Peter Piper picked a peck of pickles....

First off, Today is a special day.  Today is one of my best friend's birthdays.

Happiest of happy birthdays Andi!!  I love you!!

I am one of the few people in my family that can say that rhyme.  As I know of, I am the only one in my family that can say it drinking...

That's a whole new kind of sad.  But a funny sad.  I'm actually laughing about that...

So in case you haven't guessed by the title, This is the P blog... I'm going to have to slow down... I'll be at Z in no time with nothing left to do...But start back at the beginning!

Okay, I have no idea what that P is made up of, but it looked cool so I snagged it for tonight's blog.  It looks almost like Groceries.  Pretty sure if I actually went to the site that hosted the image I'd find out but I'm lazy and at the moment I am watching Once Upon A Time.  At this point considering it's a new episode the fact that I'm writing during it means I love y'all.  Okay so I admit it, I'm blogging during the commercials... I still love y'all though...

So I thought about a topic for P for a few days and the only topic I could come up with that I could write anything about was parenting.

Now bear with me, I'm going to try not to make this one of those blogs where I condemn people but I may get off track.

In my life I have had the chance to observe a lot of parents and the way they interact with their children and I have been around long enough to see how some of those children grow up.  Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm appalled.

When I was a teenager I had a friend, H.  She was, for lack of a better word horrible.  She wasn't a champion bather and she littirally ran roughshod over her mother, a weak spirited woman that I actually never saw again after high school.  They lived in a one bedroom apartment and her mother let her have the bedroom while she slept in the living room.  The place was always cluttered with dolls and cats and I never liked going in because the smell was just... Anyway, H and I were the same age and somewhere in high school, her mom gave up and sent her to live with her dad in NYC.  Her dad wasn't any better in the parenting department as far as I am concerned and the result was that H ran rampant.  His passing away and leaving H a lot of money didn't help.  I kinda lost track of her after that but then shortly after I had Jay our paths crossed again and honestly all I can see was the kind of woman my mother always warned me to stay away from so conclusion the hands off passive parent thing was not something that was a good choice here.

Again when I was a teen I babysat for my mother's coworker and her husband.  They also lived in a one bedroom apartment but they turned the dining room into a bedroom for their boys.  They were very hands on and as a teenager, I always thought they were a little too into their sons' lives.  But then I was a teenager who only craved freedom and space anyway I could have it.  Because the mom was friends with my mom I was able to keep up with them for a awhile.  We all lost touch when her oldest son was in high school and I just went on a Google search and found her youngest son who is now 18 and a senior in college.  I do know that not long ago, her first son made her a grandmother or so I'd heard but both boys have awesome career paths and were/are smart as whips.  So in this case, I guess interactive parenting worked.

My mom bought me up the way she was brought up. She grew up in the age of Children were to be seen and not heard and spare the rod, spoil the child.  She didn't really expect me to be silent unless spoken to.  We talked.  She encouraged that.  Did I tell my mother everything I did? No.  If i had I'd be in a convent and she probably would have had a couple of strokes by now.  I can't say I was a bad girl but I wasn't as glinty gold as I looked from a distance.  Enough said in a blog.  

But I digress, I look around at some parents today and I can't fathom the childhood they had that would give them any indication that they way they are parenting is stellar.  Since I have been down here in Charlotte, I have seen parents who let their children basically run wild.  And I'm not talking about the run wild as mention with H above, I mean well and truly wild.  They don't care if their child steals, swears, and treats people around then like trash.  Across the street from my house I have a woman that moved in about two years ago.  For the first year we never saw her kids.  Didn't know she had kids but this year, they are every freaking where.  Most recently, they have been chasing each other all over the yard with a cap gun or locking each other out of the house.  The few times I have seen her she has been yelling at her kids from the car.  So I'm going to go with hand off parenting here.

I myself am trying the interactive yet hands off approach with my kids.  I'm in their face, I back off, I'm here when they need me, I'm quietly watching, I'm up in their rooms while they are at school, I'm logging onto their facebooks to read the messages and see what they're posting.  I'm all over my kids lives, especially my daughters.

There was a post on Facebook that I used to see. "Parents: Please remember that when you are done raising your kids, the rest of the world has to deal with them."  I take this to mean try and teach them the golden rule.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  If you want others to treat you with respect you must treat them with the same.

There is one kind of parent that really annoys me.  Those are the parents that drag each other on shows lik Maury and demand paternity tests.  Shaniquanaynay is dragging Demarion on the show because he knows he the daddy.  He knows it.  Ain't no way no how that he cain't be the daddy!  She ain't slept wit no one else and the chile even look like him!!  She's up there acting a fool and Maury gets the results and the baby isn't even his.  So then she's crying and running off stage and all unconsolable. But here's the kicker, she comes back with two more guys and she's back acting a fool.  Not as much of a fool since at this point she's admitting to both of these poor men that she was sleeping around on them.  one of them is denying he's the dad and the other is hoping he is the dad but then, neither of them is the dad.  She runs off the stage crying and is inconsolable.  But wait, now this woman is back and she has another man to test.

At what point does this woman realize that every single show will one day be in reruns and her child will see what a fool she's acting on national television.  If you were that child and you grew up and saw your mother acting like that would you or would you not be embarrassed.  Me personally, I would be embarrassed.

I'm no expert on parenting nor do I reserve any right to say that anyone is doing it wrong.  I just simply don't agree with most people's practices.

As always, I'm interested to see if anyone has any input.  Feel free to comment and give me your thoughts on parenting.  What makes a good parent to you?  What kind of a parent are you or do you hope to be?

Well, it's late and while my favorite movie is on, it is after midnight and it won't go off until after 2 am and even that aside, it's a serious tear jerker (A romance...The Holiday I am totally in love with Jude Law.  He's my celeb crush.  If you are out there Jude and read this, please come kiss me.  I don't want anything else from you... right now.  Just a kiss) and I don't want to go to sleep crying... again... (Let it go.)

So goodnight! Sleep tight!  Tomorrow is Cyber Monday so if you have online shopping to do this is the day!  Have fun!!