stronger because they took the total opposite of me and put her in my house with my hardheaded man or would we be in seperate rooms talking about how wife swap only made our differences clearer.

Where would I be?  Every mother (well almost every mother) learns valuable lessons during their swap o what would I have learned?

Tonight's episodes taught me that some parent's should get their choice of death.  Being beat to death by the kids they oppress or be drug behind a car going sixty miles an hour.

The first episode was a hockey mom that traded with a goth mother.  I actually liked the Goth Mom.  Okay yeah the Dad was a bit out there for wearing a skirt and top hat, but he loved his family.  Even though the boys didn't want to take ballet and hated being laughed at by their peers, they were together as a family.  They even took picinics in the cemetary. 

OKay wait a minute... I think I may be spouting their freakish tendencies rather than their good... hmm.

Well,, whatever, they were so much better than the other family.  The Hockey mom... OMG I wanted to slap her during her introduction.  I rarely see parent worse than her and her husband.  Their sons play hockey.  If they don't score well or skate well, they call them losers.  I mean WTF?!?!?  How do you look your child, your flesh and blood, the being that God (or whoever) gave you to love nurture, and protect in the eye and call him a loser????  They had a daughter who loved ballet but they woudn't support her because she quote sucked.  The father outright said I would rather watch my sons skate and bash and try to kill each other than go watch that because it sucks she sucks, it's torture...  At this point I was ready to climb into my television and just strangle him.

The hockey mom ws supposed to give up her style of dress and dress the goth way for the first week but she refused.  BUT come rule change she decreed that they goths had to give up their look.  In what way was that fair?? Oh!  And she called the father a loser in front of his kids. (Seriously can I smack her now)

It was funny.  Because the Goth mom she learned that the parents will is not always the kids will and sometimes you have to accept that.  What'd the hockey mom learn.  not a damn thing  That woman didn't learn a damn thing.

I'm not even going into the second episode cause the second episode, that just made black people look bad in all respects.  Those folks out there that judge the entire black race based on a few individuals would have been so justified in calling us ignorant based off that one family.

Why do I say that?  They made their 14 year old daughter come from her rooom and hand them the remote to the tv in their bedroom even if they were sitting on the bed and it was six inches away from them.  She couldn't have a phone, she couldn't talk t boys or friends, and she had to do about five hours of extra school work as dictated by her dad who's ambition at sixteen was to have a gold tooth so everyone would notice him.  Who says that Fashion is more important than air.  "Everyone has air but not everyone has fashion."  I'm sorry did they notice that their daughters braids were jacked all the eff up?

But I'm not going to talk about them. 

I still wonder what kind of situation I'd be put in if I went on the show but it's not something I wonder all the time about anymore.  I think if they put me in half the situations I have seen lately,. I would kill the husband.  Literally kill him.  Or call CPS.  Or find ways to torture him.  (Like the father that insisted he get first pick of all the food served in the house and the kids could have the burnt nasty looking stuff and the mom was forced to actually burn stuff on purpose so that he kids could have some food...?  Nah Negro! Uh-uh!  I'd put ex-lax and eye drops and keopectate in ALL his food.  That boy wouldn't know which hole it was going to come out next but I betcha he wouldn't be so hot to put anything in that I cooked.)

Ugh.... I'm tired.  And I have work tomorrow.  I need to go to bed.

Single and Blogging is going to bed!