So woke up at 2 am with a burning in my throat. If this is the worst of what I get this winter, I'm okay with that. I have a flu shot and a pneumonia shot as internal defense. I hope they work.
Of course this cements my plans to stay here in the house for New Years. I don't think I want to go out drinking and shouting if my throat is still sore. This way I have an excuse to wrap up in the blankets of my bed and sleep in the new year. Now if my throat decides it's not going to win the day then I will probably spend the new year writing. I'm making decent headway on the latest story. I also found another publisher that I'm going to submit Chasing the Duchess to. They are looking for romance and Romance suspense. If they break parts 2 and 3 into two different books and offer the prologue (part 1) as a teaser chapter for free, I feel like it will sell. They'll get two books out of it and I'll get published. Plus, Part 2 closes with Paige leaving the island with Milo unsure if he will ever find her.... In all actuality between that part and part 3 I did skip a few months... I could write a novella in the middle and be just fine. But I need to change the ending and go back to what I originally wanted. I changed it to something quick with a lead in to Juliet's book when I was pitching it to Crimson. I don't like it and I personally feel that if the author doesn't like her own ending, no one else will... well except J.K Rowling when she killed Sirius... and Dumbledore... She said she cried. I threw the book at the wall while crying.
So back to today. I am sitting here listening to the rain pour outside. I know it is so very un Christian of me but I just want to crawl back in bed and forget church. I really shouldn't be that way but I'm that way when it comes to rain. Whatever the plan, if it's raining I want to chuck it. I'm pretty sure this will apply to my wedding should I ever get the chance. Who am I kidding. Should I ever get the chance to get married again I'll probably spend the night at the top of the aisle. They'll get there and I'll be there fully decked out with a cup of coffee talking about "come on, let's go!"
So tomorrow marks two years that I have been celibate. I would love to be able to say that this was a choice. Well it was. It's a choice on the part of the men in Charlotte. Nope, can't go there, can't blame them. I am a little picky. I want who I want and I don't like substitutes. So mostly me. But here's the thing. I hate celibacy. Like seriously hate it.
And I hate sex. I'll give you a second to start breathing again. Yes I said it. Not quite out loud but I said it. I really don't like the act of sex. I'm good with foreplay, I'm good with oral but the actual act, I could really care less for. I rarely achieve orgasm and in fact that is a totally new feeling for me as the last guy I slept with was the one to show me what I'd been faking for years. If I were a shrink, I might attribute my dislike of the act to being raped in college but somehow I think it might go further than that. I don't know why. Growing up, I had no interest in boys in that way. All I wanted was to make out with them. I would even go so far as to say the thought of sharing a bed with them crossed my mind but not in a sexual way. In a holding me in his arms till morning kind of way... So no, I don't think the guy in college that pinned me against the wall and forced himself on me is the reason I don't like sex. It just seems messy and painful, and if the same ending can be achieved with hands and fingers why bother with the rest?
I am one screwed up duckling... a friend of mine once read a story I wrote where the sex scene took up like five pages and said that it made her hot, but I don't like sex. I make my characters have sex at the drop of a hat, but I don't like sex. Somehow, I think I might need to see a psych. One of my friends (Another one) said that I don't like sex because I haven't done it with the right guy. Well hell, can Mr. Right hurry the hell up and get here cause I would really love to see what people are raving about.
And in case anyone is wondering, I know I've managed to connect what? three of the letters in the alphabet blog to sex and love, but the S blog WILL NOT be sexual. I have actually chosen a pretty cute topic.
Sigh... It's eight A.M. I need to get up and start pretending that I want to leave my house. The kids run church today so my ex mother in law wants to go and see. Totally not a problem. Just means we need to be out of here by nine ish so that I can go pick her up and get to my moms so that we are on time. Then I take everybody save my mother back over to Providence court and I come home and wrap up in a blanket and raid my DVR.
That sounds like an awesome plan. Can we skip to that right now?
I would say stay frosty as per my usual closing but considering the rain outside right now, I'm gonna close with Don't float away!!
Ciao Bloggers.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Questions, Queries, Quotes....
It's time for the Q blog!!! Throw your hands up in the air and wave 'em like just don't care!!!
So if you read me regularly (or as regularly as I post) then you know I have been saying that I was going to do the Q blog for some time now but I never seem to get it up. (Although I managed to have time to do a million and a half personal blogs.) My only excuse for that is to hang my head and smile pretty and hope you forgive me.
I decided to do the Q blog on quotes that people say but most have no idea where they come from.
Let's start with a simple one.
"Don't let the cat out of the bag."
This is actually a market expression. Many many years ago when live animals were sold at market to consumers (Think they sold you the pig, you had to make your own chops and all that no nice prepackaged stuff) Some marketers would put a piglet in a bag and sell it to you. Well naturally, the piglet would not like being in the bag and he would thrash around and generally be in a panic. Some retailers would substitute a cat for the piglet because let's face it, an angry cat thrashing around sounds the same as a piglet in distress. At least that's the thought. I don't hear it and quite honestly think the sharp claws trying to rip the bag to shreds would have given it away for me. But I digress. The phrase was coined because naturally you wouldn't want to open the bag and a cat comes flying out instead of you seeing the piglet you bought at the bottom of the bag or rather Give away the secret of the deception. Hence "Don't let the cat out of the bag" means Don't tell the secret.
"You'll catch your death."
This one goes back to the nineteenth century. You will mostly hear older people say it. Back then, death was such a constant presence in most households that doing something like stubbing your toe could eventually lead to death. You could stub it, the nail could come off, most people went shoeless you got dirt under the nail which turns into an infection and boom, you're dead. To catch it, means you were chasing it. If you intentionally go out in cold weather with nothing warm on you were all but telling death that you were done on this earth and you were ready to die. And a cold was the quickest way. Nobody was exceptionally healthy so going out and getting a chill that would lead to the weakening of your already not so awesome immune system... you get the picture.
"Hell bent for leather" -Sarah Brown
Hell bent for leather does not actually seem to have an origin and many think that it is actually two phrases combined. Hell bent means recklessly determined. Your mom told you not to touch the pot on the stove, your gram told you the same thing, you even say someone get burned already but you still want to touch it. You are recklessly determined to get hurt. Hell bent meaning you will go as far as hell to get your answer. Hell for leather was actually coined by Rudyard Kipling in 1889 as a way of recklessly riding a horse. No one knows if the leather in this case is the leather riding crop or the wear and tear on the leather saddle but most take the combined phrase to mean that you will continue on the path to destruction no matter what.
"Mind your P's and Q's"
Another phrase that people are of split minds on. I actually explored this one years ago when it crossed my mind that I wanted to know where it came from and I found that it came from Old Ireland where there are public houses, or pubs aplenty. They serve their beer in Pints and Quarts. Honestly I knew about then serving pints of beer but I never ever heard of a pub serving a quart of beer, so i highly doubt the validity of this origin explaination. The second that I found was mind your pleases and thank you's R being the Please and Q being the latter half of the phrase Thank you which sounds like Q. The basic meaning of this phrase is mind your language. Because using please and thank you is always the way to be on the right side of the harsh language wall. So I guess if I tell someone to "please go eff themselves, thank you very much" I guess I'm minding my p's and q's and am therefore minding my language....
And Lastly...
"Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater!"
Let's take a trip back to the medieval times shall we? no not the totally awesome fantastic, I might just be a little biased because I love it show, I mean the actual Medieval times. When a lady was a lady and the silk and jewels were real and no body bathed regularly. Yeah. Fun fact. June brides are and always have been so popular because June is when most people took their yearly, or bi annual bath. If you got married in June, there was a good chance your mate was reasonably clean. Back to the topic. It was customary for the man in the house to take the first bath in the nice clean water. Followed by any sons, then mom, then the daughters and finally, the baby. Keep in mind that if this was an annual bath and most people had lice and other lovlies crawling on them the water was now cloudy and vermin infested and if you dropped the baby into the water and it went over his head you probably couldn't see the baby for the grime and cloudiness of the water. And because everyone was such a good parent back then it was apparently common for people to toss out the bath water with the baby still in the water. This is just my warped thinking but one if the baby slipped below the waters surface and i didn't notice, the bay is probably dead by the time I throw out the bathwater. I'm just saying... baby didn't make a sound and I've now picked up the tub and tossed it. Yep. Baby is gone.
So that's the origin of some quotes that I have heard and used but had to go and look up.
Now remember guys, mind your p's and q', don't go out without a coat or you'll catch your death and don't be hell bent for leather and throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Hehe Stay Frosty y'all!!
So if you read me regularly (or as regularly as I post) then you know I have been saying that I was going to do the Q blog for some time now but I never seem to get it up. (Although I managed to have time to do a million and a half personal blogs.) My only excuse for that is to hang my head and smile pretty and hope you forgive me.
I decided to do the Q blog on quotes that people say but most have no idea where they come from.
Let's start with a simple one.
"Don't let the cat out of the bag."
This is actually a market expression. Many many years ago when live animals were sold at market to consumers (Think they sold you the pig, you had to make your own chops and all that no nice prepackaged stuff) Some marketers would put a piglet in a bag and sell it to you. Well naturally, the piglet would not like being in the bag and he would thrash around and generally be in a panic. Some retailers would substitute a cat for the piglet because let's face it, an angry cat thrashing around sounds the same as a piglet in distress. At least that's the thought. I don't hear it and quite honestly think the sharp claws trying to rip the bag to shreds would have given it away for me. But I digress. The phrase was coined because naturally you wouldn't want to open the bag and a cat comes flying out instead of you seeing the piglet you bought at the bottom of the bag or rather Give away the secret of the deception. Hence "Don't let the cat out of the bag" means Don't tell the secret.
"You'll catch your death."
This one goes back to the nineteenth century. You will mostly hear older people say it. Back then, death was such a constant presence in most households that doing something like stubbing your toe could eventually lead to death. You could stub it, the nail could come off, most people went shoeless you got dirt under the nail which turns into an infection and boom, you're dead. To catch it, means you were chasing it. If you intentionally go out in cold weather with nothing warm on you were all but telling death that you were done on this earth and you were ready to die. And a cold was the quickest way. Nobody was exceptionally healthy so going out and getting a chill that would lead to the weakening of your already not so awesome immune system... you get the picture.
"Hell bent for leather" -Sarah Brown
Hell bent for leather does not actually seem to have an origin and many think that it is actually two phrases combined. Hell bent means recklessly determined. Your mom told you not to touch the pot on the stove, your gram told you the same thing, you even say someone get burned already but you still want to touch it. You are recklessly determined to get hurt. Hell bent meaning you will go as far as hell to get your answer. Hell for leather was actually coined by Rudyard Kipling in 1889 as a way of recklessly riding a horse. No one knows if the leather in this case is the leather riding crop or the wear and tear on the leather saddle but most take the combined phrase to mean that you will continue on the path to destruction no matter what.
"Mind your P's and Q's"
Another phrase that people are of split minds on. I actually explored this one years ago when it crossed my mind that I wanted to know where it came from and I found that it came from Old Ireland where there are public houses, or pubs aplenty. They serve their beer in Pints and Quarts. Honestly I knew about then serving pints of beer but I never ever heard of a pub serving a quart of beer, so i highly doubt the validity of this origin explaination. The second that I found was mind your pleases and thank you's R being the Please and Q being the latter half of the phrase Thank you which sounds like Q. The basic meaning of this phrase is mind your language. Because using please and thank you is always the way to be on the right side of the harsh language wall. So I guess if I tell someone to "please go eff themselves, thank you very much" I guess I'm minding my p's and q's and am therefore minding my language....
And Lastly...
"Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater!"
Let's take a trip back to the medieval times shall we? no not the totally awesome fantastic, I might just be a little biased because I love it show, I mean the actual Medieval times. When a lady was a lady and the silk and jewels were real and no body bathed regularly. Yeah. Fun fact. June brides are and always have been so popular because June is when most people took their yearly, or bi annual bath. If you got married in June, there was a good chance your mate was reasonably clean. Back to the topic. It was customary for the man in the house to take the first bath in the nice clean water. Followed by any sons, then mom, then the daughters and finally, the baby. Keep in mind that if this was an annual bath and most people had lice and other lovlies crawling on them the water was now cloudy and vermin infested and if you dropped the baby into the water and it went over his head you probably couldn't see the baby for the grime and cloudiness of the water. And because everyone was such a good parent back then it was apparently common for people to toss out the bath water with the baby still in the water. This is just my warped thinking but one if the baby slipped below the waters surface and i didn't notice, the bay is probably dead by the time I throw out the bathwater. I'm just saying... baby didn't make a sound and I've now picked up the tub and tossed it. Yep. Baby is gone.
So that's the origin of some quotes that I have heard and used but had to go and look up.
Now remember guys, mind your p's and q', don't go out without a coat or you'll catch your death and don't be hell bent for leather and throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Hehe Stay Frosty y'all!!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Christmas... My thoughts
So first off, a very belated Merry Christmas, ridiculously belated Happy Hanukkah, and a maybe in progress, Happy Kwanzaa.
I spent my Christmas up in the mountains in Cherokee. I am now foursquare mayor of the hotel and our favorite restaurant. I find this sad but oddly gratifying. Took the normal route most of the way up but then in the grand scheme of things I missed our exit and had to go through Maggie Valley. If you have any fear of driving through the mountains on itty bitty roads that have lots and lots of twists with locals that know them so well they ride your ass like a proctologist in training, DO NOT drive to Cherokee via Maggie Valley. Turn around and go back to the exit you missed. Trust me, your passengers as well as your clenching gut and throbbing head will thank you for this bit of advice I am giving you. On that note, I think I pissed off about five carfuls of locals in a span of 10 miles. Go me.
Got to the hotel. We got the same room as we had the last time. This was not a coincidence. Mommy requested it, because I requested it. It's the room closest to the front door and the coffee bar. I can drop Mommy off at the door and she can walk right in without her walker while I go park. I like this room. Despite the toilet paper holder that falls off of the wall at every opportunity, I like this room. Don't know what time we headed to the casino but we started with Dinner at Selu Cafe. We will call this Fried Chicken day number one. We then went back into the casino.
Now I have this hang up where I hate to lose money. Sure the bright lights and the incessant ding ding clang of the slot machines lure me in at first but generally after twenty, no more than forty dollars, I'm done giving my money to a brightly colored box. To this end, I pull out a book and read quietly, like the bookworm I am. Mommy works the slots, I read. This is how it's been for years. Even before I was too young to actually gamble but for some reason no one thought to card me when going onto the floor. (I guess I've always looked old... great just depressed myself...lol) I managed to finish book 2 of the Wideacre series. I still do not recommend this series. If you can get through the first one without gagging and losing your lunch repeatedly, then you will most likely be able to get through the second one with a slight bit of gratification towards the end but the top of book three drags ass... Anyway, I had been sitting there for about twenty minutes when my tummy decided that it decidedly DID NOT like the chocolate cake we had for dessert and since I have Lutropublicaphobia (Fear of using public restrooms unless in extreme EXTREME circumstances) so I hightailed it back to the hotel. This was actually funny because between the Casino and the hotel lies Tomahawk Village. Yes, they went there. They totally went there. Anyway, the speed limit for that torturous stretch of one mile is 20 MPH and there is ALWAYS a tribal Police car sitting somewhere on it. To tell you that I gave a good goddamn if i was going 20 that night would be an outright lie. To tell you that I was so relieved there was no police officer to see me taking the village like I had a rocket attached to the car is an understatement.
Christmas morning, or rather near afternoon, we went back fro dinner at Selu Cafe. We will call this Fried Chicken day #2 There was no special food set out for Christmas because it's just another day for the Indian reservation. Thanksgiving was the big day... Ate and then went to the movie theatre between the hotel and the casino and saw Madea's Christmas. OMG that movie is freaking hilarious!! Madea always cracks me up but Tyler went and thre not only her and Larry the Cable guy in there together but at the end, he had the lady who "ain't got time for that" and the young man who told all of youtube to "Hide yo wife! Hide yo Kids!" in it. I about died laughing!! Decided not to give the slot machines any more of my money that night and I dropped Mommy off at the casino. Went back about eleven to get her.
The day after Christmas, now that was fun. First off, the glorious people that decide what is to be served at the continental breakfast chose bacon. Real actual bacon! I dropped a piece into my hot chocolate (Which I always empty an envelope on top of and don't stir in because I like it that way) and decided I wasn't wasting my bacon just because it was now covered in hot chocolate and ate it anyway. OMG! unicorns farted rainbows and Martha Stewart said, "It's a good thing!" What followed was probably the most bizarre display of me dipping my slices of bacon into my hot chocolate and chowing down. No, I'm not pregnant, stop looking at me like that. I will however be going over to Patty's to get my fondue set and further investigating this whole chocolate dipped bacon thing. Then we hit the road to Bryson City ten miles away so that we could get on the Great Smokey Mountain Railroad.
Now the train itself was pretty cool. It moved slow enough for me to get some really nice pictures of the river and surrounding mountains...(Smokey Mountain Railroad pics) but we were on the train with the Duck Dynasty-esque family of about a half a million from Louisiana and despite the fact that it was BELOW FREEZING that morning, they had every single freaking window raised on that train car. When Mommy went to sleep, for a minute there I was worried that it was the first stages of freezing to death. Then some train conductor God turned on the heat in ferocious blasts and it wasn't so horrible in the car. We got to Dillsboro and did our exploring. I got some more cool pictures and we wandered around for the hour and a half given to us. Got back on the train and came back to the depot. Whole trip took four hours. It was fun. Cold and loud but fun. I would actually do it again in the summer or in the winter if I had about three more layers of clothes on. Got back to Cherokee and needed something to eat so we hit up the KFC, So we'll now call this Fried Chicken day 3. Went back to the hotel and had lunch and then I basically sacked for a bit because I could not get warm to save my life. Even wrapped up in blankets I was still bone cold. I attribute this to me thinking I was cute wearing my blue outfit that morning and the hillbilly family from hell making the train colder than it needed to be. After turning the the heat in the room up to 80 and listening to mommy saw serious logs because the heat knocked her out, we went back to the Casino about nine.
Harrah's in their infinite wisdom gave us each a $20 food credit for restaurants in the hotel and let's just say that I was kinda hungry but I DID NOT want anymore fried Chicken (Small aside, fried Chicken is generally the only thing I trust when eating places because I don't do sauces and whatnot that everyone likes to cook their food in plus, I'm allergic to Garlic so it's generally a safe bet that it's there's fried chicken, I can eat.) Mommy chose slots over at the corner of the casino and when I looked up at the most delicious of smells I found myself staring at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse where they say that if you go in be prepared to spend a hundred bucks. I have never been because I don't care if you dip the damn cow in gold and diamonds before putting it on my plate, no steak is worth that to me. HOWEVER, with a $20 food credit to take the brunt of the $38 dollar steak, I could see paying $18 +plus tax for it.
Mastication was slow because I wanted to savor it. I didn't think to get a picture until it was all gone and there was nothing special about the plate so I didn't bother. Left there and mommy said she wanted to stay, that she wasn't done but she didn't want me to go. Now in all fairness, I was kidding when I said this, but I told her if she wanted me to stay past midnight when she could go to the ATM again, it would be a babysitting fee of $40. Color me all kinds of surprised when she says "Okay!" Insert happy dance because I walked into the casino with $100 and I walked out with $86 Go me!!! Went to get her money and proceeded to sit at a slot machine drinking root beer until two AM.
Had to leave today because I have to take the kids to church practice tonight and dammit if at some point I jumped on the wrong highway and didn't notice until I saw a nice big sign saying "Welcome to South Carolina" coming at me. I didn't panic. Mommy panicked and called OnStar but in the middle of the conversation I told her nevermind because I saw a sign saying highway 85 was 14 miles away. I was good. Once I got to 85 I was golden. Caught me a couple of rabbits and made it home in no time.
So I had fun. Did have two down spots this holiday. On christmas morning, I found out from my cousin that another cousin's grandmother had passed away. The fact that the woman passed away was not the shocker though. It was the fact that my cousin never said a word. She and I have been close all of our life and she didn't bother to tell me that her grandmother had passed. But on that very same note, while I am hurt, I'm still not as surprised as it sounds. All of our life if she had a family member that wasn't connected to me by blood, it was her family member not mine. Never mind that I come from a family where if you marry the guy from three towns over his whole family becomes your famliy's family (I.E. if my new mother in law had a cousin that passed away my mother would spread the word to my side of the family that we had a cousin pass away you get it. Your family is immediately my family's family.) Add as many banjos and hillbilly jokes as you want, that's the way it's always been with us, but not with her. When her father, who was the blood link between us passed away both she and her mother pulled away from our family like their membership was up or something. It hurts. I would have liked to have been there for my cousin in her time of need but I wasn't given the chance. It's whatever.
The morning after Christmas, my Aunt called to say that her very best friend in the world who was like another aunt to me passed away. She'd been sick for a long time but still it was not expected right then. I feel bad for my aunt and for my "aunt"'s family. They are supremely nice people.
I can't help but wonder. Death usually rounds up people in threes. This is two of my family members making the trip to glory with him. Will he be taking a third from us? I hope not. With every fibre of my being I hope not.
Secondly, above you may have heard me describe the large family on the train as the Duck Dynasty-esque family from hell. Let me be clear. I have no problem with country families nor do I have a problem with the Duck Dynasty family. The problem I have is that while the men on that show have long beards and long hair and might be on the large side of the scale they are most certainly clean guys. There are men out here that see that these guys live in the country and have this persona of being hillbilly and they think it's cool to emulate them and come out looking like they do and smelling like they THINK these guys smell. No! Those guys do not smell of beer and funk. Being on television and with wives that look as good as those women do, I can assure you they more likely do not smell like they just crawled out of the beer and vomit smelling sewer that runs under the dirtiest trailer park in America. If you want to come out of the house in Camos and have long hair and beards and be a bit on the husky male side, fine with me but dude, wash the clothes. Wash the beards and the hair. Lift the folds of skin and wash there too. Just because the look is redneck dirty doesn't mean they are dirty and neither should you be. I can't stand anyone that smells of funk and alcohol. I used to couldn't stand the irony smell that some men get after working hard all day but it has actually kinda grown on me like a perverse cologne. I can't smell it for long but certain guys that have that worked hard sweat smell do not repulse me.
Sigh. The 30th of this month will mark two years celibate for me. I think that might be the only thing that sucks about life right now. Everything else is good. Being celibate sucks. Being celibate always sucks really. At least to me. I could never be a nun or a priest. I would never get to do good in my life for saying hail mary's for the impure thoughts.
And on the hilarious thought of me being a nun, I will close out this blog. Stay Frosty y'all!!!
I spent my Christmas up in the mountains in Cherokee. I am now foursquare mayor of the hotel and our favorite restaurant. I find this sad but oddly gratifying. Took the normal route most of the way up but then in the grand scheme of things I missed our exit and had to go through Maggie Valley. If you have any fear of driving through the mountains on itty bitty roads that have lots and lots of twists with locals that know them so well they ride your ass like a proctologist in training, DO NOT drive to Cherokee via Maggie Valley. Turn around and go back to the exit you missed. Trust me, your passengers as well as your clenching gut and throbbing head will thank you for this bit of advice I am giving you. On that note, I think I pissed off about five carfuls of locals in a span of 10 miles. Go me.
Got to the hotel. We got the same room as we had the last time. This was not a coincidence. Mommy requested it, because I requested it. It's the room closest to the front door and the coffee bar. I can drop Mommy off at the door and she can walk right in without her walker while I go park. I like this room. Despite the toilet paper holder that falls off of the wall at every opportunity, I like this room. Don't know what time we headed to the casino but we started with Dinner at Selu Cafe. We will call this Fried Chicken day number one. We then went back into the casino.
Now I have this hang up where I hate to lose money. Sure the bright lights and the incessant ding ding clang of the slot machines lure me in at first but generally after twenty, no more than forty dollars, I'm done giving my money to a brightly colored box. To this end, I pull out a book and read quietly, like the bookworm I am. Mommy works the slots, I read. This is how it's been for years. Even before I was too young to actually gamble but for some reason no one thought to card me when going onto the floor. (I guess I've always looked old... great just depressed myself...lol) I managed to finish book 2 of the Wideacre series. I still do not recommend this series. If you can get through the first one without gagging and losing your lunch repeatedly, then you will most likely be able to get through the second one with a slight bit of gratification towards the end but the top of book three drags ass... Anyway, I had been sitting there for about twenty minutes when my tummy decided that it decidedly DID NOT like the chocolate cake we had for dessert and since I have Lutropublicaphobia (Fear of using public restrooms unless in extreme EXTREME circumstances) so I hightailed it back to the hotel. This was actually funny because between the Casino and the hotel lies Tomahawk Village. Yes, they went there. They totally went there. Anyway, the speed limit for that torturous stretch of one mile is 20 MPH and there is ALWAYS a tribal Police car sitting somewhere on it. To tell you that I gave a good goddamn if i was going 20 that night would be an outright lie. To tell you that I was so relieved there was no police officer to see me taking the village like I had a rocket attached to the car is an understatement.
Christmas morning, or rather near afternoon, we went back fro dinner at Selu Cafe. We will call this Fried Chicken day #2 There was no special food set out for Christmas because it's just another day for the Indian reservation. Thanksgiving was the big day... Ate and then went to the movie theatre between the hotel and the casino and saw Madea's Christmas. OMG that movie is freaking hilarious!! Madea always cracks me up but Tyler went and thre not only her and Larry the Cable guy in there together but at the end, he had the lady who "ain't got time for that" and the young man who told all of youtube to "Hide yo wife! Hide yo Kids!" in it. I about died laughing!! Decided not to give the slot machines any more of my money that night and I dropped Mommy off at the casino. Went back about eleven to get her.
The day after Christmas, now that was fun. First off, the glorious people that decide what is to be served at the continental breakfast chose bacon. Real actual bacon! I dropped a piece into my hot chocolate (Which I always empty an envelope on top of and don't stir in because I like it that way) and decided I wasn't wasting my bacon just because it was now covered in hot chocolate and ate it anyway. OMG! unicorns farted rainbows and Martha Stewart said, "It's a good thing!" What followed was probably the most bizarre display of me dipping my slices of bacon into my hot chocolate and chowing down. No, I'm not pregnant, stop looking at me like that. I will however be going over to Patty's to get my fondue set and further investigating this whole chocolate dipped bacon thing. Then we hit the road to Bryson City ten miles away so that we could get on the Great Smokey Mountain Railroad.
Now the train itself was pretty cool. It moved slow enough for me to get some really nice pictures of the river and surrounding mountains...(Smokey Mountain Railroad pics) but we were on the train with the Duck Dynasty-esque family of about a half a million from Louisiana and despite the fact that it was BELOW FREEZING that morning, they had every single freaking window raised on that train car. When Mommy went to sleep, for a minute there I was worried that it was the first stages of freezing to death. Then some train conductor God turned on the heat in ferocious blasts and it wasn't so horrible in the car. We got to Dillsboro and did our exploring. I got some more cool pictures and we wandered around for the hour and a half given to us. Got back on the train and came back to the depot. Whole trip took four hours. It was fun. Cold and loud but fun. I would actually do it again in the summer or in the winter if I had about three more layers of clothes on. Got back to Cherokee and needed something to eat so we hit up the KFC, So we'll now call this Fried Chicken day 3. Went back to the hotel and had lunch and then I basically sacked for a bit because I could not get warm to save my life. Even wrapped up in blankets I was still bone cold. I attribute this to me thinking I was cute wearing my blue outfit that morning and the hillbilly family from hell making the train colder than it needed to be. After turning the the heat in the room up to 80 and listening to mommy saw serious logs because the heat knocked her out, we went back to the Casino about nine.
Harrah's in their infinite wisdom gave us each a $20 food credit for restaurants in the hotel and let's just say that I was kinda hungry but I DID NOT want anymore fried Chicken (Small aside, fried Chicken is generally the only thing I trust when eating places because I don't do sauces and whatnot that everyone likes to cook their food in plus, I'm allergic to Garlic so it's generally a safe bet that it's there's fried chicken, I can eat.) Mommy chose slots over at the corner of the casino and when I looked up at the most delicious of smells I found myself staring at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse where they say that if you go in be prepared to spend a hundred bucks. I have never been because I don't care if you dip the damn cow in gold and diamonds before putting it on my plate, no steak is worth that to me. HOWEVER, with a $20 food credit to take the brunt of the $38 dollar steak, I could see paying $18 +plus tax for it.
Mastication was slow because I wanted to savor it. I didn't think to get a picture until it was all gone and there was nothing special about the plate so I didn't bother. Left there and mommy said she wanted to stay, that she wasn't done but she didn't want me to go. Now in all fairness, I was kidding when I said this, but I told her if she wanted me to stay past midnight when she could go to the ATM again, it would be a babysitting fee of $40. Color me all kinds of surprised when she says "Okay!" Insert happy dance because I walked into the casino with $100 and I walked out with $86 Go me!!! Went to get her money and proceeded to sit at a slot machine drinking root beer until two AM.
Had to leave today because I have to take the kids to church practice tonight and dammit if at some point I jumped on the wrong highway and didn't notice until I saw a nice big sign saying "Welcome to South Carolina" coming at me. I didn't panic. Mommy panicked and called OnStar but in the middle of the conversation I told her nevermind because I saw a sign saying highway 85 was 14 miles away. I was good. Once I got to 85 I was golden. Caught me a couple of rabbits and made it home in no time.
So I had fun. Did have two down spots this holiday. On christmas morning, I found out from my cousin that another cousin's grandmother had passed away. The fact that the woman passed away was not the shocker though. It was the fact that my cousin never said a word. She and I have been close all of our life and she didn't bother to tell me that her grandmother had passed. But on that very same note, while I am hurt, I'm still not as surprised as it sounds. All of our life if she had a family member that wasn't connected to me by blood, it was her family member not mine. Never mind that I come from a family where if you marry the guy from three towns over his whole family becomes your famliy's family (I.E. if my new mother in law had a cousin that passed away my mother would spread the word to my side of the family that we had a cousin pass away you get it. Your family is immediately my family's family.) Add as many banjos and hillbilly jokes as you want, that's the way it's always been with us, but not with her. When her father, who was the blood link between us passed away both she and her mother pulled away from our family like their membership was up or something. It hurts. I would have liked to have been there for my cousin in her time of need but I wasn't given the chance. It's whatever.
The morning after Christmas, my Aunt called to say that her very best friend in the world who was like another aunt to me passed away. She'd been sick for a long time but still it was not expected right then. I feel bad for my aunt and for my "aunt"'s family. They are supremely nice people.
I can't help but wonder. Death usually rounds up people in threes. This is two of my family members making the trip to glory with him. Will he be taking a third from us? I hope not. With every fibre of my being I hope not.
Secondly, above you may have heard me describe the large family on the train as the Duck Dynasty-esque family from hell. Let me be clear. I have no problem with country families nor do I have a problem with the Duck Dynasty family. The problem I have is that while the men on that show have long beards and long hair and might be on the large side of the scale they are most certainly clean guys. There are men out here that see that these guys live in the country and have this persona of being hillbilly and they think it's cool to emulate them and come out looking like they do and smelling like they THINK these guys smell. No! Those guys do not smell of beer and funk. Being on television and with wives that look as good as those women do, I can assure you they more likely do not smell like they just crawled out of the beer and vomit smelling sewer that runs under the dirtiest trailer park in America. If you want to come out of the house in Camos and have long hair and beards and be a bit on the husky male side, fine with me but dude, wash the clothes. Wash the beards and the hair. Lift the folds of skin and wash there too. Just because the look is redneck dirty doesn't mean they are dirty and neither should you be. I can't stand anyone that smells of funk and alcohol. I used to couldn't stand the irony smell that some men get after working hard all day but it has actually kinda grown on me like a perverse cologne. I can't smell it for long but certain guys that have that worked hard sweat smell do not repulse me.
Sigh. The 30th of this month will mark two years celibate for me. I think that might be the only thing that sucks about life right now. Everything else is good. Being celibate sucks. Being celibate always sucks really. At least to me. I could never be a nun or a priest. I would never get to do good in my life for saying hail mary's for the impure thoughts.
And on the hilarious thought of me being a nun, I will close out this blog. Stay Frosty y'all!!!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Okay sleepy sleepers.
One last blog before I tuck in and hit the hay.
Stomach was a little better today. Well no not right off but it got better. I had to break down and take a tramadol in the middle of the day. Something I never ever do because of the sleepy element in it. Good news! Tram doesn't put me to sleep apparently... Yeah I can so see the look of reproach on your faces right now. I'm not shivering in my seat. Well yes, I am actually but that's because the AC is on so that everyone can breathe at night and my covers are screaming my name. If life were just a little bit crazier than it already is and furniture was alive and had rights, I'm pretty sure my bed would sue reality for custody of me because honestly, our relationship has gone very downhill. Not enough quality time by far spent with each other. The sad thing is it wouldn't even have to sue reality, it would really need to do a joint suit against my desk chair and my bookcase. Maybe the car.
Mom had her car for two days. I worried that she wouldn't be alrighty okay but at the same time I was so copacetic to sit back and not do a damn thing. I totally forgot how relaxing that is. Of course I was maroon on Isla De Dette for a real reason but still. I got to lounge in my bed freaking two mornings in a row. That was probably a druggies equivalent of smoking crack... for free.
Tomorrow is the Christmas performance at church then Christmas shopping with the kids and Church on Sunday then doing Christmas with Mommy and I on Monday and I think I am going to take them to their dads house right after dinner.
Is it sad that thing I am looking forward most to this Christmas is adult time?
I'm always an adult but for the moment I'm considering my Christmas Gift that I don't have to be Mom for a few days. I know I say this way too often for it to be considered TMI now, but I could have nekkid time if I wanted to. (I talk about nekkid time way too much, don't I? Eh oh well...)
No shit, I just sat here for a full five minutes picturing what I'm going to do with my time. I see myself sitting in this same spot or curled up with my books. I started the second book in the Wideacre series. The second book is vastly better than the first one. Beatrice was killed by Ralph at the end of the first one by the way. I know I stopped giving synopsis (Synopsi?? Synopsises??) of it but that honestly because you didn't want to know anymore. She helped plan Ralph killing her dad, she slept with her brother had a baby girl by him and got his wife to take her as her own, then she had a baby boy by him and got married and tried to convince him that it was her husbands son but old boy was a doctor and new better. He got piss drunk for maybe six chapters and he figured out where the baby came from and the night he came home her mother caught Bea and her bro on the parlor room floor so she overdosed the woman on Laudanum and there went Mom. Husband started to put pieces together and she had him committed and then she tanked the family farm and Ralph came back to kill her. Seriously. If Someone says you should read Wideacre JUST SAY NO! You don't want to walk that path. Especially if you are the type of person that has an OCD complex that drives you batshit if you don't finish a book even if it is a spectacular work of crap.
The second one is better. The girl is secretly betrothed to her cousin who her mom thinks is her half brother but is reality her full brother and they are trying to forbid it.
God I wished I lived in the times of arranged marriage.
No I don't. No. I don't.
Sometimes I think an arranged marriage would be better than this lonely single act. Can I go ahead and get my grammy for best leading actress in a Non fiction non Romance Reality-esque drama so I can retire? I would like to retire.
Slightly embarrassing moment yesterday. Livy found my pad of paper that has two pages in it. Last summer It was put to me that I should have some expectations as far as men were concerned and in my unique style, I wrote them down. Like I'd forget them. Anyway, I had it in a secret spot (Which is to say I lost it.) and she found it. I think I got to her before she read them. Crisis averted, I know where they are now. They haven't really changed but I know where they are now...
Okay loves. Melatonin is kicking in. Eyes are droopy. Sweet dreams await me in the recesses of my mind.
I would say stay frosty but I'm shivering enough for all of you combined and the freaking air just kicked over again. Goodnight!
By the way, I have a houseful tonight. It's a good thing.
Stomach was a little better today. Well no not right off but it got better. I had to break down and take a tramadol in the middle of the day. Something I never ever do because of the sleepy element in it. Good news! Tram doesn't put me to sleep apparently... Yeah I can so see the look of reproach on your faces right now. I'm not shivering in my seat. Well yes, I am actually but that's because the AC is on so that everyone can breathe at night and my covers are screaming my name. If life were just a little bit crazier than it already is and furniture was alive and had rights, I'm pretty sure my bed would sue reality for custody of me because honestly, our relationship has gone very downhill. Not enough quality time by far spent with each other. The sad thing is it wouldn't even have to sue reality, it would really need to do a joint suit against my desk chair and my bookcase. Maybe the car.
Mom had her car for two days. I worried that she wouldn't be alrighty okay but at the same time I was so copacetic to sit back and not do a damn thing. I totally forgot how relaxing that is. Of course I was maroon on Isla De Dette for a real reason but still. I got to lounge in my bed freaking two mornings in a row. That was probably a druggies equivalent of smoking crack... for free.
Tomorrow is the Christmas performance at church then Christmas shopping with the kids and Church on Sunday then doing Christmas with Mommy and I on Monday and I think I am going to take them to their dads house right after dinner.
Is it sad that thing I am looking forward most to this Christmas is adult time?
I'm always an adult but for the moment I'm considering my Christmas Gift that I don't have to be Mom for a few days. I know I say this way too often for it to be considered TMI now, but I could have nekkid time if I wanted to. (I talk about nekkid time way too much, don't I? Eh oh well...)
No shit, I just sat here for a full five minutes picturing what I'm going to do with my time. I see myself sitting in this same spot or curled up with my books. I started the second book in the Wideacre series. The second book is vastly better than the first one. Beatrice was killed by Ralph at the end of the first one by the way. I know I stopped giving synopsis (Synopsi?? Synopsises??) of it but that honestly because you didn't want to know anymore. She helped plan Ralph killing her dad, she slept with her brother had a baby girl by him and got his wife to take her as her own, then she had a baby boy by him and got married and tried to convince him that it was her husbands son but old boy was a doctor and new better. He got piss drunk for maybe six chapters and he figured out where the baby came from and the night he came home her mother caught Bea and her bro on the parlor room floor so she overdosed the woman on Laudanum and there went Mom. Husband started to put pieces together and she had him committed and then she tanked the family farm and Ralph came back to kill her. Seriously. If Someone says you should read Wideacre JUST SAY NO! You don't want to walk that path. Especially if you are the type of person that has an OCD complex that drives you batshit if you don't finish a book even if it is a spectacular work of crap.
The second one is better. The girl is secretly betrothed to her cousin who her mom thinks is her half brother but is reality her full brother and they are trying to forbid it.
God I wished I lived in the times of arranged marriage.
No I don't. No. I don't.
Sometimes I think an arranged marriage would be better than this lonely single act. Can I go ahead and get my grammy for best leading actress in a Non fiction non Romance Reality-esque drama so I can retire? I would like to retire.
Slightly embarrassing moment yesterday. Livy found my pad of paper that has two pages in it. Last summer It was put to me that I should have some expectations as far as men were concerned and in my unique style, I wrote them down. Like I'd forget them. Anyway, I had it in a secret spot (Which is to say I lost it.) and she found it. I think I got to her before she read them. Crisis averted, I know where they are now. They haven't really changed but I know where they are now...
Okay loves. Melatonin is kicking in. Eyes are droopy. Sweet dreams await me in the recesses of my mind.
I would say stay frosty but I'm shivering enough for all of you combined and the freaking air just kicked over again. Goodnight!
By the way, I have a houseful tonight. It's a good thing.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Twas the Friday before Christmas
And all through the house, not a creature was stirring, especially not the mouse!
So I'd like to say that I am just now getting on the computer at nine thirty because I was busy around the house and just sat down but the truth is, I lounged in bed reading. Not sleeping but wide awake and reading.
So I'd like to say that I am just now getting on the computer at nine thirty because I was busy around the house and just sat down but the truth is, I lounged in bed reading. Not sleeping but wide awake and reading.
So the girls and I cleaned my room yesterday. I did the big stuff at standing level and they did the floor seeing as how I couldn't bend. And then I fixed the vacuum and Livy surprised me by vacuuming the floor in here. Aside from under my bed, or rather No man's land as I call it, my room looks very nice. It'll probably stay like this until I go to look for something and then muck it all up again. I try to have a neat room but here's the thing: When I was a kid, I kept it mildly tidy because my mom would get on my ass ergo I had someone who was looking at it. When I was in college, I kept it clean for the first few days because I had a roommate but then, Corey moved out and I had the room to myself for a semester. To say it was bad was only scraping the surface. It wasn't dirty never that. I don't hoard food in my room and occasionally come out with bones, bottles, and plates no but it was messy. Then I got a roommate again and boom I kept it tidy. When I got married, the bedroom had it's disaster moments, usually when I was looking for something, but if he was in port I cleaned it up pretty quickly. When he was out to see... not so quickly. Then I got divorced and let's just say I strived to clean the bedroom once every three months or whenever I couldn't see the floor anymore... Whichever came first...
So back to today... or rather yesterday. The room got cleaned. I'm not sure if I hit the three month mark or I just got tired of stubbing my toes and stepping over things but it needed to get cleaned. I changed my fitted sheet on my bed and put the other one in the wash. (I really need a second queen sized fitted sheet because having the one and then use king sized sheets until it's washed is not very good. The king sized sheets are understandably too big and on the nights when I have a crazy dream or restless sleep, I always get tangled up in the extra cloth... Personally I think just getting a king sized bed will fix this problem but que sera...) So I now have a purple sheet on that doesn't match a damn thing but then my sheets haven't matched in a long time. Then the girls and I put my gold comforter that Donna gave me last year inside the velveteen duvet I bought two years ago. That was fun. Livy actually crawled up inside it to put the blanket in. Then we smoothed it over my bed.
So yesterday was Livy's birthday! She got spaghetti for the night. That is her favorite meal of mine. Her father said that she asked him for tacos. I guess she has a different meal per household. I for one never liked his tacos but them I never really liked a lot of his cooking and that's not a reflection on him or his cooking. I'm a spoiled brat who was never made to eat or try anything she didn't want to and if what he cooked didn't look or smell appetizing to me, I didn't eat it. He never complained and I never made a big deal out of it. I always kept something in the house for me that only I ate so it was all good.
After dinner, they got showered and whatnot and I got to go out to the movies! Went to see Thor 2. I'm not going to post spoilers but let me just say that the villain's minions in this movie looked like Teletubbies all grown up. I half expected the baby in the sun to show up most of the time they were on screen. But Thor 2 is very good. Very freaking good.
Got home a little after midnight and immediately curled up in my bed. OMG my sheets felt so good that I almost crawled in naked and just lay there but then I remembered my kids are in house and they come in every school day morning to wake me at 7:10 (I'm usually already awake because they are NOT the quietest children in the world but I make a good show of being sleep when they come in. Every now and then they actually do catch me asleep though.) and it WOULD NOT be awesome if I was sprawled out in bed without a stitch of clothing on. I only get to do that when they are at their father's house. Needless to say, I plan to have more than a Couple clothesless days this winter break when they are over there. I may even have a day where I pretend everything inside my house is a nudist colony... No, not really. I'm way too self conscious for that but still it sounds fun.
I'm not eating again. I don't know why. I went all yesterday with not a bit of actual food crossing my lips. and i didn't feel any worse for it. I tried to eat a pop tart this morning but it just wasn't what I wanted and I got maybe half of the first one down so yeah... waste of pop tarts. Even at the movies yesterday all I had was a root beer and not even half of that. (That's why I never let anyone pay for my drinks at the movies. They cost so damn much and I never finish them so I hate feeling like I'm wasting people's money.) I'd like to lay blame on the slight tummy issues but I don't think I can. Dr. said I have diverticulitis and some other stuff. I have to look that up. I will have to ask is this why I don't feel like eating. It's to the point now where when I do feel like eating, a little bit fills me and then it hurt like nobody's business for hours after and I don't eat anymore for awhile because there is no way in hell I want to invite that pain back into my life. At some point I'm going to have to work something out. Although I have extra energy and my weight is dropping off me like I'm getting slow lipo I can't help but feel like all is not right in the world of Dette. I'll figure it out. One day.
So I'm off. I'm going to go check my weight on Wii Fit before getting sucked into a game of four. I should get dressed as well... Mom will be here in a hour. Ta Bloggers! Stay frosty!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
grrr....
So I decided to clean my room this morning. Good idea, bad timing. I should have listened when they said no bending for two maybe three days. But no! Headstrong me had to go and clean. I should done like I planned and stayed my happy ass in bed.
Whatever, I will survive. The room needs to be cleaned, the sheets need to be washed. I shall prevail... just not the stuff on the floor. The girls can do that when they get home.
Today is Olivia's birthday!! Not only does this mean she officially hits Tween (12) it means that I managed to keep her alive for twelve years!
Seriously that's a HUGE accomplishment. There are times when I sit and wonder if I am a eff up of a mom and there are times when I sit back and wonder how my kids are still alive let alone speaking to me because I know I effed up. Like I forgot Kay's birthday this year. Not sure I even said Happy Birthday to her but I forgot it. I sent her a card the other day and she was all happy but dude, if i turned thirteen and my mom forgot my day... oh hell would have bowed down at my fury. Kay handled it in stride.
Liv fairly attacked me for her cards this a.m. I mean that literally. I hid them because I knew one of them had money in it and she fairly attacked me this morning. She walked in my room and began beating the bed. I forgive the hitting of my middle because she was so excited but damn ow.
I have two more gifts to make so I can give them tonight. I actually need to get up from here and get that done. But I need to strip my bed. Hmmm... Jewelry or housework...? I know which one is going to win but I'm prepared to put up a hell of a fight for the other one.
Screw it. Jewelry then bed.
I did manage to fix the dresser drawer that lost its front three years ago. It took epoxy and hot glue but that sumbitch is officially back together and my dresser looks whole again. Kinda like it. It's time to redo my bedroom again. That's always fun. Well fun after its done anyway. I think I'll put that off on a day when I don't have a sharp pain in the exact middle of my body.
Okay, I'm outtie. Think I'll strip the bed first. Yeah... I'll strip the bed first. yeah....
Whatever, I will survive. The room needs to be cleaned, the sheets need to be washed. I shall prevail... just not the stuff on the floor. The girls can do that when they get home.
Today is Olivia's birthday!! Not only does this mean she officially hits Tween (12) it means that I managed to keep her alive for twelve years!
Seriously that's a HUGE accomplishment. There are times when I sit and wonder if I am a eff up of a mom and there are times when I sit back and wonder how my kids are still alive let alone speaking to me because I know I effed up. Like I forgot Kay's birthday this year. Not sure I even said Happy Birthday to her but I forgot it. I sent her a card the other day and she was all happy but dude, if i turned thirteen and my mom forgot my day... oh hell would have bowed down at my fury. Kay handled it in stride.
Liv fairly attacked me for her cards this a.m. I mean that literally. I hid them because I knew one of them had money in it and she fairly attacked me this morning. She walked in my room and began beating the bed. I forgive the hitting of my middle because she was so excited but damn ow.
I have two more gifts to make so I can give them tonight. I actually need to get up from here and get that done. But I need to strip my bed. Hmmm... Jewelry or housework...? I know which one is going to win but I'm prepared to put up a hell of a fight for the other one.
Screw it. Jewelry then bed.
I did manage to fix the dresser drawer that lost its front three years ago. It took epoxy and hot glue but that sumbitch is officially back together and my dresser looks whole again. Kinda like it. It's time to redo my bedroom again. That's always fun. Well fun after its done anyway. I think I'll put that off on a day when I don't have a sharp pain in the exact middle of my body.
Okay, I'm outtie. Think I'll strip the bed first. Yeah... I'll strip the bed first. yeah....
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Okay, up and at 'em cowboy
Or rather, sorta up and pretending to be at 'em...
I'm back. In reality I was back by a quarter to ten this morning, but as totally predicted in my last blog I hit the door, I hit the bed and am just now coming back from lala land.
So right off the bat we get there and get lost because the suite holding the torture chamber was hidden off to the side. Get in, sign in, and listen to the news talk about the two winners of the mega millions. The man across from us was someone's ride. He snored softly in the chair and for the life of me, all I could think about was that he was kinda cute, I could sleep next to that snore. Totally not what I should be thinking in a GI docs office. Mommy's greeting this morning was "There is no reason that anyone in their right minds should be up this early." It was 6:15.
So I get in and they do the questions and my main question to the lady asking the question was did her piercing hurt? She had the one in the actual ear that goes through that little tiny sticky out part... Anyway, she tells me to go behind a curtain and get undressed to put on the gown and lay down. I had to ask for a plus sized gwon because the regular peoples gown... uhm no. The plus sized peoples gown swallowed me. Like almost literally. The girl comes back in to put my IV line in and after warning her that I have small rolling veins made worse by the fact I haven't had anything to drink since eleven the night before and no food for 25 hours before that she says, "Oh I got this." and blows vein number one. Bloggers it's 2:30 pm, six hours later and that sumbitch STILL hurts. Then they brought Royce into the room.
Small aside, how mean is it to have cute guys working in a GI office?? You can't flirt with them because while you're drooling away, they see up your ass or down your throats. What the hell kinda justice is that?!?
Back to it. They brought in Royce and he held my hand while she tried, and blew, a vein in the other arm. She then decided to wrap my first arm in a warm blanket to see if that would help bring them out and as soon as she sat down, Royce spotted a vein in the crook of my left arm and popped that bad boy in. I like royce. Other than the fact that he's probably ten years younger than me and probably got to see parts of me I hope my future husband never gets to see he would have been a fine flirt object. They roll me out of the prep room and I meet Carolyn who says she's my anesthetist. (No I did not get that one right, spell check caught that before I finished typing) I told her she was my new best friend. Sorry P and L. This woman had hard drugs, you understand, right?
I'm in the room, they have me hooked up to enough machines to sufficiently scare me so that my blood pressure is way high so they turned them down and put them behind me, waited five minutes and tried again. Viola! Out of sight and hearing, out of mind. BP Came down nicely. Dr. comes in, no scrubs just a shirt and khakis looking very GQ honestly. He leans against the counter and the ladies in the room verify my name and my birthdate and allergic to medicines, turn me on my side and literally that is all she wrote.
Im not kidding. Next thing I know, I'm waking up and cold as hell. I ask for a blanket and some chick is telling me no, because I need to get dressed so I can go like I was a cheap tumble in the sheets in a pay by the hour motel. Stomach hurts. She tells me to double over and fart. To the small country that was probably blown away over the course of the next five minutes, I sincerely apologize. Just how much air did they pump up there?? She gets me dressed and out to my mom. My first words to her: I want a doughnut. She tells me I can't have one but nurse that was putting me in the car says I can so yay!
Off to DD where I got my glazed Doughnuts. One was gone before mommy finished paying. It just magically disappeared. Poof and all that. Got home and I don't honestly remember getting out my sweats or eating the other two donuts but as I sit here in my happy elves nightgown with an empty DD bag next to me, I'm pretty sure I both ate and disrobed before faceplanting.
My ex mom in law called me to see how I was doing. IDK what time that was. My aunt texted me. So did MB. I didn't get to return MB's text till my feet hit the floor but she loves me, she will totally understand how hard it was to roll back the fog to answer the phone.
You wanna know the saddest part right now, bloggers? I'm hungry, but I'm not. Like I just sat here and ate about ten saltine crackers to make the tummy stop growling, which it hasn't, but I'm full. I'm thirsty but I'm full. I don't want anything else right now. I wonder if I get on the Wii Fit right now will it tell me I set the two pound goal I set like three months ago? I'm thinking I've done that two pounds and more.
The size 20 jeans can now be pulled down over the hips without unbuttoning and unzipping. So any of you guys that were thinking a makeout session is very much needed with me there will be no hassle when it comes to the pants. None. They come right off.
See? I can still be funny.
I'm going to go play the Sims now that Chris has fixed my baby.
I'll try and be back tomorrow. Stay Frosty!
I'm back. In reality I was back by a quarter to ten this morning, but as totally predicted in my last blog I hit the door, I hit the bed and am just now coming back from lala land.
So right off the bat we get there and get lost because the suite holding the torture chamber was hidden off to the side. Get in, sign in, and listen to the news talk about the two winners of the mega millions. The man across from us was someone's ride. He snored softly in the chair and for the life of me, all I could think about was that he was kinda cute, I could sleep next to that snore. Totally not what I should be thinking in a GI docs office. Mommy's greeting this morning was "There is no reason that anyone in their right minds should be up this early." It was 6:15.
So I get in and they do the questions and my main question to the lady asking the question was did her piercing hurt? She had the one in the actual ear that goes through that little tiny sticky out part... Anyway, she tells me to go behind a curtain and get undressed to put on the gown and lay down. I had to ask for a plus sized gwon because the regular peoples gown... uhm no. The plus sized peoples gown swallowed me. Like almost literally. The girl comes back in to put my IV line in and after warning her that I have small rolling veins made worse by the fact I haven't had anything to drink since eleven the night before and no food for 25 hours before that she says, "Oh I got this." and blows vein number one. Bloggers it's 2:30 pm, six hours later and that sumbitch STILL hurts. Then they brought Royce into the room.
Small aside, how mean is it to have cute guys working in a GI office?? You can't flirt with them because while you're drooling away, they see up your ass or down your throats. What the hell kinda justice is that?!?
Back to it. They brought in Royce and he held my hand while she tried, and blew, a vein in the other arm. She then decided to wrap my first arm in a warm blanket to see if that would help bring them out and as soon as she sat down, Royce spotted a vein in the crook of my left arm and popped that bad boy in. I like royce. Other than the fact that he's probably ten years younger than me and probably got to see parts of me I hope my future husband never gets to see he would have been a fine flirt object. They roll me out of the prep room and I meet Carolyn who says she's my anesthetist. (No I did not get that one right, spell check caught that before I finished typing) I told her she was my new best friend. Sorry P and L. This woman had hard drugs, you understand, right?
I'm in the room, they have me hooked up to enough machines to sufficiently scare me so that my blood pressure is way high so they turned them down and put them behind me, waited five minutes and tried again. Viola! Out of sight and hearing, out of mind. BP Came down nicely. Dr. comes in, no scrubs just a shirt and khakis looking very GQ honestly. He leans against the counter and the ladies in the room verify my name and my birthdate and allergic to medicines, turn me on my side and literally that is all she wrote.
Im not kidding. Next thing I know, I'm waking up and cold as hell. I ask for a blanket and some chick is telling me no, because I need to get dressed so I can go like I was a cheap tumble in the sheets in a pay by the hour motel. Stomach hurts. She tells me to double over and fart. To the small country that was probably blown away over the course of the next five minutes, I sincerely apologize. Just how much air did they pump up there?? She gets me dressed and out to my mom. My first words to her: I want a doughnut. She tells me I can't have one but nurse that was putting me in the car says I can so yay!
Off to DD where I got my glazed Doughnuts. One was gone before mommy finished paying. It just magically disappeared. Poof and all that. Got home and I don't honestly remember getting out my sweats or eating the other two donuts but as I sit here in my happy elves nightgown with an empty DD bag next to me, I'm pretty sure I both ate and disrobed before faceplanting.
My ex mom in law called me to see how I was doing. IDK what time that was. My aunt texted me. So did MB. I didn't get to return MB's text till my feet hit the floor but she loves me, she will totally understand how hard it was to roll back the fog to answer the phone.
You wanna know the saddest part right now, bloggers? I'm hungry, but I'm not. Like I just sat here and ate about ten saltine crackers to make the tummy stop growling, which it hasn't, but I'm full. I'm thirsty but I'm full. I don't want anything else right now. I wonder if I get on the Wii Fit right now will it tell me I set the two pound goal I set like three months ago? I'm thinking I've done that two pounds and more.
The size 20 jeans can now be pulled down over the hips without unbuttoning and unzipping. So any of you guys that were thinking a makeout session is very much needed with me there will be no hassle when it comes to the pants. None. They come right off.
See? I can still be funny.
I'm going to go play the Sims now that Chris has fixed my baby.
I'll try and be back tomorrow. Stay Frosty!
Brief blog
Because I don't have long at all.
I'm about to hit the road to go get my mom. I have the colonoscopy upper endoscopy this morning at a quarter to seven. That's right, they're going to go down both ends in the same visit. I drew the special torture card! Yay me!
My stomach is so empty it hurts, my mouth is dry and I threw up a good bit of the prep last night so even though everything is all clear so to speak I have a feeling I'm going to get yelled at. Goody.
I really hope that this doc finds nothing. Then maybe I will feel better about him scaring the crap out of me when he said he thinks that I need this because he fears cancer. Do you know how many of my dreams have me telling people what I think of them and then walking off only to die in some tropical setting???
I have been planning my last months in my dreams. I never get what I want though. Not even in my dreams. What kind of mess is that?
I would promise to write after I get home but I'm pretty sure my immediate plan will be to face plant on my bed for a few hours.
Stay frosty I'll be back!
I'm about to hit the road to go get my mom. I have the colonoscopy upper endoscopy this morning at a quarter to seven. That's right, they're going to go down both ends in the same visit. I drew the special torture card! Yay me!
My stomach is so empty it hurts, my mouth is dry and I threw up a good bit of the prep last night so even though everything is all clear so to speak I have a feeling I'm going to get yelled at. Goody.
I really hope that this doc finds nothing. Then maybe I will feel better about him scaring the crap out of me when he said he thinks that I need this because he fears cancer. Do you know how many of my dreams have me telling people what I think of them and then walking off only to die in some tropical setting???
I have been planning my last months in my dreams. I never get what I want though. Not even in my dreams. What kind of mess is that?
I would promise to write after I get home but I'm pretty sure my immediate plan will be to face plant on my bed for a few hours.
Stay frosty I'll be back!
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Seriously...
Kids today!
And yes I KNOW I sound like an old person raising my cane and yelling from my easy chair, but honestly, kids today...
So I stopped into McDonald's this afternoon to get the kids something for lunch. It was lunchtime around when all churches in the area let out so they were swamped. It took about twenty minutes to get my food and in that time I saw two adolescents that quite honestly could have done with a swift kick in the ass.
First was the kid that was a freaking angel compared to the other kid... This was a teenage girl. Her mom was white and sorry to my caucasian readers but for this girls attitude, I didn't expect her to do what she did. They came in and the mom ordered food. The girl at the register asked if she wanted it medium or large. Now the girl behind the counter in this line (They had three open) was a big girl. Not damn! big big. Like slightly more than me big. The teenager looks her up and down and says, "I want it medium, I don't wanna get fat like you!"
See my problem is I pay attention to a whole bunch of shit I probably shouldn't. If i had been playing on my phone, I would have missed the whole exchange as it happened so quick. The mom looked at the girl that was horrified by the teen and looked near tears and said. "You know what? How about I buy you lunch while my daughter has to work your job and deal with ungrateful, disrespectful little shits like her while being nice for no reason?" and walked away.
I'm standing there thinking that I could not have been the only person to see this when Satan walked in. I swear it was Satan. Based on what happened next, I'm convinced the kid was Satan.
This short lady came in with a little girl wearing the most adorable hello kitty hat I've ever seen and a almost as tall as her boy wearing bright neon orange beats audio headphones. She did the ordering and she stood at the back like the rest of us her daughter held her hand. The boy, however, stood at the counter standing in the way, like literally in the way of other people trying to order. One man couldn't get him to move so he simply ordered over him him. I know the boy saw and heard the man because at one point he rolled his eyes at him. Then the mom looked up. I guess she had been either dealing with the little girl or on her phone. There were so many people I can't be sure. When she looked up, she realized he was blocking the ordering line and she told him to move. His response was to shift his considerable (i don't need to be talking) weight to the other foot and rolled his eyes again. To her credit or maybe not, she didn't jack him up, she sighed and rolled her eyes. The next woman in line tried to get him to move and he started signing. Keep in mind that I have stomach cramps and other cramps and I'm hungry plus tired of waiting in line so I'm controlling the urge to jack this kid up myself as well as the mom.
The woman trying to order walked out. She didn't even bother. She just walked out so now McDonald's has lost a customer over this kid. The guy behind the counter decided if the mom wasn't going to do anything, he was and he pulled the headphones off the kids head and told him to move his lazy ass. At this point, everyone waiting for food started to clap. The kid started screaming and cussing and then looked at his mother and said, and I quote:" Are you going to let this nigger talk to me like that?" She said "I told you to move." and he rolled those eyes that I wanted to scoop out with a spoon and said "You stupid good for nothin bitch."
I swear you could hear a cricket fart in McDonalds at that moment. This was the woman's opportunity to shove this boy into a deep fryer and not one single one of us would have seen a damn thing when the cops came around asking. As far as we would have been concerned, he fell. From the front of the store he just fell... And she fucking sighed and rolled her eyes!!! The manager came around and went to the register pulled out what I think was a twenty and handed it to the mom telling her to please go. Go to KFC or Burger King just leave.
I felt bad because as the mother was leaving, the little girl realized she wasn't getting McDonalds and because to scream bloody freaking murder. The woman didn't leave towards the parking lot where I was parked, she left towards the K-mart side so either she bussed it there or was parked over there. Don't know, don't care.
What has happened to children over the course of the years? If I had acted that way not just my mother but everyone in McDonalds would have gang jumped me and taken turns beating me. In her time as a kid, my gram would have knocked the teeth out of her head for the mere thought of saying that shit. Before that, I'm not sure. The point is, the more time marches on, the more kids think they can say whatever the hell they want.
I hope my kids never think they have the right to speak to me like I'm worth less than them. I brought them in this world and if I have to, I'll take them out of it. No child should treat any adult like garbage. No adult should treat a child like garbage. no one should treat anyone like garbage. We all need each other whether we like it or not. And that's not my oh so preachy Christmas message. We all need each other. Period. Stop treating each other like crap. Kids, remember your parents will always be bigger than you. Even if you are six feet and they are four, they are bigger than you and know way more than you. Like how to kill you and make it look like a real accident. Like how to cut you off at the knees and bring you down to their eye level and how to frame you for heinous acts against humanity and let the cops lock you up for the rest of your life and no one will believe you because mom and dad can prove that you've been a habitual liar all your life. Remember that kids. Just keep that in the back of your heads. And if by some chance my kids are reading this... I win. And I'm always right. Even when I'm wrong... I'm right. I'm always right.
Always.
Goodnight folks!!
And yes I KNOW I sound like an old person raising my cane and yelling from my easy chair, but honestly, kids today...
So I stopped into McDonald's this afternoon to get the kids something for lunch. It was lunchtime around when all churches in the area let out so they were swamped. It took about twenty minutes to get my food and in that time I saw two adolescents that quite honestly could have done with a swift kick in the ass.
First was the kid that was a freaking angel compared to the other kid... This was a teenage girl. Her mom was white and sorry to my caucasian readers but for this girls attitude, I didn't expect her to do what she did. They came in and the mom ordered food. The girl at the register asked if she wanted it medium or large. Now the girl behind the counter in this line (They had three open) was a big girl. Not damn! big big. Like slightly more than me big. The teenager looks her up and down and says, "I want it medium, I don't wanna get fat like you!"
See my problem is I pay attention to a whole bunch of shit I probably shouldn't. If i had been playing on my phone, I would have missed the whole exchange as it happened so quick. The mom looked at the girl that was horrified by the teen and looked near tears and said. "You know what? How about I buy you lunch while my daughter has to work your job and deal with ungrateful, disrespectful little shits like her while being nice for no reason?" and walked away.
I'm standing there thinking that I could not have been the only person to see this when Satan walked in. I swear it was Satan. Based on what happened next, I'm convinced the kid was Satan.
This short lady came in with a little girl wearing the most adorable hello kitty hat I've ever seen and a almost as tall as her boy wearing bright neon orange beats audio headphones. She did the ordering and she stood at the back like the rest of us her daughter held her hand. The boy, however, stood at the counter standing in the way, like literally in the way of other people trying to order. One man couldn't get him to move so he simply ordered over him him. I know the boy saw and heard the man because at one point he rolled his eyes at him. Then the mom looked up. I guess she had been either dealing with the little girl or on her phone. There were so many people I can't be sure. When she looked up, she realized he was blocking the ordering line and she told him to move. His response was to shift his considerable (i don't need to be talking) weight to the other foot and rolled his eyes again. To her credit or maybe not, she didn't jack him up, she sighed and rolled her eyes. The next woman in line tried to get him to move and he started signing. Keep in mind that I have stomach cramps and other cramps and I'm hungry plus tired of waiting in line so I'm controlling the urge to jack this kid up myself as well as the mom.
The woman trying to order walked out. She didn't even bother. She just walked out so now McDonald's has lost a customer over this kid. The guy behind the counter decided if the mom wasn't going to do anything, he was and he pulled the headphones off the kids head and told him to move his lazy ass. At this point, everyone waiting for food started to clap. The kid started screaming and cussing and then looked at his mother and said, and I quote:" Are you going to let this nigger talk to me like that?" She said "I told you to move." and he rolled those eyes that I wanted to scoop out with a spoon and said "You stupid good for nothin bitch."
I swear you could hear a cricket fart in McDonalds at that moment. This was the woman's opportunity to shove this boy into a deep fryer and not one single one of us would have seen a damn thing when the cops came around asking. As far as we would have been concerned, he fell. From the front of the store he just fell... And she fucking sighed and rolled her eyes!!! The manager came around and went to the register pulled out what I think was a twenty and handed it to the mom telling her to please go. Go to KFC or Burger King just leave.
I felt bad because as the mother was leaving, the little girl realized she wasn't getting McDonalds and because to scream bloody freaking murder. The woman didn't leave towards the parking lot where I was parked, she left towards the K-mart side so either she bussed it there or was parked over there. Don't know, don't care.
What has happened to children over the course of the years? If I had acted that way not just my mother but everyone in McDonalds would have gang jumped me and taken turns beating me. In her time as a kid, my gram would have knocked the teeth out of her head for the mere thought of saying that shit. Before that, I'm not sure. The point is, the more time marches on, the more kids think they can say whatever the hell they want.
I hope my kids never think they have the right to speak to me like I'm worth less than them. I brought them in this world and if I have to, I'll take them out of it. No child should treat any adult like garbage. No adult should treat a child like garbage. no one should treat anyone like garbage. We all need each other whether we like it or not. And that's not my oh so preachy Christmas message. We all need each other. Period. Stop treating each other like crap. Kids, remember your parents will always be bigger than you. Even if you are six feet and they are four, they are bigger than you and know way more than you. Like how to kill you and make it look like a real accident. Like how to cut you off at the knees and bring you down to their eye level and how to frame you for heinous acts against humanity and let the cops lock you up for the rest of your life and no one will believe you because mom and dad can prove that you've been a habitual liar all your life. Remember that kids. Just keep that in the back of your heads. And if by some chance my kids are reading this... I win. And I'm always right. Even when I'm wrong... I'm right. I'm always right.
Always.
Goodnight folks!!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Okay so maybe I do suck at this blogging thing...
I'm kidding of course. I've just been battling PMS this last few days. For many women that means being irritable or weepy but for me, this means being extraordinarily tired. Almost like it physically hurts to leave my burrow of blankets. Normally I give into it and just sleep because honestly when I don't get sleep anyway, I am one sideways look away from three mile island.
But Monday, I don't remember what I did, Tuesday was the avenue and rehab for Mommy, Wednesday, she had bible study and to get her hair done and today I had the dentist at the ass crack of dawn. Well not really ass crack, it was ten AM and then Mom had her nerve test at three.
The dentist wasn't bad. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't bad. I have a total of eleven cavities. It might be 12 if she was counting the chip on the front tooth that I told her today I wanted to keep. I don't know. She did the top right three or four. I lost count. They let me listen to my music and quite honestly the only thing that really hurt was the numbing medicine needle. I don't do well with needles so that in itself was a trial for me but even though she said all the shot in my mouth was benzocaine, I felt weirdly loose and very relaxed within like five minutes. She sat there and laughed because i was in a groove that one usually gets when they're in a room full of mary jane even if they aren't smoking. You would have sworn I was high as a kite. Even when she pulled out the drill that sounded like a jackhammer going off in my mouth, I didn't flinch. So the dentist wasn't bad.
I came home and basically faceplanted on my bed for like a half an hour wishing I could feel the left side of my face to absolutely no avail. About one-ish I started to be able to move and feel it so I went to go get lunch then go to moms house to take her to the nerve test. Let me tell you. If you insist on eating before your mouth has unnumbed, be aware that that shit also numbs your swallowing muscles as well. Now picture me driving while eating and discovering I can't actually eat. Yeah... no. It wasn't awesome. It was further not awesome when I got to Mom's house and almost choked to death trying to eat the sandwich. I discovered the ancient art of cutting that sumbish into tiny pieces with a sharp knife. I was getting my sandwich, dammit.
So we get to the doctors office with literally two minutes to spare only to sit there for the next 50 minutes because she was running almost an hour behind. Not for nothing but a friendly notice would have been awesome. We signed in and they said nothing. We waited five minutes then ten and they said nothing. It wasn't until I asked at the 30 minute mark that the one I asked hemmed and hawed until the receptionist on her other side turned to me and said forty five minutes behind. When the woman doing the test came out, she smiled at my mom and thanked her for her paitence. She didn't say anything, but I could imagine the look on my moms face based on the blanching of the other womans face.
I don't even remember half of the time in the office cause the rest of the benzocaine finally wore off and I leaned my head back and slept. Probably like a very tired and loud bear considering I had worried myself awake at five with dreams of a bug eyed monster coming at my mouth with a black and decker drill... So I'm pretty sure in my dozing I was snoring although no one said anything or gave me looks when I woke up.
Took mom home and came home. I worked on Tammey's necklace a little before my shows started. Now I'm sitting here until they are over. Tonight is scandal's winter finale. They have to take time for Kerry Washington to have her baby. That is if the news reports that she got married and then announced she was pregnant are to be believed.
OKay, back. Ten minutes in and it's good. Confusing but good. So I'm going to end this and go watch. Take care bloggies! Love you!!
But Monday, I don't remember what I did, Tuesday was the avenue and rehab for Mommy, Wednesday, she had bible study and to get her hair done and today I had the dentist at the ass crack of dawn. Well not really ass crack, it was ten AM and then Mom had her nerve test at three.
The dentist wasn't bad. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't bad. I have a total of eleven cavities. It might be 12 if she was counting the chip on the front tooth that I told her today I wanted to keep. I don't know. She did the top right three or four. I lost count. They let me listen to my music and quite honestly the only thing that really hurt was the numbing medicine needle. I don't do well with needles so that in itself was a trial for me but even though she said all the shot in my mouth was benzocaine, I felt weirdly loose and very relaxed within like five minutes. She sat there and laughed because i was in a groove that one usually gets when they're in a room full of mary jane even if they aren't smoking. You would have sworn I was high as a kite. Even when she pulled out the drill that sounded like a jackhammer going off in my mouth, I didn't flinch. So the dentist wasn't bad.
I came home and basically faceplanted on my bed for like a half an hour wishing I could feel the left side of my face to absolutely no avail. About one-ish I started to be able to move and feel it so I went to go get lunch then go to moms house to take her to the nerve test. Let me tell you. If you insist on eating before your mouth has unnumbed, be aware that that shit also numbs your swallowing muscles as well. Now picture me driving while eating and discovering I can't actually eat. Yeah... no. It wasn't awesome. It was further not awesome when I got to Mom's house and almost choked to death trying to eat the sandwich. I discovered the ancient art of cutting that sumbish into tiny pieces with a sharp knife. I was getting my sandwich, dammit.
So we get to the doctors office with literally two minutes to spare only to sit there for the next 50 minutes because she was running almost an hour behind. Not for nothing but a friendly notice would have been awesome. We signed in and they said nothing. We waited five minutes then ten and they said nothing. It wasn't until I asked at the 30 minute mark that the one I asked hemmed and hawed until the receptionist on her other side turned to me and said forty five minutes behind. When the woman doing the test came out, she smiled at my mom and thanked her for her paitence. She didn't say anything, but I could imagine the look on my moms face based on the blanching of the other womans face.
I don't even remember half of the time in the office cause the rest of the benzocaine finally wore off and I leaned my head back and slept. Probably like a very tired and loud bear considering I had worried myself awake at five with dreams of a bug eyed monster coming at my mouth with a black and decker drill... So I'm pretty sure in my dozing I was snoring although no one said anything or gave me looks when I woke up.
Took mom home and came home. I worked on Tammey's necklace a little before my shows started. Now I'm sitting here until they are over. Tonight is scandal's winter finale. They have to take time for Kerry Washington to have her baby. That is if the news reports that she got married and then announced she was pregnant are to be believed.
OKay, back. Ten minutes in and it's good. Confusing but good. So I'm going to end this and go watch. Take care bloggies! Love you!!
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