So be careful what you say. I know for a fact that I am guilty of not so clean language. Okay, that's a lie. I am guilty of some truly bad language and have been known to prove that there are dirtier mouths than drunken sailors when I'm mad. And honestly, I never thought it was that bad.
Until I had children.
For the first few years of my kids lives... I can say that because I literally had my kids back to back to back. '99, '00, and '01... I wasn't the mom that I should have been. I drank, I swore, I drove like a bat out of hell (I still kinda do but they're older so the impression has been made, I'm just keeping up with the standard I set.) I was definitely NOT Donna Reed at all. More like... well a foul mouth teen with kids. Come to think of it, my husband was in the navy and never there. When he was there he fed them sugar and had an endless string of friends in and out of the house matched only by the endless string of video games. I would have been a shoe in for Teen Mom back in the day... Too bad MTV was still actually showing music back then....
Anyway, I was not a prime example of a mom and this became abundantly clear when my children began to talk.
While driving up and down hwy 64 in Newport News Virginia I was the one that could always be counted on to be cussing out the slower drivers and trying hard to get around them. You might remember my 'R' blog on Road rage... One day I was trapped behind the slowest of drivers. I could not believe that this person was going just that slow. So of course I was mad and apparently little Jojo must have sensed this because out of nowhere, he yells "Move oudda my damb way mudder fudder!" I almost stopped clean in the middle of the highway. Needless to say I made the decision right then and there to watch my mouth around my children.
Yeah...
Next up was my big girl Kay. We had no road rage incidents around her. (I got in a really bad car accident while pregnant with her and that really mellowed me out for a LONG time.) So there were no sudden outbursts in the car. No Kay chose her venue very well for her first swear. Both Hubs and I were home and had a very religious couple over just hanging out, right? Kay is toddling around and stubs her toes on the table. It was a pure accident. What does my baby do? She looks down at her toes and then throws her head back and screams, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCK!" The couple was shocked, I was shocked, R was shocked. The problem was IDK what the couple was thinking but R kept saying that she couldn't say that and we had to discipline her but my recurring statement was that she used it right. You can't punish a child for saying that when she had the context spot on can you? I mean can you? To this day I still don't know the answer to that one. Rest assured one day I will figure out the answer and punish Kay accordingly but 13 years later, I still don't know. The very religious couple? Yeah they NEVER came over again. I decided that night that even if I hurt myself, I would curb my language around my children.
Uh huh...
And just to round out the pot of bad words my kids say, we have Liv. Again hers was in the right context so can you really punish her?? This was just after we'd gotten to SoCal and we living in Serra Mesa. R had already gone off to Miss. to help build his ship and I was alone with all three kids so it was before the summer when I had to send the boy away so he could breathe. I remember vividly because it was one of those moments that stays very clearly in your mind. Livy was not too steady on her legs having only taken her first steps a couple of months before and Kay was a bit of a meanie. Kay pushed Liv down (It was intentional, she used both hands) Liv to her credit got right back and didn't cry but then turned around and told Kay "Fuh Doo!"
I didn't bother to make a life decision about my language then. It just wasn't worth it. Now as the years have passed, I don't swear as much. as I used to. When I have a headache I don't monitor myself but mostly my Fucks have become Frick or Frack, My shits have become ish, my Damns have become dang or darn and the compound words are really funny as they pretty much come out as any matching syllable on my tongue at the moment.
So the point here is seriously watch what you say around your kids. They are parrots and you never know when they are going to say what they've heard. If you're lucky, it's around you and you can tell them no or stand there like an idiot a la me. but if you are unlucky, others could be the audience for what they say. As for me, my world is doomed. Have I already scared my kids? Yes probably for life. Have I scarred any other people's kids? Not sure but probably. Will this cycle of language continue into my years of being a grandma and scar my grand children? Probably yes. But like I said, I'm just keeping up with the standard I;ve already set...
Don't be a victim like me... End the swearing cycle now!
LOL. It was almost 80 here today. I had to roll the windows down. Now I'm drinking ice cold Kool-aid. Stay frosty Peeps!!
Honestly I don't feel like language is such an issue if your children know they can not use such words. I would say Danny and I probably cuss like a, well, a soldier, and that was BEFORE he joined the Army. Now I would bet it is worse. However, my kids won't even say the word stupid because it is a bad word in our house, like worse than a cuss word in my opinion :) Kaleb has been told on numerous occasions he can say a word if it is in the title of something, or to repeat something ugly someone said to him at school. He flat out refuses, he won't even spell it 9 times out of 10. Now yes, I do watch my tongue around other peoples children, that is common courtesy. I have noticed more and more recently though that the context of conversations around MY children from other adults is the concern. You know when they were little and you hinted about things they didn't understand.... well now people still do that, and I mean come on, Kaleb is 12, and if he doesn't completely understand he is probably pretty sure he does. That is what really bothers me when it comes down to it. They hear people curse throughout their day, and lets face it, it has become common place and they don't think twice about it. Inappropriate discussions however, I am sure they perk right up and start to wonder. So in my long winded reply, my point was in my book, cursing isn't so bad, but you need to curb your tongue when it comes to adult content around children. :) I guess I will join your club, because I too have set that standard :)
ReplyDeleteAnd she that's what I was kinda saying with Kay all those years ago. Can we really punish if they use it the right way. Now if they start talking like all these rapper out there that's a different story...
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