I... I... I...
I wanna chat about and interesting happening that as it happens, I wouldn't have the chance to talk about if it hadn't happened last night.
So my neighbor had a mass birthday party because like three people in her massive MASSIVE family had birthday in or around yesterday. She invited me but frankly I put on my Oopsie persona and I kinda forgot about pretty much everything. It happens. not often but it happens.
So she sent her nephew over about eight is maybe nine ish to see if I was coming over.
Dude came into my home smelled the chicken I was frying for the girls and told me it smelled good and he was gonna have to come back and get him a piece of that. Wanted to know my name, talked to my girls, pretty much broke all of the protocols for a guy entering my home. After about ten minutes of him bull shitting around "getting to know us" I finally got hi out of my house and promised to swing by the party, which I did twenty minutes later. Most of the time I was there I spent trying to move away from the nephew because he told everyone that would listen that my house smelled like cupcakes and good fried chicken. To which my neighbor then told her nephew to ask Ms. Claudette if I would give him a piece of fried chicken. (Note to self, talk to neighbor about her match making skills, she was way off on this one) I mistakenly said yeah he could have a piece of chicken, in fact since the girls were home, I told him to go over and tell the girls to give him a piece of chicken. Anything that would shut him up about said chicken (If you can't tell, I was completely ignoring the fact that he was openly flirting with me)
Around ten fifteen I said to my neighbor that I was going home and goodnight. I went home. At ten thirty my doorbell rings. It's the nephew.
Now I should explain. My neighbors family is massive and gregarious and they adopted me. Pretty much six months after I moved in, I was a member of the family. A family that has a blurry love affair with a few boundary issues. I love it, I hate it! It's like a normal relationship with a normal family.
Anyway, Dude comes in, he asks for the piece of chicken and sits down on the couch to eat. Now I'm not overly happy because I haven't invited this guy to stay or anything. He asked Kayla to turn the television to the college football game and then he sat and after he told me that my chicken was burnt but he was eating it anyway, he grilled me on which sports teams I liked. Btw, in his book I kinda failed that test because between the Giants and the Jets only I chose Jets. I didn't choose the Panthers for home pride, and I made a face at the mention of the Gamecocks. About the only thing I did right was cheer for Clemson. At this point I'm kinda pissed because I'm working on a necklace and he's keeping me from it. Since he insisted on staying I gave him some iced tea. Really I didn't mean to really. I was pouring one for myself, spiked and he took it from my hand and said Thank you and began drinking. He then declared it weak and went back to the fridge and hit my arsenal of liquor and proceeded to turn a simple firefly Iced Tea into something that the Kennedy's probably wouldn't even touch. He then sat back down and took his shoes off and got comfortable.
So I tried a different technique. I informed him that eleven P.M. was coming up and he would be leaving as I don't have male visitors in my house after that time. He said he respected that and sipped the drink. To which at five to eleven I told him to leave the cup with my neighbor and I would get it later. I said this as I was pretty much pushing him out of the door.
Put the kids to bed turned off the lights in the front of the house, went back to work realizing now that it was going to be really late when I finished because of the distractions. Eleven thirty, my doorbell rings. Nephew is back at my door to tell me his cousin spilled his drink.
I'm not an idiot, he wanted to come in and get another drink and see if he could get a little something popping. I took the cup and told him next time he was up this way I'd make him another drink and goodnight.
Seriously? Why do men assume that a woman is going to break all her rules for him? Did he really think I was just going to open my house and say come on in? Was I going to kiss him? Was I going to let him take me to my bedroom? As if!
So there's my I... my interesting happening...
I don't have a goodbye that starts with I.so uh...
I'll see ya later!!
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