Arg... I cannot get motivated...

...And seriously, you'd think that the fact that my ex is coming to stay here, at my house, for four days in less than two weeks would motivate me to get up off my tukas and clean.  BUT it hasn't.  This Christmas is going to be sucky, I already know that.

The donation thing on GoFundMe.com is going slow.  It's going though and with any hope, my kids might get a good Christmas.  After last year when they had to pretend to be happy with the two or three gifts I was able to afford, I was kinda hoping to have a Christmas where they didn't have to lie to make me feel like I wasn't a fuck up of a mom.  Next year we won't have to dance around and pretend.  Next year I plan to have a job.

But enough about the bad.

Crap, I completely forgot what I was going to blog about.

I really hate senior moments.  I used to call them blonde moments but then I realized... I'm not blonde.  I've tried to be a couple of times but it usually turns out orange and there's no such things as orange moments.

At least I sincerely hope there aren't... That would be scary if there were.

Scary for you guys I mean.  My world is creepy enough that very little scares me.  You would be terrified and reduced to cowering in a corner within ten minutes in my world.

And I still haven't remembered where I was going with this blog.

OH YEAH!!

I'm not motivated to clean.  I want to.  I really kinda sorta do.  It's not like my house is dirty... It's just messy.  There is something every single place in my house and I would kinda like to see my floor again.

But here's the thing.  Winter is that warm cozy season where you curl up with your guy and just chill.  Or in my case curl up with my pillows whose mass could be weighed against a very solid man.  IT's the season where you cuddle and watch old movies and just relax.  And then when Spring comes, you have all this energy and you get stuff done because you've spent all winter being cozy.

Yes I realize that that rationalization make absolutely no damn sense but it's my blog and I'll rationalize chalk if I want to!  LOL.

I really need to clean.  I figure if I keep saying it, I will motivate myself.

It's not working...

I'm going to go curl up with my mountain of pillows.  I have been yawning all night.  Hopefully my trazadone will negate the fact that I drank a cup full of pepsi.  I think it will.

So I've babbled on here long enough to count this as a meaningful blog.

I'm still not going to clean.  At least not tonight...

Goodnight folks!