Tuesday, March 08, 2011

About to go military on my son.....

Well, my son has started down the road to lying again.  Stupid useless lying.  Not creative lying that he *might* have a shot at getting away with.

Remember the blog yesterday when I said the cop came to the door because the back door of the truck was left open ALL NIGHT?  I had asked him that night if the horn honked to let me know the car was locked and he said yes.  Okay granted, he got away with that sorta but dude, the consequences we could have faced...

Then he does odd chores at my moms place for a few bucks.  Usually he does the best he can and only screws it by a little.  Like loading the dishwasher but leaving every single cup on the counter.  Or vacuuming the floor with the brush pulled up so it doesn't sweep the carpet.  Or washing the mirrors with plain water instead of actual glass cleaner.  Well last night he loaded her dishwasher and she told him to dump the collard greens left in the big pot into the toilet.  He said he did.  he confirmed that he did by flushing the toilet (I was at walmart when this happened)  So she went to pull the dishes out of the dishwasher this afternoon and the whole machine is caked with collard greens because he never flushed them he just put the pot in. He knows better.  His job here is the dishes so he KNOWS how to load a dishwasher.

Tonight he stayed out until after dark playing football.  He knows the streetlights come on he comes home.  THis is not an unreasonable rule.  I know of several other mothers who have this rule.  Come lights on tonight, there was no Jovaughn.  I even gave him a grace ten minutes.  The sun was fully down and the sky nearly full dark when he decided to drag his butt back home and then he was upset to find that I locked him out.  I have rules for a reason and he's flouting them.  His reason was he didn't notice that it was getting dark.

A normal liar would have said he was having too much fun and thought maybe I wouldn't mind.  A normal liar would have said he missed some collard greens or something.

I can't stand it!  He's not creative at lying.  He has more tells than an amateur poker player.  And he lies over the absolute stupidest stuff. 

We've done this before.  We went down this road.  The last time, it was hard on both of us.  I wasn't prepared to deal with a kid that blatantly lied to me.  Now, however, the road is going to hard on mostly him.  He's the one that's going to suffer.

I even have a bit of a plan

Not Making bed:
  • First offense: Loss of outside playtime as well as no dessert and television 
  • Second offense:  The first punishment plus art supplies
  • Third offense: loss of bedroom; must sleep in living room on floor
 Not taking out the trash:
  • First Offense: Loss of outside time and no dessert or juice
  • Second Offense: The first punishment as well as no television.
  • Third Offense: extra kitchen duties as well as the first two punishments.
Ignoring Kitchen duties:
  • First Offense: Loss of ALL privileges (Outside, juice, dessert, art supplies, toys, television)
  • Second Offense:  All money in his posession gets turned over to me.
  • Third Offense: The first two punishments as well as loss of bedroom, loss of any income earned for one month.

He thinks that I am going to allow him to live with his father where he won't have to be one of three face in a house, he'll get his cell phone back, and various other things his father gives him when he's visiting.  But that's just it, when he's there, he's VISITING.  Randy is a whole different person when you are with him day and night and sooner or later, The other woman is going to resent having to be mom to a great grown child thats not hers.

I don't know.  I will let you know how bumpy the road gets.

My sleeping pill is kicking in so, Terminally Single and Blogging is going to snuggle her covers!  night all!

Monday, March 07, 2011

Okay, I was wrong...

When I said that an iv full of black coffee wouldn't help.

Convinced my mom that Dunkin' Donuts was a mjst have this AM and we get there and I should known that something was not quite kosher when I saw Agnes. (Yes, that's really her name.) This woman put cheese on my sandwich twice before when I said no cheese multiple times so why would I dare to dream that she could get a cup of coffee right??

Standard order. I ask for a large cup, draw a line, say sugar to there, three creams and french vanilla.

Agnes didn't so much as throw sugar near my cup this morning.

But as I need serious caffine to save humanity I am drinking. And boy is it working. So far in this short short morning I have nearly been rear ended, almost run over a stupid ass trying to cross a busy highway, and been rudely talked over by an old woman who apparently didn't see my large black ass standing in front of the window talking to the receptionist.

But they are all still alive.

The guy crossing the highway may not be if he kept trying to cross. Idk but I didn't hit him...

HAHA

Blog ya later babes!

And We're up...

...would be what I would say if we were actually down...  Seriously I got so little sleep I don't think a black coffee IV wouldn't help me right now.

So why am I up?  Well aside from the obvious that I had to get the kids ready for school, (which might I add no matter how many times we go through this, they STILL can't get their clothes downstairs for me to wash and then they complain that they don't get to wear what they want to.) Mommy has a Doctors appointment at nine thirty and we have to go to the city so suffice to say that crawling back in bed until nine would be very very dangerous considering shes five minutes away and the city is ten from her plus we're going uptown in the morning.

Why can't the whole world work on my schedule?  No, I don't want that cause I would have kids in school nearly twelve hours or more.  Too much time in school and not enough time to do the stupid shit kids today do.

Dude, I warned you no sleep...

So I got cable the other day.  I swear my kids IQ's dropped like fifteen points immediately.  I had the whole do what I say when I say thing on lock or at least on track and now I find myself competing with the freaking boob tube for their attention, AGAIN.  They will be so damn lucky if I don't have mommy cut the cable before the end of the year.  On the flip side I have cab;e in my room and haven't actually managed to watch a show yet.  I remember when I used to flip the TV on the second I hit the room.  Now its an odd day when it gets turned on in my presence.  You would seriously never know I grew up with one eye on the world and one on the TV.

What else?  I'm sure if you've been to my facebook page, you've seen that we took pictures yesterday.  I think I got some good one.  My kids are growing up and there's nothing like portrait pictures to yell that fact at you in blaring tones.

Wilson-Henderson Family March 2011


I keep saying that I only have nine years and some odd months until my kids are gone but looking at the pictures, IDK.  It feels like yesterday they were my babies and today they are my young adults.  Freaking Livy grew a foot in the last month.  I looked up the other day and nearly plotzed!  My baby was now at my shoulders.  She's going to be true Henderson.  Tall and thin.  My sister in law has had two kids and wears a size SIX.  Yeah you read that right.  I remember the day my former mother in law called me complaining that she had brought her some size zero jeans and they were too big.  I also remember thinking, "And the fat chick wants to hear this because..." But then I tend to think that a lot when my former MIL is talking...

Did I tell you she got the boy a phone for Christmas??  I told this woman THREE TIMES not to give him a phone and she still gives him a cell phone for Christmas.  WHAT THE FUCK???  Was I speaking Swahili or something?  I think maybe I was saying words but she was hearing the "Wah Wah Wah." like they adults speak in the Charlie Brown shows.  That is the only plausible explanation.   I mean cause any other explanation would point to her being a megabitch right?  Am I wrong?  This woman was actually nice to me for a few years and then she turned into this woman that steamrolled over me regardless of what resistance I put up.  But then, I think she does that to everyone so I really shouldn't feel especially singled out.

Someone really needs to tell her that it would be stupid to mess with a mother bear protecting her cubs when that mother bear is no longer legally attached to the vulture's family.  Bears and Vultures don't get along and if she keeps screwing with my cubs shes going to find that her visitation involves a sterile white room at your local social services and a monitor that keeps her ten feet away from them at all times.

Other people need to learn that lesson but we're not saying anything about them... LOL.

Okay, well I should be getting dressed to go get Mommy.  Blog ya later!

Terminally Single and Blogging is Outtie!!

Sunday, March 06, 2011

It's Raining, It's pouring!

So this morning, I had a nice visit from my neighborhood cop.  Seems the neighbor has been calling in someone pulling up in their driveway and sleeping in the car, FOR TWO NIGHTS NOW.

Gee, you think that might be something you'd want to mention to your neighbors with kids??

So anyway, the cop rings the doorbell and he tells me that the backdoor on the car is slightly open.  It wouldn't really be the kind of thing he noticed but seeing that he had a call about someone sleeping in a car in someone's driveway seemingly staking out the nighborhood he thought it might be connected.

What ensued from then on was me making sure the car would start (How would I explain that to my mother after just bought a new battery???)  And then remembering that I have this horrible habit of shoving my wallet in between the seats so that you have to be in the car to see it but so that I have it when I am in the car. (It was actually in my coat pocket for once)  And then thinking about the stereo.

Thankfully the car was untouched.  No one noticed that the car was open because it was closed enough that the light must have gone off.

How did this happen?  The boy.  Last night Jovaughn went out to get my pocketbook because there was something I needed in it.  I kept asking him did the car honk??  Because if the car alarm honks when I am locking it, it means all doors are closed and all is good in the hood.  He kept saying yes it honked. (Liar!) so finally I believed him and secured the house. (Did I mention I LOVE my new security system?  It has a keyfob that lets me secure my house from my bedroom in the back of the house, where I can't see the car.)  I even checked the outside before I shut off the lights and went to be last night (this morning).  It really was, for all appearances and whatnot, all good in the hood. But It wasn't. 

But all was there and all was good.  So there was no worry.  I didn't even feel the need to remind the boy that should he have left the door completely open whatever happened would have been mostly on him.

Oh well. 

Terminally single and blogging is happy all's good in the hood!

Saturday, March 05, 2011

I would just like you to note...

That the time as I am typing this is. 8:14 AM. 
On a Saturday.

I am awake before ten on a saturday.

Do you know why I am awake before ten on a Saturday?  Because we had a sleepover last night and at SEVEN FIFTEEN THIS MORNING, there was a WHAM of Almighty proportions and I thought my ceiling was going to come crashing in.

We had Kira over for an overnight last night.  All in all very good.  No trouble AT ALL.  Wanna stress that.  However I don't have rambuncous kids.  My kids get up in the morning and turn on a movie or the tv and sit quietly and eat quietly because they know that Mommy who sleeps is MUCH much MUCH nicer than Mommy who is woken up. 

Im still human if you really want to know.

I DO NOT foresee a late night tonight unless somewhere around three I catch a nap.

Ugh!  I am tired...

Oh?  What was the wham?? Kira jumped off Kayla's bed.  Teeny Tiny Little girl plus friction of falling through air plus meeting hard floor, equals WHAM.

I need coffee.  Terminally Single and blogging needs coffee... Lots of coffee.....

Friday, March 04, 2011

So Much..

...has happened in my life these last few days.

1. I got a fridge.
2. I got internet/TV/and phone
3. I got a security system!  YAY!
4. I got a couch.

My house is starting to look like a home.  Its so way beyond awesome I can't even begin to describe it!  For the first time in months, I feel okay.  Not awesome, not tubular or any of those other words but OKAY and if you know me, then okay is is as close to awesome as a second hand high with a cup full of alcohol. LOL!

Not even concerned about the man right this moment.  Dunno why.  I go through moments where if he shows its awesome if he doesn't it's the end of life as we know it, Then I got through times where if he doesn't show, oh the hell well, hes the one that missed out on another day with me.

Granted I still have those feelings that I can't explain.  Like my kids being absolutely nowhere around and I can hear a little girl laugh.  Or my kids will be stone asleep and I hear crying.  Or I drift off to sleep and a man with a baritone voice says "Goodnight.  I love you."  That one had me up and pondering a bit.  I finally chalked it up to having a very overactive imagination but then I heard it a few more times after I had alternately doused my brain with Alcohol or sleeping pills and I came up blank.

So right at the moment, life is okay.  not bad, not way good.  But okay.

So what should I talk about tonight?

I know.  Stupidity.

If you see a car coming and you still stand in the middle of the parking spot talking on your phone under the assumption that I will not hit you, you are stupid.  There is no way around that one.  Look at the license plates, bitch!  NEW JERSEY!!   Don't you know that means I will knock your stupid ass down just to get to the parking spot that's closer to the door?

You know what else is stupid?  Those guys that wear their pants so far down I see skin below their drawers.  Okay, seriously.  Not only are you stupid for letting your mirror lie to you and tell you that you looked good.  You are stupid because now you duck walk and I don't even feel the need to conceal the fact that I am laughing and pointing at you and yes, rest assured that annoying little snicker while I twitter your picture across the country, yeah that's me.  But then you have the one that wear them so low I see skin.  Either your mom is as ghetto as you or she just didn't teach you right.

And lets not forget the ones that have shit stains in the drawers and STILL wear them hanging low.  NO comment.

So I live in the bible belt.  I have accepted this fact.  I have embraced this fact.  Do you know what I cannot embrace?? Carving the name JESUS in the back of your damn skull!  I actually saw a WOMAN who had the back of her head shaved with the name JESUS in it.  I know his name, he knows his name, obviously you know his name.  Must we carve it in our heads?

While we are on the subject of heads... I have blond streaks but babe, they're braids.  Obvious braids.  You trying to rock that platinum blond weave that goes down to your ass when you are five four and blacker than my favorite sharpie marker... uh uh sweetie.  You gonna have to fire your mirror, your hairdresser, you clothes shopper, and hell just fire them all.  If you aren't a caramel, big tittie woman with a million dollars and named Lil' Kim, you are not rocking this style, you are knocking it and it is knocking you.

Old men with young women.  Seriously, I'm not discriminating but I just can't help thinking about the wrinkles on the dong and pushing them up to actually find the dong and...shudder... EW!!!!!

You know what, I could actually go on forever.  Charlotte is full of dumb people and I think I am going to try and get pictures.  Yes, I am.

I feel like netflixing something.  I will catch you all later!

One love!

Terminally Single and Blogging is calling it a night.

Long time no see!

Yeah I know, don't start...

"You promised that you were going to try and blog more and I haven't seen nor heard from you in almost a  month!!" 

Someone actually complained to me that I didn't go online and bore the masses with my constant whining...  Go fig.

But now I have Internet thanks to my more than awesome ma!


A lot has been going on and some of it good, some of it really fouled up but most of it just ehhh.  I PROMISE i will try my hardest to post more tonight about it, but at the moment I have to go get dressed to go get my ma!  Blog ya Later!

Terminally Single and Blogging is hittin the showers!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! PLEASE EVERYONE READ THIS!!!!

I know this post to my facebook and I need your help!!!

As you know my mother lives in a senior community that on its best days isn't the most courteous of places.  But this time, they have gone the distance to be the shittiest of shitty.

There is a Gay man that lives in her building that is also a cross dresser.  When he came to sign his lease for the apartment his preferred clothes were packed and he was "butch" so they had no problem with him but then the second that they saw he dressed as a woman, they decided that his behavior was inappropriate.  

The owner of the building was heard to be asking the handyman "what can be done to get rid of this?" in reference to Lee, the man in question.

Now they are refusing to take his rent for the month of April and have asked him to vacate the premises.  Based solely on this rancid act of discrimination.

PLease help!!!



The address and phone number of the community is:

The Senior Villages
1705 Queen City Drive
Charlotte, NC 28208

1.800.220.7187
Fax: 704.937.9393

The owner who wants Lee out is named Steve.

Please call your local news or call or write The Senior villages to complain.  I am trying to get this action reversed as I am opposed to any kind of discrimination and have NO HEART for bigots like these people.

Please help!!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

One more day....

So let me start this off right and say to all the happy couples, Happy Valentines Day.

I hate this day. I hate a lot of days but this day in particular is probably on that big list of days that truely suck.

As much as I wanna hunt down that winged brat. With the soggy diaper and a quiver full of arrows, (seriously, in the days where exploiting children is a major nono and being protective of all children is the new IT, NO ONE has bothered to notice that the main symbol of the day is a toddler, armed with sharp arrows and wearing nothing but a diaper that's gotta be loaded since he's been wearing it for centuries?? I'm so suprised some child advocate group hasn't come out against it.) Where was I? Oh yeah, as much as I want to bring that dammned toddler down and spank him, I still wait paitiently for MY arrow every year.

I find most days as well as valentines I wake up praying, "Please let today be the day I find my Prince Charming." I pray extra hard this day.

So I'm going to take the day in stride. I am not going to complain. I will try my best to stay away from all of those sappy happy couples that insist on amping up their PDA displays this day. And I will not threaten everyone that wishes me a happy Valentines day.

Le sigh...

Terminally Single and Blogging is going to knock a few hours off this majesticly shit promising day in bed.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I want to scream...

I know I am not worlds most patient person, hell, I'd probably be in the front run for most impatient person.

Yesterday at the near ass crack of morning, Gary from Cambridge called me and said he got the window and he'd be over on Thursday, today, to put it in. He said he'd be over at lunchtime maybe a little bit earlier. After all I usually sit at home all day anyway. Yes, he actually said that.

So at one thirty, I gave up and came to the hospital. I found her wheezing to the point of pain and discovered that she requested a neb treatment this morning and she had been ignored FOR HOURS. They had just decided to give her the pain med she had requested.

They got on point when I showed my coloring but this could have been avoided if I had been here.

To make matters worse Gary just called as I was typing the above and said he hadn't put me in as an appointment he was just going to come put the window in cause he had some other jobs out my way and he was just running behind. Its effing a quarter to three and he hadn't been able to pick up a phone and call to say this at twelve??? Then he said he was sorry I had waited so long and he'd call me later to see if I could be home this weekend to do the window.

I need to go food shopping this weekend. I can't sit around waiting for him to show or not show.

I can't do this anymore. I can't be one place for one thing and at the hospital. I need help and there's no one to do it.

I feel like screaming. I feel like just going to the woods and having a good scream....

I can't do this...