One more day....

So let me start this off right and say to all the happy couples, Happy Valentines Day.

I hate this day. I hate a lot of days but this day in particular is probably on that big list of days that truely suck.

As much as I wanna hunt down that winged brat. With the soggy diaper and a quiver full of arrows, (seriously, in the days where exploiting children is a major nono and being protective of all children is the new IT, NO ONE has bothered to notice that the main symbol of the day is a toddler, armed with sharp arrows and wearing nothing but a diaper that's gotta be loaded since he's been wearing it for centuries?? I'm so suprised some child advocate group hasn't come out against it.) Where was I? Oh yeah, as much as I want to bring that dammned toddler down and spank him, I still wait paitiently for MY arrow every year.

I find most days as well as valentines I wake up praying, "Please let today be the day I find my Prince Charming." I pray extra hard this day.

So I'm going to take the day in stride. I am not going to complain. I will try my best to stay away from all of those sappy happy couples that insist on amping up their PDA displays this day. And I will not threaten everyone that wishes me a happy Valentines day.

Le sigh...

Terminally Single and Blogging is going to knock a few hours off this majesticly shit promising day in bed.

I want to scream...

I know I am not worlds most patient person, hell, I'd probably be in the front run for most impatient person.

Yesterday at the near ass crack of morning, Gary from Cambridge called me and said he got the window and he'd be over on Thursday, today, to put it in. He said he'd be over at lunchtime maybe a little bit earlier. After all I usually sit at home all day anyway. Yes, he actually said that.

So at one thirty, I gave up and came to the hospital. I found her wheezing to the point of pain and discovered that she requested a neb treatment this morning and she had been ignored FOR HOURS. They had just decided to give her the pain med she had requested.

They got on point when I showed my coloring but this could have been avoided if I had been here.

To make matters worse Gary just called as I was typing the above and said he hadn't put me in as an appointment he was just going to come put the window in cause he had some other jobs out my way and he was just running behind. Its effing a quarter to three and he hadn't been able to pick up a phone and call to say this at twelve??? Then he said he was sorry I had waited so long and he'd call me later to see if I could be home this weekend to do the window.

I need to go food shopping this weekend. I can't sit around waiting for him to show or not show.

I can't do this anymore. I can't be one place for one thing and at the hospital. I need help and there's no one to do it.

I feel like screaming. I feel like just going to the woods and having a good scream....

I can't do this...

Hehe

Ever have one of those nights where you just wish the earth would open up and swallow you? Hmmm... this isn't one of those nights for me, but if you ever wanna talk, I'm sorta here. :o)

Hehe, I made a funny.

So I went to my grand aunts one hundreth birthday this weekend and man I forgot how much I loved my fams.

And almost all of them have that special someone to call sweetie. Gag me with a mixing spoon.

No, I'm not going to go into one of my when's it my turn wails, I'm far too drunk for that right now. Personally, I don't give a fuck right this second cause my dream guy is sitting in front of me and he's Russian.

Wow that was lame.

Hehe, I don't care...

So mom goed into surgery tomorrow. Nother hernia. She'll b out ina few days.

Uh oh random thought....

I wanna go to Australia. Okay.

I think mes needs a lighter hand with the vodka bottle. My white rjussians have the kick of a pissed off mule tonight. Good thing I only do this every now and then.

So my Valentines present to myself is going to be a hole in my face. I am finally getting my nose pierced. I'm kinda jazzed. This hole punching will be followed immediately by a massive drunkening.

After that, I'm going to get my contacts and I'm going to rock the stud, the eyes, and the hair and dare someone to tell me he's still realing from his ex or he sees me as a fracking friend. OMG if you knew how many times I have fallen face over foot for a guy and gotten either of those two lines... I so wanna go find these skags that are doing this to the guys I like and have a cat fight... like man, could you have just once NOT fucked over a guy I like???

Let's not discuss the other guys I like, I'm not young enough or skinny enough. Neither of these is bound to change so eff you.

Did I mention my dream guy kally luah and abso lute?

Okay I blogged, I've updated the two people that read this. Love you and goodnight!

Terminally Single and Blogging is way to drunk for her own damn good tonight.

One of those blogs...

Where I need to unload a little.

Bloggers, I have become the explination lady. And I really hate the job. I mean really really.

It started years ago. When the pieces of my marriage fell apart, it was me that ultimately explained the bare facts of what was going on. Like I said before, we never had the 'talk', but I did explain things. Then I explained the move. Then the next move. I explained the new school. And the next new school. Then I eplained charter school and uniforms. Then in 2008, I explained Ome's first hospital stay and the owie they had to go inside to fix. Then I explained me going to work. Then I had to explain how Daddy and Mrs. S could have a baby when they were not married. Wow.

Then Ome's second hospital stay. Then my decision to move them to where they basically knew no one. I had to explain why mommy was mad at the lack of stove and fridge. Nothing big.

A funny thing happened then, I stopped explaining to my kids and started explaining to everyone else. To my mom about why I deal when Randy jerks me around. To section eight, the food stamps, to medicare, the repeat that process about four times.

Most recently we switched back to my kids. I had to explain to then about the break in. I had to try an exolain my shellshock. Then they were supposed to have a sleep over on Saturday but then a bad thing happened that for the first time in a long time I had to skim the outer most layers of the situation to get something I could tell them and damn if they didn't spend Saturday and that night pissed as hell at me because in their world, I had called it off and it was my fault and they had been good all week for shit. I'm going to have a tough time promising the be good for a week for reward thing again.

So today I had to wake them up and tell them that Ome is in the hospital again. I had to explain that she needs surgery again. Except I had been explaining to children for so long I didn't notice I was now talking to tweens, pre tween and thinks I'm a tween. What came out was "Ome is in the hospital, she has an owie that they have to fix." When bounced back was, "Ome has o have surgery again? Is it her hernia or something else?"

Btw, its her hernia. The repair needs to be repaired. Trust Jersey Shore University Medical Center to eff it up once and three years later. From four hundred miles away no less. Now that's talent.

I can't do the explaining job anymore. I have no heart for it and apparently I kinda suck at it. What with my targert audience growing up and all.

Not a failure moment, bloggers, but a tired moment and not because I'm running fourteen hours on one hour sleep wih a body shaking cough. Just tired. Hand the microphone to the next person and just go the hell home tired.

I'm going to send the kids off to school and catch a few zzz's by the tail.

Good morning/night/ afternoon bloggers. Terminally Single and Blogging is going in search of sleep.

Because everyone simply NEEDS to know this!!

A chicken can be hypnotized, or put into a trance by holding its head down against the ground, and continuously drawing a line along the ground with a stick or a finger, starting at its beak and extending straight outward in front of the chicken.

Useful Facts for Android

$#!% my kids say...

Those of you with kids, have your kids ever said something that was so totally off and out there that it could be considered a zingger cause the shit zinged right past you with the force of a cannon??

The other day my kids were watching Shrek the Third (I can't wait to get forever after) and since this is maybe the hepzillionth time they've watched this they decided to tour the special features.

One of the features was a magic eight ball type thing called ask Mr. Merlin, the wizard in the movie. They asked it nonsense questions for an hour then after many pokes and prods got me to submit a question.

Well, my question was "Will I meant a rixh handsome man and get married?" Merlins answer was yes, definately yes. (I really love Merlin at this point.) Well, O come running into my room screaming, "he said yes, mommy, definately yes!" At this point she takes a running leap and lands on my full bodied and with a crash. She hugs me and then looks in my face and says, "I'm going to have a daddy again. One that loves us and wants to live with us cause he likes us!!"

Seriously??? (Thank Patty for bringing back the Greys Anatomy phrase.)

What the eff do you say to that sentence??? Do you call the dad and say we need to have a talk? Do you phone him and gloat? Or, do you sit and think what the hell has my divorce done to my kids??

We never had the divorce talk. Not once. Daddy was there one day and mommy was in tears, and daddy was gone and mommy smiled a real smile in perhaps the first time in their short lives. I'm pretty sure they figured it out after the first year. We even covered the why doesn't daddy live with us anymore at all thing. After all he was in the navy, they are used to him being absent in the home.

But still....

Seriously?????

And the funny thing is, I don't have one of those You-seriously-effed-up-as-a-mom clouds hanging over my head this time. I can't find it. I'm kinda lost in parenting territory here...

Terminally Single and Blogging is suddenly not so sure she can do ths parents of tweens thing....

*gasp*

So follow up...

Nothing really, just honestly felt like letting the little thoughts out for one last romp before I tuck them into bed. I haven't decided whether I'm going to sing them to sleep with a sleeping pill or with alcohol. Either one will render me incapable of waking up in thye night screaming my fool head off.

What kind of person does this?? There are pictures of my kids all over. Right above the tv are big canvas pics of them. They did this knowing that they were doing this to three kids. What kind of person lives with themselves after that???

And why me? Why only the wii? Why not the remotes? What have I done to make them think this was anywhere near okay? If I had come home instead of staying out would this have happened?

The CSI lady was really nice. She talked and talked and it was like talking to an old friend. She even complimented my jewelry and when I told her she could have any piece she wanted she was over the moon. She even came back like five minutes later and paid me for the bracelet saying it was way too good craftmanship to just give away.

That was nearly my second undoing.

After I boarded up the window, I went into the closet and had a good laugh which in turn led to a good cry and thankfully another good laugh. Don't ask me what I was laughing at, I think it was one of those brain disconnected laughs.

Bloggers I don't know if I can do this anymore. My sanity has always been fragile, I admit that. I've had a few times when the glass tipped over and a few time when the glass just cracked. I am a great patcher. I can fill in the cracks enough to keep trucking. My divorce is a crack I can fill. Everytime I fill what I see, it just gets that much longer. Its like a windsheild crack. Every now and then it just spiders along, growing.

I'm honestly running low on filler at the moment and desperately need to fnd some more. I need more before my glass gives into the cracks and shatters.

Who would pick up the pieces and even try to put them back together?

This is stuff that runs through my head. This is why I blog.

Le sigh.

My time is coming. Everyone keeps telling me so. I am getting tired of waiting, but I'm hanging on.

Terminally Single and Blogging has decided to just go with the sleeping pill. Who needs a depressant right now?

Le sigh...

Why...

As I sit here and watch the police officer drive away without so much as a word to me, I can't help but wonder why me?

Bloggers I got broken into again. I left my house with all doors locked and all windows bolted and came home to find that someone had smashed in my window and come into my house again.

I may or may not have blogged then but it was the day after my birthday and they came in a window that I had mistakenly left unlocked and took my flatscreen tv out of my room. They left a brand new computer on the dining room table as well as a wii upstairs. Cops never figured out who did it. I stopped inquiring after a month.

I came home from Pattys house this afternoon about two fifty and found my bedroom window smashed this time.

What gets me is the person doing this seems to be fucking with me. The last time they robbed me they left a computer. This time they left TWO computers both with flatscreen monitors and went right into my living room and stole the wii. They left the remotes and the nunchucks and the wii fit board. They took the wii, the sensor bar, and the cords. They left through the back door which they had to physically unlock and the alarm on my door went off as soon as it was opened.

I have a bubble of hope however. When they came in my window they dropped something which most definately has a print on it. I won't say what here but its a good clue.

So now I have an open hole in my house that my realty company may charge me to fix and may not but probably won't be able to come out and fix tonight most likely.

You know what bothers me the absolute most, bloggers. The wii was two years old and honestly needed to be replaced but inside the wii was the game wii resorts. My kids pooled their christmas money together to buy that. For the first time in recorded history, they worked together as a unit. It was just that special.

They asked to play wii last night and I told them this weekend they could. Now I feel like worlds biggest douche beccause if I had let them, then they would have had one more night with it.

I don't have the money to replace anything nor do I have the money to fix anything.

I feel like... you know what? For the first time in a long time, bloggers, I feel like a failure. I can't protect my kids or their stuff. I can't move because I have no money and no place to go. And it goes way back. I can't hold/get a man. I can't hold a good job. I just can't.

And right now if randy decided to take my kids I wouldn't even win because I have nothing to offer them but myself and I am a collossal failure at everything I do.

Terminally Single and Blogging is going to go attempt to glue her pieces back together and see if they resemble a human being.

Standing at Social services...

So I'm standing here in social services and there's this lady at the top of my line wearing pants that might have fit her when she was a teenager but they sure as hell don't fit her now. She keeps saying "I don't understand..." and the nice lady behind the desk is trying to make her understand but everytime she says what she's nexplaining she gets louder and louder. I feel like saying 0lease don't piss off the social services lady." But I don't because I am respectful but dangit this woman has been standing there for twenty minutes now.

I honestly dislike having to beg for benifits. Not that I think its below me because its not I just don't like having to beg. But I don't guess anyone likes to beg.

They're trying to cancel my medicaid. I filled out the form they sent and I even got it back to them the very next day and now they are saying that I am uncompliant. I would love to know what I am being uncompliant about. Hence the long wait in line.

I'm just grousing... I've lived long enough to know that this is a branch of the government and no matter what weapons u use, you can fight until u r as flat as land in Texas, you are not going to win. Hell I learned when I was a military wife that its a lot less painfull if you just bend over and take your butt reaming like an adult.

Le sigh...

Terminally Single and Blogging can't wait to get home and sim a little bit...

Simming...

So I have gone back to major simming and this time I think I am sticking closer to the truth of my family history than I ever have. Part of me wants to skew reality (more than I actually already am) and keep my parents happily married. As sims its so nice (yes horrible nausiating) to see them kissy and huggy and much to my love of keeping dinner down, they want to woohoo <b>all the damn time</b> (for you non simming people, woohoo his the sim version of sex. Thank god you actually have to <i>try</i> to have a baby, cause OMG I would have me plus like ninety siblings by now, my mom would not have made it out of college.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, they are so happy and a part of me want to play it out and not have their relationship degenerate to the point where they need lawyers to simply decide who takes me school shopping where and when. (This didn't really happen. In actual reality my dad became the king of deadbeat dads at one time choosing his step children over me and lying saying that he realized when he left my mother he was killing all chances of a relationship with me. <b>aside: I was freaking six, all I knew was that my daddy wasn't living at home with me anymore. I went to therapy because I thought I was the only kid in the world whose daddy didn't love her. I think he could have saved that one. I <i>lived</i> for our few outings. He didn't sacrifice <i>anything</i>, he <i>threw</i> it away.</b>

Sorry, don't you love those little tangents of mine?

The last time I did this, I let them split up and the result was sim me was waaaay more screwed up than actual me is. The second time I split them up sim me was was awesome. The first time I kept them together, my sim achieved nothing and was so screwed up that even when my sim husband carried on a long term affair with the woman down the block including having multiple children with her, adult sim me was furious with him but effing in love with him literally <b>ALL</b> her wants were pleasing him and all of her fears were him dying marriage breaking up and death of her dad. The second time I let them stay together, I was an awesome person who not only dominated my marriage but made the choice to oust the ex. I <i>liked</i> her. So you see it could go either way.

Why is life so much more awesome in the sims? I mean its not the fact that I can control them or make myself super thin with long luxurious locks and grey eyes. Its just easier period. I build a house one that I love and we move in and everyone is happy and its all good. Or bad. But still very easy.

As usual my dreams will probably be in sim form tonight. I think tomorrow I will let them woohoo to their hearts content that I come into play. I think its time.

Well blogs and kisses, readers. I am going to bed. Whatever this is I'm catching has caught me and I just want to curl up and sleep.

Terminally Single and Blogging is signing off for the night!

<b>muhwah!</b>