Damn you Nicholas Sparks...

Damn you to hell and back and then damn you to make the trip again and again.

I just watched Safe Harbor and at the current I am bawling like an effing baby because... well shit. I can't give the plot away to anyone that might read thi that hasn't seen the movie but damn you Nicholas Sparks!!

You did this to me in The Notebook. Why did I think my emotions were going to fare any better at the end of this movie?  Silly stupid me!

How does a man write a story like that?  I need him to help me with my current story.  I need him to write the part of the man because honestly, I'm afraid that the man in my story is coming off as girly although I have already described him as looking like Eric Bana.

Damn you Nicholas Spark, I need you.  When you finish with the trips to hell and back that I've condemned you to, I need your help to make the man in my story the kind of man that's going to make women everywhere fall in love with.  Hell I need you to wave your magic pen and make him real.

I'm so tired of being alone.  I'm going to admit it.  The great big truth behind me leaving Facebook.  It had very little to do with my days getting more productive.  You wanna know the real reason I left?  Because every single day, every hour, every five minutes, I'm there to check to see if he has posted something new. To see if he is online right now.  To see what he is posting anywhere.  Hoping he will message me or comment on one of my asinine statuses.

And the simple solution would be to delete him from my friends list but to tell you the gut wrenching truth, the easier option was to take myself away from Facebook.  I could no more delete him from my Facebook than I could hack off my arm with a butter knife.

I'm not a religious person but for the last month of Sundays I have asked God each and every night why I feel the way I do about him.  He doesn't want me.  He doesn't like me.  So why do I feel like he is my destiny and that if I just wait patiently the same lightning bolt that apparently knocked me on my ass months ago hits him.

This shit hurts.  I have basically turned my back on a whole bunch of friends because I'm trying to stop myself from stalking someone.  What the hell kind of shit is that?

And if I log on and reactivate that stupid page, the very first thing I'm going to do is go to his page.  I can swear up and down an electric mile on a stack of bibles that I won't do it, but within ten minutes I will have done it.  And sat here and cried.  That's just how pathetic I am.

Damn you Nicholas Sparks.  Damn you to hell and back over and over and over again.  You did this!  You caused the band-aid over that part of my heart to rip itself off.  It was healing quite nicely.  It only needed a few more weeks and I wouldn't need the damn band-aid.  But I had to go and watch one of your movies and feel all romantic and shit.

Damn you.  Damn you.

Damn me.

So there may or may not be any posts for the next couple of days.  I may blog via my phone but I seriously doubt it as I hate typing on my phone.  I'll have my tablet but IDK how much I'll type.  We'll see.

Oh fuck it, I'm going to watch another movie...

Night...

So there was no blog last night

And that wan not an intentional thing.  I went up to see a friend of mine and one conversation led to another conversation and before I knew it it was like seven o'clock and I needed to get home.  For half a minute there I forgot that I was Mom and had to get home to dictate bedtimes and whatnot.  It was awesome.  I so rarely get to converse with other adults.

I made it home in record time but that was not without getting lost.  I always get lost at least once but I see new and wonderful things while trying to figure out where I am and it's all good.  So I got home and had a bowl and a half of cereal for dinner and I was done.  I was so drained of energy that I could barely look at my computer.  I didn't even write anymore on the story I'm currently penning.

So no, my non blogging last night was not intentional.

This morning the girls woke me up as usual for school and I sat and listened to the icy rain falling and decided to let them start their Thanksgiving break early.  I mean, the rain was icy and their bus drivers tend to round the corners so fast you half expect the kids in the back of the bus to go flying out of the windows.  I couldn't have them standing in the icy rain waiting for the bus and I couldn't let them ride the bus today and on the same flip of the coin I could not see me getting up, de-icing the car and letting it warm up enough to take two kids to two different schools.  That was, and forgive me for sounded lazy as hell, way too much work with no gratification.  My bed was too warm for me to contemplate getting out of it this morning.

Kayla is having bully problems again.  I finally got her to understand the last time that if you just stand up to them and show them what you're made of they won't mess with you two months ago.  In that case, she hauled off and punched the kid in the nose and we didn't hear anything else from him ever.  Now it's a new girl who's attacking Kay the only way uppity girls know how... looks.  She's saying that Kay need hair extensions and eye surgery.  Is this really what bullies are going for these days?  I mean really?  That little girl wouldn't have survived a day when I was a teen.  To say I was a bully would be going a little too far.  I only effed with those that messed with me or my friends.  This girl would have busted some ish on me about needing hair extensions and eyes surgery and I would have put on my glasses combed my short hair and showed her exactly WHY long hair can be a burden...  Kay is way to passive.  I suppose this is my Karmic punishment for being a badass in middle school.  What I wouldn't give for a set of Freaky Friday fortune cookies right now.  Please God on Monday Let me wake up in my daughters body...

I'm currently looking for a publisher for my book... again.  The one I submitted to asked for the manuscript even after i said that my story was 160k+ words and then wrote me back a month later telling me that they only look at stories 100K words and less.  My question to them is if they knew it was over 100K words at the time of my summary proposal, why did they ask me to send in the manuscript?  I swear if i see a truncated version of my story on the shelves somewhere I am going to sue them for everything they are worth.

I am going to write now.  Maybe that will take some of the sting out of feeling like I'm being taken for a ride.

Ciao Bloggers!

One week...

Okay I have to admit... After I went to YouTube to find this song, it set off a three hour music video marathon.  Whatever, I have no shame in my game, there's not much to do tonight except blog and bug YouTube tonight.  Well, there's write... but that's too much like right...

So it's been one week today since I left Facebook. It actually took me a minute to type just that sentence because I said the line in my head which led to me singing the song which led to watching the video... Don't judge me.

Anyway, it's been a week since I left Facebook and I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss it.  I miss it, just not enough to reactivate.  I miss posting pictures cause I have had quite a few picture moments in the past week as well as some serious status moments.

I had my son this weekend.  I miss having him around.  Life gets just a little more comical when he's here.  I always ask him not to do the dramatic thing but he slips into it like breathing and even I have to admit it takes most of my willpower not to bust out laughing sometimes.

Was sad to see him go. But I'll have him again either next weekend or the weekend after.

My brain has already checked out for the night.  I started this blog at like five tonight and this is all I have written and it's a quarter to ten at the current.  We went to Golden Corral tonight and I think I ate my weight in Shrimp, chicken, steak, and chocolate covered strawberries.  And I'm a big girl....

Needless to say the sugar high has completely worn off.  Even Kay went down early.  I'm dragging ass right now and I'm not even sure what that means.  I think it means I'm really tired. I'm so tired, i don't even care that I probably sound as dumb as a blonde doorknob right now...

Dude... Goodnight!

My stove is a stubborn two year old...

They seriously stopped producing my stove in the seventies and they stopped selling it in the eighties.  Parts started getting scarce in the nineties and were all but impossible to find in the two thousands.  So here we are in twenty thirteen and I still have this reject stove from the seventies that picks and chooses when it wants to work.  Like yesterday, you guys saw it, I rocked like no ones business. Today, it ruined two whole batches of cookies.  And by batches I mean I made the recipe TWICE and over 60 cookies all came out the same... flat and brown and thin.  Around seven I just gave up.  I froze the remainder in oven ready balls but I have a feeling that they too are going to go flat and crispy and I'm just done.

So I was in Food lion this afternoon.  I had to return the coffee I went out and bought my mom. (I bought her beans instead of ground Thursday at BJ's and she went and got a coffee grinder last night at Wal-Mart but found this morning it didn't work and the tone of her voice when she called me this morning said if you love me and you like your ears and living you will bring me coffee.  So even though her voice said don't bother, my mind heard get your ass over here with coffee I got to her house and found that it was just that she didn't have enough strength in her hands to use the grinder.  So I stood there and ground up the whole freaking bag and filled her coffee can, and went to Food Lion to return the one that I had bought her in case I couldn't get the grinder to work...) And I'm in line at customer service behind these two women that are all but screaming at the poor girl behind the counter because they want to return three cans of powdered baby formula and the rules of the store say you can't.  Actually the rules of ALL stores that sell baby formula say that you can't return it in any way, at any time for any reason except if the store sold you expired formula.  But anyway, she's trying hard to give this woman and her boss the dressing down of their lives and they're showing her in black and white that the policy of the store is that they can't take it back.  They even said that they don't know why it wasn't posted on the door. (It's never been posted on the door)  And the women are screaming that the cashier should have told them that they couldn't return them.

The cashier should have told them they couldn't return it??  It's freaking common knowledge.  It really is.  The cashier shouldn't have had to outright tell her... So of course the smaller one pulls out the s word.  She's going to sue them.  Over $45 worth of baby formula.  Why do people always have to pulled out that word when businesses don't act like Burger King and let them have it their way?

Had all the kids today.  They went out to play and then my house predictably turned into the rock band house.  Did that ALL afternoon.  Loudly.  So yeah, this is probably going to be a short blog compared to ,y other ones.

I haven't read Wideacre.  I've actually been writing when I wasn't playing or baking.  Ideas of it just kinda popped into my head.  Might do a little while I wait for my night meds to kick in.

So that's it for today.  We have church tomorrow then we're having family dinner and I have to take the boy back to the ex's house.  I kinda wish he lived with us, but I kinda don't.  He's happier at his fathers and I'm happy to see him on the weekends.  It's fine as it is.  I want for my older niece to spend the night as well.  I think she'd have fun here.  Maybe work that out when it gets warmer.

Okay, that's it, I'm spent.  Going to write a little and then head to bed.

Ciao bloggerinos!!

Love peace and Hair grease!

Just a typical Friday in the house....

I got up with every intention of going back to bed and lounging for a good part of the day... like all of it. I'm serious, I had every single plan of sitting in my bed and alternately sleeping and reading/finishing Wideacre and maybe starting The Favored Child.

And then I got out of bed to do Liv's hair and it just didn't feel right to get back into it.  What the hell is wrong with me? It used to be that if I actually got out of bed, my day consisted of doing everything possible to divert my feet from making a beeline back to it, now once I get out of it, I don't usually get back in until nightfall... I swear if my bed could walk and talk it would do a parental abduction on me or at least sue reality for custody...

So since I was up, I decided to go make jewelry.  I'm working on an orange necklace.  I don't have orange.  Well I do but I want another one.  I was going strong on that one until I remembered the church meeting was tonight and this was my chance to give Tammey her cupcakes and her mother her brownies.  I know I said that we could wait until Christmas since she wasn't able to bring me pans but I found a deal on 18 foil pans at BJ's yesterday so I figured let's do this!  So I started with the glass to make the Cracked Glass Cupcakes when I got that done (Which honestly I should have done last night, I realize now) I started on the red velvet cupcakes.  In the middle of those I had to stop and go to Kay;'s school but that was a five minute trip so whatev...

So I got home and baked those.  While I was baking those, I started on the brownies...

There's a pan missing but only because I couldn't fit it in the picture...  You can see the second batch of cupcakes right above it. Excuse my messy table... And that pile on the floor.  Livy refuses to clean it up.  I don't know why...

Then I started the cookie dough so I could drop it into the brownie pans.  When that was done I loaded the pastry bag and iced Tammey's cupcakes.  Used the small circle tip.  I need to find connectors for the large tips.  I guess I should go to Wilton's online store and try to find them.... Anyway...  They came out looking like this...  The glass hasn't hardened yet so if it doesn't, they will be delivered as such...

She wanted Cream Cheese frosting.  Blech!  Aside from the fact that I can't each cheese in any form, I just don't like the frosting.  Of the dozen left, seven of those got the rest of the frosting and five were left bare.  

I had a little down time after that but not much cause I had to check the brownie/cookies...

They all came out really well.  I'm kinda certain that one of the bottoms might be a little crispy but I'm allowed a little bit of burn sometimes.  At least that's what I'm telling myself...

Anyway, they came out looking like this...

So I sat down to write this blog post and I realized that Mrs. Ware said she wanted Peanut butter as well so here I go.  Back to the kitchen.  Those are in the oven and with the leftover dough for the peanut butter ones I added some chocolate chips and put them on a pan.  Those will be for me.  I get to be selfish...

So in a few minutes I'm going to go get the last of the brownies and let them cool for a bit.  I have to be out of here by six thirty to go get mommy which means I have to have them cooled and bagged by then.  I have been baking since about eleven this morning and I have to admit, I'm tired.  Briefly wanted Facebook back today if only to post these pictures, but my blog is good enough.

Told you I could do Donna Reed better than Donna....

Heh!!!

See you at the end of the night loves!!  Might do the O blog tonight.  I got a topic that's not Orgasm!!  I'm kinda excited!!

By the way, I still have some baking supplies left but only because I need like five dozen sugar cookies and more brownies within the next three weeks....

Long day

Yeah... a very long day.  They cut my food stamps.  Well, they cut everyone's food stamps. I lost about $40.  Huge inconvenience! I don't know how I'm going to survive!! This is a travesty!!  Did that last bit make my sarcasm stink too much? :-)

I'm a food hoarder.  I will always have food in my house 90% of it will be the ingredients to make something from scratch.  I don't do pre-made unless it's one of my exceptions... like spam.  I love spam.  You will never take my spam away from me.

So no cutting my stamps isn't going to kill me.

I have an irk that never fails to happen when I go grocery shopping.  See I go shopping by the month since I pretty much HATE doing the weekly and bi-weekly thing.  What never fails to happen is, when I am in the store with two heavy carts or a heavy cart and my moms cart heavy someone never ever fails to say "Wow, your cupboards must be bare!" or "You must be shopping for a football team!" Or even something to that effect.  Sometimes I smile, sometimes I explain about monthly shopping, and still sometimes, I just nod and keep at my business. Today, it happened in the store and in the parking lot.  Why can't people mind their own business??  I mean if I see a cute guy who has a case of beer in the store, I might say, "Oh, I'm going to your house, you have the beer!" I don't expect an answer, only a smile from said cute guy.  More often than not, I get a small explanation of why he has the case of beer and a nice smile and we go our separate ways.  But to make a statement like I must be shopping for a football team or my cupboards must be bare.... admittedly the second one pissed me off more than the first... ugh.  The lady in the parking lot that stopped and said I must have bare cupboards actually stopped like she expected an answer.  Well not like she expected it.  She stood there until I told her I do my shopping by the month.  Then she gave me a sad little upper class looking down on the serfs smile and walked on.

Left me thinking WTF?  But I said nothing.  I always try to say nothing.  I don't like being that angry black person.  I hate being perceived that way.

Yes, I care about what others think about me.  I worry about my public image.  I try hard not to worry about my weight because that's a serious problem with me.  When I'm happy I don't eat, I lose weight.  When my life kinda sucks I eat too much or I eat the wrong things and I blow up. This causes me to get depressed and I don't eat and I lose weight.  This causes my mom to notice and nag at me or throw out her ninja star weapon "I'm worried about you." so I start to eat and I don't know when to stop or what to put in my mouth and the cycle starts all over again conveniently skipping the I'm happy stage.

When I was first married, I didn't eat for hours but I was having sex so when I lost weight, I was losing it in the right places.  If I was hungry I had a salad or a plate of dinner half the size or what I normally ate.  It was all good.  When my divorce was upon me, I didn't eat because eating reminded me I was alive.  No sex meant for a minute there I looked like a bag of skin.

When I moved to Jersey and was marginally happy, I walked everywhere I could, I ran, I played with my kids, I didn't spend my time eating.  I'm trying to get back to that happy place but I have one roadblock and it's hell jumping over it.

Remember that crush I mentioned a month or so or more ago?  The one that I said i had no idea where it came from and I don't really understand it all.  And it's not that we are two different races, it's that we are two different people at ends of the spectrum so polar to each other that if we stood in our spots, I'm not sure we could see each other.  He's a little bit country, I pretend to be a little bit rock and roll.  He's stoic and knows his course, and I'm as flappable as the wind.  If it says go this way, I breeze that way.  He drives slow enough down the road to see the scenery and I drive fast enough that I can barely see the people I pass flipping me off...  But I can't shake it.  I can't shake him.  I refuse to delete his texts because in my low moment, I sit and read every single one of them and smile like an idiot.  For a moment I feel great and then I realize it'll likely never be and I don't get sad, I get confused as to why.

I just don't understand.  I have dreamed of my future husband for years.  The man I've dreamed about is an architect.  He has a huge family and above all, he's  got a Texas Drawl.  I think...  The man in my dreams that has been there for years has fuzzed over into the crush I can't do anything about.

I don't wish I could change things because truth be told, I've wished on so many stars that space is full of my whispering.  Wherever birthday wishes go is full of them too.  But it's okay because my wishes keep me warm at night, I guess.  (Hey gutter mind.... no! uh uh!  I'm shaking my finger at you in a school marm fashion.)

Sigh.  I tanked my left elbow somewhere and it's killing me.  Nothing I have has helped and moving it is becoming torture.  It's been hurting for a few days but today is the first time I let out that it hurt.  Probably because I was lifting the groceries.  Does anyone else hear a electric guitar play a really loud bad chord when they get a pain?  It can't be just me.

I'm forgetting something... oh right... Wildacre...

I didn't get very far between last night and today because I was busy all day but I did read this morning.  Bea had the baby, her husband came home and saw that he was a full term baby, not a month early baby.  She lied and said that some brigand forced her.  husband got piss freaking drunk and while she was in the parlor with brother, he begged her for a little booty.  Well actually he begged her for the room of pain (This is fifty shades of grey's red room of pain circa 1700's England) but she refused  and told him that he could have her there in the parlor.  In the middle of it all, Mommy walks in and her heart fails her.  They get her to her bed and she's mumbling in her delirium and Bea knows it's a matter of time.  They wake the doc hubby who says to give her a dose of laudanum  every four hours but Bea lies and says that he said to give her the whole freaking vial of it.  Moms dead.  They bury her but the hubs has figured out what his mother in laws ramblings meant and now he gets drunk every night.  Bea has threatened to spread word that he was so drunk he told them the wrong does resulting in the death of her mom.  So now he has to keep quiet.  Oh and Ralph the gamekeepers son is back.  No leg but he's back.  He's burning down farms.  Bea is scared now.

I didn't know Phillipa Gregory could write such twisted ish like this... Damn...

So I'm gonna log off and go to sleep.  I have a big day ahead of me.  I'm going to try and bake the cupcakes and brownies for the church ladies tomorrow.  At the moment, I'm making Apple oat bread and it smells so good.  I'm not going to eat it because I don't really do Oatmeal,  but the smell is making my mouth water.

I love the holiday season!  I love being at home and baking and tidying!  I just wish I could decorate and do the whole happy homemaker thing.  I could do Donna Reed better than Donna herself did it.  And I would enjoy it. Heh.

Okay, breads done, I'm going to get it out of the pan while it's still warm and put it in the bag.  I'm sure the girls will tear into it, it the morning.

Goodnight, guys!

Oh and I was actually tempted to go on facebook today but I resisted it.  I'm proud of myself in that.

Day Three

I think I am going to stop saying "on the planet with no Facebook" because quite honestly, it's every freaking where I go.  The Devil is trying very hard to tempt me back to the social media.  Everywhere I go, someone is checking it and telling me to look at something on it.

It's funny.  Looking at people's facebooks raises no desire to go back to mine.  And I know I say that every day but it's a daily affirmation I need to say a couple of times a day.  I don't know why but I do.

I have Some exciting news!!!  I got an email this morning from my BFF Denise!!!  She had her baby!!!  6 lbs 12 oz and he's BEAUTIFUL!!!!  I wish I lived closer so I could see him in person!!!


Congratulations to Denise and Steve on the birth of their baby boy!!!

It's times like this that make me miss New Jersey.  When my friends have babies I just want to be there to cuddle and coo.  But then I remember the drifts of snow from the two blizzards of 2009 and I think of the pictures of Hurricane Sandy (I don't care what they say that should not have been downgraded to tropical storm), the landlord that a complete and total turd, and the horrible horrible boss that made my job a living nightmare eventually and I am not sorry I moved.  I'm actually sorry I didn't leave sooner.

And while I'm on the subject... Did I miss a memo or something in NJ that says y'all need to move down here??  In the last three or so weeks, I have seen a serious increase in cars from New Jersey.  I don't know if they are visiting or if they have moved here but damn!  Every fifth car seems like is from Jersey... not that I'm counting or anything.  I do know that three of my new neighbormates (People in the neighborhood) are from Jersey. I'm tempted to go to them and ask where in Jersey? Why did they come here?  When might they be going back?

Don't get me wrong.  If my friends in NJ decided to come relocate down here, I would probably be thrilled as punch.  One of them is a teacher so I would make sure I moved to the CMS school district she worked in cause then my kids would get a freaking awesome education.  One of them works with her parents so her moving down here would probably mean they want to open a Charlotte office and I would work so hard at getting a job there.  I'm sorry I like connection and I would beg and plead for that, lol.  One is into wrestling so there'd always be a party at his house because WWE is ALWAYS down here in someway and somehow.  Of course it would mean going to a wrestling party and I quite dislike wrestling but hey it's a party!

(Understand that at this point I have to admit that I typed that last part like three hours ago and have since gotten up and did a few hundred things so I have no idea where I was going with that... Let's continue now.)

So I got farther in Wildacre today and I think I stopped at Bea had weaseled her way onto her brother's honeymoon trip because she was (shudder) sleeping with her brother. (Gag) well about two weeks into the trip, she realized she was pregnant. Gasp!  She tried to lose it by getting on a bad horse and getting thrown but the baby stayed where it was so she came up with a plan to get her new sister in law to raise it as her own.  Sister girl was afraid of sex.  Like deathly afraid of it and she and bro had done it one time.  They figured if she made him think that she had conceived off that one time she would be set for life.  He bought it, brother rushed home because Mom was sick leaving the ladies in France where Bea gave birth to brother's daughter.  Sissy took the baby and formed like an immediate bond.  A serious one and Bea was all too happy to give it up because she hoped it would be a boy who would inherit the farm and one day she could tell him that she was his mother not sissy.  NO such luck.  So they return home with this newborn who's happy and healthy and EVERYONE falls in love with this kid.  But Bea is now finding herself being courted by the country doctor who comes from a family richer than hers but she doesn't want to marry him because he will take her back to Scotland.  This takes her from the farm, so NO!  So now I'm at the part where she has decided to go dominatrix on her submissive brother.  I think I have only wanted to throw the book at a wall about three times today.

Just finished setting the bread maker to make the second bread of the day.  The sandwich squad goes through so much bread it really is cheaper to keep the ingredients in the house rather than run to the store every few days for a loaf and I refuse to buy in bulk and freeze because even I hate thawed bread.  It's yucky.  Besides if i make it, I know all the ingredients in it and can pronounce every one of them.  Some of these commercial breads... hmmm.....  It's surprising how many breads use honey as the sugar when commercial bakers use high fructose corn syrup.  Not that I have anything against HFCS but still.. I'll stick to my honey.

So two things happened today that I haven't mentioned.  First of all, my libby left the house this morning looking like this:

And came back looking like this:

That's right!! Today was braces removal day!!  I wish I had had Dr. Prettyman (Yes that is his real name) when I was a teenager!  I had a guy named Dr. McIntyre and that man kept me in braces from the day after 8th grade ended to the day before my senior prom.  I matched four picture day outfits and one prom gown to my braces.  Countless dance dresses, and even matched my braces to the band uniform and or different holidays (orange and black for Halloween red and green for Christmas, etc...) When it came to the senior prom, I was NOT matching my mouth to my dress and I barged into his office and told him that after four years these tings were coming off if I had to take a pair of pliers to them.  I had had enough!  The truth was he was enjoying the benefits of my mothers insurance. It's okay it bit him in the ass in the end.  I heard he was put in prison for taxes, embezzling, and insurance fraud not too long ago.  I wonder how he justified keeping my braces on on paperwork?  Resistant tooth bone structure? lol

Anyway, the second thing that happened today was Liv had to do a rap for her vocabulary words for homework and I think between the two of us, she has an A+...

Okay to me it looks like there are two video boxes so if this uploads twice I apologize as I've never done a video of my own before...

I'm tired now and it's midnight.  Toodle-oo Bloggers!!

See ya tomorrow!

Day 2 on the planet with no Facebook...

So another day has passed and the apple was put before Eve.

My mother had Facebook on the entire time I was at her house and I glanced at it but remarkably, I wasn't tempted to go on my own.  I'm starting to think that I wasn't as attached to it as I thought I was.  I would say maybe the need to separate myself from it was all in my head.  Whatever, I'm not going back just yet.  I actually enjoy my phone having a spaz attack every time it refreshes and tries to log on but hits a brick wall. IT all but begs me for an updated password and I have nothing for it.

This is actually the most fun I have all day.

I started a new book.  It's called Wildacre and oh man, this ish is off the chain. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

First this girls started off loving her papa and being raised on the family farm estate and loving the land more than life itself and her older brother was sent away to school.  Then as she grew her father told her that as a girl she got nothing, her brother the bookworm.  Somewhere around fifteen she has a summer long affair with the Gamekeepers son and it's kinda hot actually.  But then the brother comes home and the father begins to favor the son over the girl and she and her lover talk for like five minutes about killing the dad and cheating the son so bad that he goes bankrupt and they buy the farm and live the life of riley.  She wakes up the next morning realizing that she was kinda horney and didn't mean it when she agreed that her father could have an accident but she doesn't reach lover boy in time and Papa has an accident that afternoon and son is in charge.  Girl is all bloodthirsty because she loved her papa and she sets a man sized bear trap for lover boy and leaves him to bleed out but he doesn't and his body and his mom disappear.  Time passes and little miss hot and horney begins to get very unsister like feelings for her brother (Eww) (Seriously EWWW) and it takes her a couple of weeks but she achieves her goal and he falls in love with her and within the first 24 hours of this sick affair I can count that they've screwed five times. (Did I say EEEEWWW?  Cause... EEEWWWW) But now brother is getting married and she's weaseled her way on their honeymoon so she and brother can continue sleeping with each other.   Then she hears from the fiancee's mom that there's been bread riots in the north led by a one legged man on a big black horse that has two big dogs and can reload his pistol while on horseback.  Apparently lover boy that she left for dead after the man trap killed one of his kneecaps had two black dogs, if he survived, he would have one leg and he could reload his gun while riding a horse.  So now she thinks that he's going to come and get her for leaving him to die after he stepped into her revenge you die now trap.  Add that to the fact that she's kinda getting the hots for the country doctor that's treating her for her new found anxiety.

IT's like a train wreck, You can't look away.  I have wanted to throw the book across the room because it's grossed me out like soo many times but I can't, it's just... like I said, I can't look away.

I'm having a bit of a drink.  A vanilla flavored black russian.  I love the feeling of immense warmth that spreads through your body when you have a good drink.  It's like an Orgasm that you can feel from head to toe.

Speaking of Orgasms, I'm leaning toward making that my O blog.  But I'm not sure about that considering that my experience with this is rudimentary at best.  I mean my whole married life I didn't have one sober orgasm.  I'm not sure if I ever had them drunk although he says I did.  But then I earned a Woody award for best pornographic scream.  He bought it for over nine years.

I have had a couple.  And I mean that... a couple.  The last guy I slept with managed to acquaint me with it but not very well.

I'd like to be better acquainted with them.  One day.  Soon.

I have a little more thinking to do on that blog hence why it's not up yet.

So back to my book...

Ciao Bellas!

Day one on the planet with no Facebook...

I was tempted, bloggers.  I was well and truly tempted for about ten minutes to reactivate my FB.

But then I got up and I cleaned the living room and it was all good and in between cleaning I managed to sort out my jewelry supplies as well as make soup.

As a matter of fact, I'm sitting here eating said soup and it is sooooo goood! I love it when experimenting goes well.  Wanna see?

Okay...

I usually make either beef stew or chicken soup but lately I've been mixing the two and making this beef/chicken soup that is banging if I do it right.  Well tonight I added Shrimp!  Yes I cut up pieces of jumbo shrimp and O.M.G!  It's awesome.  The girls are in the dining room eating it with thick pieces of Homemade honey Wheat bread...

The best part of cooking is watching other people eat it with that look on their face.  After I cut the bread, Liv looked up at me and said "okay thanks!  You can go now"  WITH a glob halfway to her mouth.  I could have been offended you know the whole dismissing me from the room thing, but she said it with a laugh and as a parent you have to pick and choose your battles.  This wasn't even a fight.

So tonight is the game between the Panthers and the Patriots.  Supposedly both teams are 5-0 and only one can win tonight.  Tickets for the Panthers now start at $100 and go up past $2,000 for seats thanks to them winning so much.  It's kinda an unheard of thing.  They just don't do that.  Like ever.  They suck.  Well, I guess I can't say that at the moment.  They're on a winning streak.

Okay, I need to get up and do something before the itis sets in.  Cause oh man!  I'm full!  I love soup.  I want to make cupcakes.  I feel a baking binge coming on a few days early.  I have to bake most of Friday so I wasn't looking forward to baking  until Friday but man I want some cupcakes...

Okay, I'm going to do something.  Dunno what but I have to get up...

Deactivation

So late last night I deactivated my Facebook..  Whether this was a cry for help or me finally getting fed up, I don't know but I do know that as long as my will not to be connected at the hip and mouth to the social network holds out, I will leave as such.

I did regret some friends that I lost when my oh so freaking smart phone clued in that I no longer had an active account and deleted people from the contacts list but I logged on and reactivated this morning long enough to stare a few pictures and send those people a message.

A very small part of me wants to see how long it will take some people to notice I've left.  I'm a serial poster so if they've ever read any of my stuff then they may or may not notice right off the back.  It may take a few days as I do tend to take breaks every now and then, just not to this degree.  I have always been able to be reached by Facebook message.  Now I don't even have that link anymore and you know something?  Right now, I feel a little freer than I did yesterday.

I got up this morning and started a soup.  In a few moments I plan to go clean up my living room then my kitchen and then my dining room and I may start a few new jewelry pieces.  In the next couple of weeks I plan to re arrange my bedroom.  I have to find some screens for my windows.  Winter is coming and I think I would like to have my windows up at night to catch the breeze so that I don't have to have my AC running all day and all night.  The girls got screens as did the dining room.  Granted I pulled them off the vacant house next door and someone moved in before I could swipe the front screens for my bedroom so I have to go scavenging.  I shall prevail however.  The people at the top of the cul de sac are moving out and part of me wants to go over and hijack their screen door.  Just unscrew the screws and run into the night but I think it'll look suspicious if the realty company they are going with comes to the circle and their's holes in their door frame and the screen door they THOUGHT was on that house looks exactly like the one on my door.  So hmmm... nah, I think I'm going to let that house be....

So yeah, time for me to get up and get cracking.  The day is half gone and I have alot to do.  That soup is smelling really tasty.  I kinda wish Blogger had a smell option.  Today is the usual beef and chicken but I'm also going to throw a few jumbo shrimp in there and some veggies.  This is going to be good.  I think I may also make a fresh loaf of bread or two.

Time to get crackin!

Ciao!